To blame myself for what's happened and be panicking

[EqualityDuck]

My friend came round last week with her 4 month old baby. When they were at mine, they had a pretty bad fall (mum was holding the baby so both fell). It was on a bit of floorboard that I know needed replacing as it wasn't stable.

I walked in front of my friend and avoided this bit of floor, then turned around to warn her but she'd already stepped on it and they'd fallen. She landed on her back and baby landed on top of her.

They got up immediately, my friend said she was totally fine and baby was totally fine, no bleeding/no marks or anything and they both then stayed for our planned lunch etc. Baby and friend both happy, friend repeatedly reassured me they were fine.

Friend texted me when she got home again re-iterating they are fine.

It's now a few days later, I haven't heard from friend (not unusual, we don't talk every day). But in another group chat we are both in, another person shared some good news a few hrs ago and everyone except my friend has replied.

AIBU for 1) 100% blaming myself for them falling because I didn't replace the floorboard and didn't warn them about it and 2) panicking that something has developed since I last heard from my friend and they're in hospital suffering latent effects from the fall????

YANBU. As you state, you are to blame. Is the floorboard fixed now?

Did she hit her head? Because, unless she hit her head, a healthy adult falling onto their back from a standing height really is probably totally fine. And babies are tough; the baby landed on mum and was fine.

Message your friend and check in.

Have you fixed the floorboard? You should have at least got safety tape and taped the area securely down until getting it fixed.

They were both fine at the time, so I'm pretty sure they are both still fine now. Are you usually anxious, because your worry over this seems disproportionate. Don't beat yourself up about it - most houses have trip hazards somewhere!

She's probably really busy with the baby

Yabu for blaming yourself. Accidents happen.

Edited because I posted too soon!! I wanted to add that I'm sure your friend is ok xx

Just message her. I'm sure she'd want to update/reassure you if she knew you were worrying. Say you still feel terrible about what happened, you're getting the floorboard sorted as you should have a long time ago and you just want to check that there haven't been any lasting effects from the fall for her and baby.

Very few people are offended by a friend showing an excess of concern.

Yes - I've fixed the board now. And yes - I am usually anxious (diagnosed anxiety and OCD)... hence why I wanted to see if I was catatrophising and overworrying as I can't always see the difference between normal thoughts and these intrusive worry loops.

Accidents happen and I’m sure your friend is fine - just a busy mum with a young baby. Is she local? Could you pop round tomorrow with some flowers and see her for your own peace of mind? Then you will know for sure how she is and you can be reassured by that.

I understand with your anxiety, it may sound scary.
I am sure your friend is fine and so is the baby.
If she felt ill or was worried about her child, she would have not stayed for lunch etc.
Also she texted you a couple of hours later and seemed to be fine, so chances of both of them being unwell after this point is slim.
She probably is busy. You can always check in with her to put your mind at ease, say you were thinking of her and wondered if she was ok.