Scared to walk home!

[Madtherapist]

I am going out for a drink tomorrow, just to a pub in the town, and I’m actually a bit worried about the walk home, it won’t be too late, maybe 10/10.30, my husband offered to pick me up, or I could get a taxi, but now I think maybe I should just pull up my big girl pants and just walk, it’s roughly 20 mins.
does anyone else get like this? Am I just being overly paranoid and dramatic!
it’s definitely something I didn’t really think about in my younger days, how unsafe it can actually be, I used to walk miles in the early hours of the morning just to get home after a night out.

Same. I’d hate to not be able to go out on my own after dark but do realise I’m lucky to live somewhere that doesn’t have a terribly high crime rate.

I would probably do the same but wouldn't wear headphones, I need to be aware of noises around me such as footsteps and oncoming cars/bikes..

My DH will pick me up whatever time even 3am (not that I go out that late anymore). Take the lift from your DH. He offered and that is a sign of a good DH.

I would take the lift

It wouldn't occur to me to be worried about walking a mile at 10.30pm. But I don't have anyone to give me a lift so I just get on with it. Generally I don't like accepting lifts though as I prefer to be independent. I live in a central London area which has quite a high statistical crime rate, but don't feel unsafe as it's so busy and well-lit.

I'd rather walk - bit of exercise to balance the treats.

I regularly walk alone late/in the dark in my city, from nights out, the gym, working late. I also walk in remote areas in day time alone. I do sometimes feel scared, but I do it anyway because it’s really important to me to be able to live an independent life the same as anyone else can. I prefer walking to busses, taxis, or lifts.

I’m far from naive about the risks to women, in and out of our homes. But unless there is a specific live threat in my area, for example a missing or attacked woman with no culprit found, I will go about my business as I like. The concessions I will make are no headphones and no shortcuts.

Me too. I always choose to walk if it’s practical. I like getting a bit of exercise and it calms my mind.

Yes I feel a bit caged in if I can't move.

Obviously I'm not suggesting that if you're confident/brave, that's some kind of guarantee of safety. I'm aware that there is a risk in walking alone but I am not willing to let that stop me.

By the way, the person taking the biggest risk walking alone at night is a young man - he is statistically most likely to be assaulted. But we don't tell men to stay at home and be afraid.

I get that it feels different depending on the area. I lived in Cairo for a while and it was terrifying walking alone any time of the day or evening. I was assaulted numerous times. But I still went out because otherwise I would have just felt trapped in my home. (I left the country as soon as I could, though! Horrible place for women.)

Our local pub is around a 15 min walk away. I would, and have done many times, walk home at around 10.30pm. It's on a main road so I always feel safe. In the winter I have to walk/run home from my local running club at 7.30pm when it's dark but again I stick to the main road. Never had even an inkling of not being safe

I am just as bothered about DS getting home as DD for this reason.

I thought it was fairly common for women to not walk home alone late at night so this thread surprises me. I don't have much need to walk home or around at night tbh but I would avoid it anyway and i live in a 'safe area'. It only takes one nutter tbh and I don't particularly want to be part of a statistic that shows why it's not safe.

I know I SHOULD be able to walk around at night whenever and wherever I want, but it's not a risk I want to take in the real world

I get that. But you wouldn't curtail his or her freedom for this reason, right? Assuming they are adults, people need to be able to risk assess and take reasonable risks, in order to experience life fully.

I think it is sadly common. It's up to you to decide what risks you want to take, but in my mind, you're also taking a risk by staying at home and being afraid. The risk is that you will feel unable to do things by yourself, that you are sacrificing your independence, and your soul is slowly eroded by your self-imposed limitations. I mean, there's also the risk that someone could break into your house! No course of action is risk-free - you just have to choose your poison.

I walk around alone at night and have done so for more than thirty years across many countries. I have lived and travelled independently, and I am a shift worker. I could not live with the restrictions frightened women like the one who won’t walk around after 6pm impose on themselves.

It remains true that the most dangerous thing I’ve done is marry a man.

A lot of life is missed from fear of strangers totally out of proportion to the risk they represent. The people who put this fear onto you did not have your interests at heart.

I walk home alone. I refuse to be scared because I'm a woman. I walk purposefully and have a fake phone convo if I see anyone else about. I hate this fear culture and think generally most people won't harm you.

Completely depends on the walk.

I have walked at midnight home from pubs - busy high street then just roads of houses (many terraced)

I wouldn't walk back for example if it was a road of large houses set a long way back from the road with big gardens. Or if it was next to industrial units with large expanses of car parks. Or large open green areas like parks.

Yes,accept the offer of a lift without a doubt or book a taxi.

Walking alone for 20 minutes in the dark when drunk is just stupid when you can get a lift or a taxi.

You'll be fine. Just stick to the main roads. I used to work till that time most nights and always walked home. MN users tend to be overly anxious/risk averse so bear that in mind with these responses.

I’m 53 and will always walk home if I’m out at night, anything up to about two miles, unless the weather is absolutely foul. I live in a suburb close to a city centre, now, but I’ve done this wherever I’ve lived, including a fairly sketchy bit of north London.

I walked home at about half past midnight last Friday night.

I would always accept a lift home from dh if out with friends.

i live in a relatively safe place but it just takes one arsehole to be out looking for trouble which you then get caught up in and this is talking from experience.

always accept the lift and don’t listen to people saying it’s safe to walk home, you’ll be fine, you’re an adult trust your gut. Blah blah blah.

we thought we were safe walking home until it wasn’t. Our experince has put me off going out.

I think the unfamiliar tends to make us apprehensive.

If you did this every week it would be normal to walk home and you would be used to the idea that it is a normal thing to do. I.e how safe it is rather than ‘how unsafe it can be’

In London we walk about late because we get public transport, and don’t think twice about it. I wouldn’t have been able to do my job if I hadn’t been happy to do a 15 min walk at home 11 most nights. M

We get older, go out less, have spouses who offer lifts and all of a sudden things feel more scary.

It can shrink your world.

I see this all the time on MN. Everything viewed as a risk.

Really? So if you don’t have a car you’d have no social life all winter after work. I’ll be 60 in a few years and it wouldn’t occur to me not to walk 20 minutes home from the pub, or a friends house at whatever time I felt like going home.

im a runner and, sometimes, the only time you can squeeze a run in is after 7. I stick to paths and wear a heard torch and hi vis clothing but my concerns are getting run over or falling.