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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Promotion given to a younger man

127 replies

Whatiswrongwithme1979 · 22/09/2025 16:59

Am I being unreasonable to be angry, feel worthless and to wish I didn't have to go back to work?

Ive worked 20 years in a senior role and was strongly encouraged to apply for a promotion going in my department. As context, I get excellent performance ratings and have won awards in the last year for that as well.

I apparently did very well at interview, with no feedback given. The job was given to a man with less than half my experience, no professional qualifications and who is junior to me in position at work. He is a smooth talker but is rarely seen at work and has an uncanny ability to do very little whilst getting his team to work to the bone - perhaps a leadership quality in itself.

Im angry, dejected and feel rubbish. I'm not quite sure what to do next as it is a clear signal of how I'm valued.

The decision makes me feel like the executive lack integrity and dont live up to the values the company espouses, though I can't put my finger on why.

How do I process this and move on, how do I not feel so angry, am I even reasonable to feel angry about their decision!?

OP posts:
Baggyit · 24/09/2025 18:22

Annoyeddd · 24/09/2025 09:59

Age and gender aside there are always people who can talk their way to the top and will get any job they apply for.
I have worked with a few - brilliant at interviews but useless at the job. Have big plans but have got a new job before it all goes pear shaped.
Think Liz Truss

So true. My 58 year old friend is a very experienced chemical engineer and has wfh for several years very successfully. It suits her and her family. She is very well liked by the clients for whom she has long worked with.

Late last year her lovely boss retired and management brought in a "young gun".
Full of himself, with corporate word salad, and weak technically.

They appointed him ahead of someone who was well regarded, highly experienced and a woman.
My friend was pissed off for her colleague but got on with her job.

Last April she got an unexpected, curt email from this new boss, telling her she was expected back in the office full-time May 1st.
No discussion whatsoever.

Now it irritated her. A lot. She's working there 15 years and the tone and lack of consultation offended her greatly.

So she fired back her resignation, effective immediately, as she had built up holidays for the summer with her children.
She copied HR and her client into her resignation stating this new policy would not work for her life balance, she privately told HR the delivery was very poor considering her many years of service to the company.

She turned her phone off.
She gave a few close colleagues in the office the heads up, and they were able to witness his red head when he received almost immediate calls from the client and HR, seeking clarification as to wtf was going on.

Long story short he got it in the ear from both HR and client.
The client expressed enormous dissatisfaction at her leaving, and that it appeared to be as a result of her treatment by the company.

HR made every effort to smooth it over and her boss apologised unreservedly for his "miscommunication".

She wouldn't rescind it.
She informed them this treatment of her by the company, was the push she needed to take some time off.

She has had a lovely summer off and after a positive approach from her former client has accepted a contract to join them from the 1st of October, and is looking forward to the new challenge.
They are more than happy to have her for a shorter week, working from home.

Her ex colleagues regularly bring her name up when in the office as watching her former boss squirm has become a bit of an office sport.

She has been told her loss to the firm has been a huge mis step on their part and that they would welcome her return.
She is looking forward to the new position.

She has also been told that the department is now considered a HR headache as so many staff have applied for early retirement, site move, drastically reduced work hours and they are looking at a brain drain after years of stability in a very important discipline.

He's a much quieter man in there, but he remains in the position.

GPproblems · 24/09/2025 18:24

OP I’ve only read your responses.

I’ve voted YABU. It looks like you’re seeking to figure out why he was hired. They’ve told you this. They wanted to go in a different direction. That’s that. They didn’t like whatever you put forward at your interview.

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