Christmas family issues

user1457118326 · 2025-09-22T08:30:35+00:00

Sorry to bring up the C word so early on. I wanted people's opinions on whether a certain thing my husband's family do on Christmas day is a bit weird. We have all the family round every year (no thanks, no contribution and no helping but that is a whole other thread!) there are a minimum of 11 of us in total. Everyone brings ALL of their presents from home. The house is already full of people and having all of the presents and the resulting rubbish drives me mad. We have dinner at 1PM and they are an hour's drive away, why can't they open them at home! Apologies if I sound a bit insane and mainly I am just venting

Favouritefruits · 22/09/2025 09:33

Yea, that’s a bit mad, but I suppose it’s not hurting or offending anybody and it’s all about the hustle and bustle at Christmas. It’s strange but I’d let them crack in with their tradition.

Namerequired · 22/09/2025 09:33

I think it’s quite nice, but also can see how it could be difficult. Are these all adults?
I think it’s a much bigger issue that you always have to host and get no help and no thanks! Why would you continue it?

Mum2twoandacockapoo · 22/09/2025 09:34

Tell them with all the recycling restrictions in your area you prefer them to open their presents at home this year so you’re not left with the mess because your council is making cuts to how much recycling you can put out .

Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 22/09/2025 09:34

You sound a bit insane for hosting every year tbh, sorry.
Give yourself a lovely Christmas break this year and volunteer someone else to do the job.

Original poster

user1457118326 · 22/09/2025 09:52

Namerequired · 22/09/2025 09:33

I think it’s quite nice, but also can see how it could be difficult. Are these all adults?
I think it’s a much bigger issue that you always have to host and get no help and no thanks! Why would you continue it?

They are all adults except for one child.My husband loves hosting and has always done it previously to us getting married (we met when he was 40). I don't feel that I can object. He does all of the cooking and loves it.

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 22/09/2025 09:54

Tell them to take their rubbish away with them?

ttcbubbanumber2 · 22/09/2025 09:59

I think YANBU but at the same time YABU for putting up with this every year and then secretly complaining about it when it clearly isn’t how you want to spend your Christmas.

Can you not put a boundary in? Ask everyone to contribute one item to the meal? Tell people to contribute £10/20 per person due to rising costs and help towards the Xmas dinner? Tell people to do their personal gifts at home and just bring round the gifts they are giving to people on Xmas day at your home.

ttcbubbanumber2 · 22/09/2025 09:59

user1457118326 · 22/09/2025 09:52

They are all adults except for one child.My husband loves hosting and has always done it previously to us getting married (we met when he was 40). I don't feel that I can object. He does all of the cooking and loves it.

Show quote history

No! Speak up to your DH and tell him how you’re feeling. He can still host if he loves it, but a bit of a help and boundaries go along way.

its your Christmas Day too!!

KimberleyClark · 22/09/2025 10:02

Yes that’s a bit bonkers really.

KimberleyClark · 22/09/2025 10:02

Duplicate post

KimberleyClark · 22/09/2025 10:03

Triplicate post.

Calliopespa · 22/09/2025 10:06

Do they help clean up the unboxing? I presume the gifts all get taken home.

Provided it's just a bit of chaos on the day I have to say I actually think its sounds quite fun and festive. I'd just have a rule that everyone clears away their own wrap.

If your DH loves doing the cooking that's great: grab a drink, put your feet up and watch the mad unwrapping!

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for contributions to the meal - especially easy to bring things like drink or a Christmas cake etc. They can actually be the costly bits too.

SJM1988 · 22/09/2025 10:06

Its a bit odd if they are close by and spend the morning at home. We only take presents places if we are staying Christmas eve, even then we don't take the majority of mine and DHs, just the kids ones.

BigHouseLittleHouse · 22/09/2025 10:07

It’s bonkers but it’s a family tradition- they obviously love opening the gifts all together so they can have that feeling of excitement and Christmas bustle and chaos.

