“Big girl pants, OP”

[Realhousewive]

Does anyone else find this term incredibly patronising? I’ve seen it used in some ridiculous instances recently - the newly qualified driver not wanting to drive several hours away for a weeks holiday with two young DC after her DH had a drunken night being a prime example!

YANBU. It's a phrase which is misogynistic and infantilises women. Given that this site is predominantly women, why do some want to do that to others?

It’s all about context. Sometimes it is inappropriately used: sometimes it is a polite/jokey way of telling someone they are being a ridiculous princess!

I say it to myself (right come bible put ya big girl pants on and deal with it) .

Then again its mumsnet we as women can not call ourselves a girls either because it goes against science apparently.

I have to laugh at some of the things i read on hear.

I don't like it either, @Realhousewive . Nobody says 'Big boy pants', do they?

I say it to myself also. I can't say it's ever offended me.

@Emanwenym yes I have heard people say it to men at work “put your big boy pants on James and get in there!”

Context is everything sometimes people need to put their big girl pants on the e.g. you used is not one of them times

No they say man up

Oh, OK then. Thanks.

Can't say I find it annoying really.

There are some incredibly wet lettuces on MN that make me seriously wonder how they get through a day.

No different to telling a man to 'grow a pair'.

@Emanwenym . Mn loves to call men, Mummy's Boy' which is both infantilising and an opportunity to be condescending about another woman.

Always makes me think of the song Go Big by the Mighty Mighty Boss Tones!
"Put on your big boy pants,
Tighten your grip and adjust your stance,
You may have messed around
And missed your chance."

I absolutely hate it

I thought it was another "Only seen on MN" until my sister used it to me.
I told her never to use that stupid expression to me ever again

Or grow a pair

I don't think "man up" or "grow a pair" is acceptable either. I feel like grown adults should have developed the vocabulary to state their point without insults.

A singularly naff expression rather weirdly used recently in a court setting by someone who was definitely not female.

Agree with @borntobequiet. I’m afraid this now just makes me think of trans woman (male to female) Dr Upton in the Sandie Peggie tribunal.

But then I’m old and wear Very Big Pants anyway.

@Rosesfornoses , 'mummy's boy' sums up a sort of man though, and you also have 'daddy's girl'.

I think 'mummy's boy' is a slur on the man not his mother.

I don't like 'big girl's blouse'.

I use it. For myself. No other situation. I said it about an event in questionable conditions this Sunday past and had 'hats off to you' from a male club mate.

They do, they also say Man up and boys/men don't cry as well

Most expressions of toughening up are gendered masculine; this is a refreshing exception IMO.

I also hate ‘Run’ in relation to anything negative an OP might be facing,

It's not offensive at all. I'd never use it as it sounds pathetic and makes me cringe but I wouldn't take offence if someone said it to me.

I think it’s fine. I refer to myself doing that if im facing something a bit scary! I also use Big BOY Pants as well referring to blokes, so it’s not misogynistic when I’m saying it.