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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel undermined by employer over a baby that’s not mine?

3 replies

SunflowerGerbil · 22/09/2025 01:28

I live with my sister and her family. My sister recently had a third baby. As I live an hours commute from the office, I work from home (WFH) two days per week to combat travel time and expenses. Flexibility is probably the only benefit my employer offers.

I requested to WFH but was told no due to a team meeting, which I fully understand. However, my manager then followed up by asking if I was sure I could “effectively” WFH while my sister and the baby were also at home especially for the first few weeks. I responded reassuringly and said that I assume I would be responsible enough to acknowledge if it doesn’t work and consequently adjust my schedule. She just thumbed up the message, which I do find passive aggressive at the best of times but trying not to read between the lines.

To be honest, this message annoyed me as it feels a bit undermining, as I’ve worked from home before consistently while my sister and my nephew (3) were around, and I’ve always managed to stay productive. The baby also has additional support from a doula, and my nephew now goes to creche five days, so I feel like I’m set up to work effectively.

I can acknowledge her concern as my most recent work produced was poor quality compared to my usual standard. However, I was ill and was sent home from the office due to being too sick, yet my manager still expected me to work remotely (despite not being well enough to sit in the office). My manager is also overwhelmed with her own workload and less present than usual, meaning communication has broken down across our team (and we have that team meeting today to try and effectively address this).

As WFH is one of the only benefits, I will feel resentful if it is removed from me and would look into moving companies as a result.

AIBU? I feel undermined but I could also just be a sensitive millennial.

OP posts:
RabbitsEatPancakes · 22/09/2025 01:36

Newborns can cry a lot and that's quite disruptive. She sent one message and accepted your answer. To have written a massive post about that seems an overreaction.

CallMeFlo · 22/09/2025 01:44

I think she was perfectly reasonable to ask you. Shes acknowledged that you've said it won't interfere with your work

You do seem to ve over reacting though, firstly to the 'passive aggressive' thumbs up. She was acknowledging your answer I cant see how its pa

As WFH is one of the only benefits, I will feel resentful if it is removed from me and would look into moving companies as a result.

Massively jumping the gun. There's nothing to suggest theres going to be any change to your wfh but youre talking about looking for another job

YouCantParkThere · 22/09/2025 01:57

Why did you ask to WFH when there was a team meeting?

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