We have never done this but my dh is the opposite - he literally stands hovering over my children with a black bin bag picking up every scrap of packaging the very second they unwrap something. And scan sometimes be heard to tut loudly and obnoxiously if something flutters down onto the carpet. It makes me want to SCREAM but I smile and get busy with the instantaneous tidying up.

we put up with the eccentricities of our loved ones simply because we love them and want them to enjoy Christmas and family time, if it doesn’t hurt me I will smile and nod.

Id try to put up with it if it didn’t

Calliopespa · 22/09/2025 10:08

SJM1988 · 22/09/2025 10:06

Its a bit odd if they are close by and spend the morning at home. We only take presents places if we are staying Christmas eve, even then we don't take the majority of mine and DHs, just the kids ones.

How many gifts are adults actually getting?😳

DH and I get about 4 each, then the rest would be from extended family who are presumably giving them at the op's anyway.

Calliopespa · 22/09/2025 10:10

BigHouseLittleHouse · 22/09/2025 10:07

It’s bonkers but it’s a family tradition- they obviously love opening the gifts all together so they can have that feeling of excitement and Christmas bustle and chaos.

We have never done this but my dh is the opposite - he literally stands hovering over my children with a black bin bag picking up every scrap of packaging the very second they unwrap something. And scan sometimes be heard to tut loudly and obnoxiously if something flutters down onto the carpet. It makes me want to SCREAM but I smile and get busy with the instantaneous tidying up.

we put up with the eccentricities of our loved ones simply because we love them and want them to enjoy Christmas and family time, if it doesn’t hurt me I will smile and nod.

Id try to put up with it if it didn’t

I mean quite a lot of Christmas is bonkers: crackers, covering gifts in paper only to uncover them again, not to mention a tree in the house.

TheWonderhorse · 22/09/2025 10:14

Oh come on, that's lovely! The best sort of chaos. You are so lucky to have that.

Now, I get that it might not be your ideal Christmas but it's definitely great that your husband and his family are so close.

Perhaps take a day that isn't Christmas Day to do whatever you would like to do?

TheWonderhorse · 22/09/2025 10:14

Oh come on, that's lovely! The best sort of chaos. You are so lucky to have that.

Now, I get that it might not be your ideal Christmas but it's definitely great that your husband and his family are so close.

Perhaps take a day that isn't Christmas Day to do whatever you would like to do?

LameBorzoi · 22/09/2025 10:18

Can't you just ask for them to make sure that the paper is all picked up? It's not that hard!

Calliopespa · 22/09/2025 10:21

LameBorzoi · 22/09/2025 10:18

Can't you just ask for them to make sure that the paper is all picked up? It's not that hard!

That's kind of what I'm thinking .... which leads me to the classic MN thread twist: is this really about the paper op?

FuzzyWolf · 22/09/2025 10:24

I also think it’s quite nice but can see how it’s annoying to you as the host especially if you are already annoyed with them for the content of another thread.

I’d say “we are struggling with the rubbish this year so please take your wrapping home with you to dispose of” and I doubt anyone would complain or think twice about it.

Talipesmum · 22/09/2025 10:26

We used to all do that when I was younger. It was lovely and I loved the communal togetherness of it. It took ages but that was fine! When do they do the present opening? Ours was always after Xmas dinner so everyone could relax and enjoy it. Even now we open most things after Xmas dinner at lunchtime.

These days we tend to open a few in the morning between ourselves, and family does the same, then they bring ones between the wider group plus a few others to the big gathering.

It’s easy enough to ask each group to take a bag of recycling home though.

FartyAnimal · 22/09/2025 10:26

Tell them to do presents at home then.

Calliopespa · 22/09/2025 10:27

FuzzyWolf · 22/09/2025 10:24

I also think it’s quite nice but can see how it’s annoying to you as the host especially if you are already annoyed with them for the content of another thread.

I’d say “we are struggling with the rubbish this year so please take your wrapping home with you to dispose of” and I doubt anyone would complain or think twice about it.

Ah! So what's this other thread?

labamba18 · 22/09/2025 10:32

What about your family? Do they not spend Christmas with you? I think there’s a deeper issue going on. Personally I like opening presents all together