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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you have a Friends of, or a PTA; how was your leader chosen?

46 replies

mxd · 23/09/2025 06:49

Recently the two co-chairs of our Friends of stepped down and someone else was put in without any sort of consultation with anyone else.

I've found the way they've dealt with it all quite strange.
Engagement with volunteers etc is now so low, I'm almost worried it'll completely fold.

Any advice?

OP posts:
slightlyoverbaked · 23/09/2025 06:54

Normally it’s the only poor fucker who volunteers for it

Original poster
mxd · 23/09/2025 06:56

Yes I suppose that's true.

OP posts:
Shouldbeworkingnotreadingtalk · 23/09/2025 06:57

slightlyoverbaked · 23/09/2025 06:54

Normally it’s the only poor fucker who volunteers for it

And the first post nails it ….

Canyousewcushions · 23/09/2025 06:59

slightlyoverbaked · 23/09/2025 06:54

Normally it’s the only poor fucker who volunteers for it

Yup, this. We do have a vote in line with our constitution, but aren't exactly overwhelmed with volunteers to chair it!!

It's usually a vote with just one option, and the rest of us are really grateful to whoever has taken it on!!

Bournetilly · 23/09/2025 07:00

They sent a vote via email but there were only 4 choices so I doubt many voulenteers.

Original poster
mxd · 23/09/2025 07:01

I'm just not keen on who's in which has made me step right back. It's a shame because we're also struggling for people.

OP posts:
DappledThings · 23/09/2025 07:02

We put out regular calls for volunteers to join. We've had a few more this year wanting to be generally helpers but the secretary, treasurer and chair all left at the end of last year and we only had one volunteer for each so they were duly elected.

It's entirely open and above board but if nobody wants to do it there's not a lot you can do

WIcurious · 23/09/2025 07:58

As the others have said, there’s usually very few people willing.

I wouldn’t do it so I’m grateful to anyone who steps up, and if they do things I wouldn’t have chosen I support them anyway.

autienotnaughty · 23/09/2025 08:00

Would you have done it op? Were you asked?

LittleAlexHornesPocket · 23/09/2025 08:01

We had to practically beg people to take on our roles when we stepped down. It's very frustrating, especially when parents moan that the PTA isn't doing enough.

zazazooms · 23/09/2025 08:01

I was the chair of the PTA because no one else went to the meeting! Didn't love it but dis it for 2 years and made loads of money for the school.

moresoup · 23/09/2025 08:01

I put out multiple calls for volunteers. Noone new came to the meeting. So it went to the only lady who (fairly reluctantly) said she would do it. She's lovely, but I wish we had had more people coming to our meetings.

Lambington · 23/09/2025 08:03

Did you or or anyone else put yourselves forward and were ignored? If so that is disgraceful.

Swiftie1878 · 23/09/2025 08:03

mxd · 23/09/2025 07:01

I'm just not keen on who's in which has made me step right back. It's a shame because we're also struggling for people.

Try to put your differences aside and be supportive. Schools really need the fundraising and there are so few people who are willing or able to take on these roles.

TheNightingalesStarling · 23/09/2025 08:05

Br pragmatic... Will they be good at the job? Being competent is better than be popular.

lljkk · 23/09/2025 08:08

slightlyoverbaked · 23/09/2025 06:54

Normally it’s the only poor fucker who volunteers for it

yeah, exactly that.

MaybeIf · 23/09/2025 08:11

slightlyoverbaked · 23/09/2025 06:54

Normally it’s the only poor fucker who volunteers for it

That’s exactly how it was at the two primaries DS attended.

Needmorelego · 23/09/2025 08:12

Yes in my experience it's usually the one and only person who volunteers for it.

IKnowAristotle · 23/09/2025 08:12

I'm chair of the PTA and my first task was to beg people to turn up for an AGM so we could actually be quorate and officially elect me.

Original poster
mxd · 23/09/2025 08:19

Lambington · 23/09/2025 08:03

Did you or or anyone else put yourselves forward and were ignored? If so that is disgraceful.

Exactly this! Me

OP posts:
MaybeIf · 23/09/2025 08:20

IKnowAristotle · 23/09/2025 08:12

I'm chair of the PTA and my first task was to beg people to turn up for an AGM so we could actually be quorate and officially elect me.

That’s exactly what a friend of mine said. After doing it for years, she then had to run a sort of un-electoral campaign to find someone to take over!

CurlewKate · 23/09/2025 08:26

In my experience-it’s the person who wasn’t there at the meeting where the person was decided.
Seriously though, there will be a constitution. Look on the school website as a first step. Otherwise, ask the Secretary for a copy.

Tagyoureit · 23/09/2025 08:47

When I joined and put myself forward as chair, I was voted in by the rest of the committee at the yearly agm.

When I suddenly left because id had a falling out with the head over my son being bullied, I quit and the role went to the treasurer as interim chair until the next agm.

Maybe the committee at yours have done something similar.

Eta that i joined in Nov 22 and then put myself forward as chair in Oct 23. It didnt happen straight away.

IKnowAristotle · 23/09/2025 08:57

Definitely ask for a copy of their constitution and/or standing orders so you understand the process of elections. If you still want to be chair, you'll need to follow that process and get elected.

Incredibly rare that there is competition but good for you.

InMyOpenOnion · 23/09/2025 09:02

IKnowAristotle · 23/09/2025 08:12

I'm chair of the PTA and my first task was to beg people to turn up for an AGM so we could actually be quorate and officially elect me.

Exactly this at our school too. The chair is elected at the AGM but hardly anyone turns up. It's usually just the head teacher, the outgoing chair and a couple of committee members who vote.

I agree with PP though, that you don't have to like the chair if you still want to help. As long as they are not rude or aggressive, tolerate them at meetings then crack on with what you've agreed to do.