I became friends with Sally when our first babies were born. We supported eachother a lot and then slowly saw eachother less as life went back to normal after maternity leave. We would still keep in touch a lot and text and would meet up every few months or so sometimes with our toddlers in tow and then as they started school we would meet for a cup of tea without them. Three years ago Sally went through a very traumatic bereavement and I was one of the first people she called on. I was very much there for her during that time along with a very small group of friends and did everything I could to support her through the horrible time. After that initial year after we started to have less contact. I would always suggest meeting up but she was vague or never made real plans. Her texts became less and less and would often reply short answers, she never likes my social media posts but posts on her account daily (i hardly post but other friends seems to always see them and react with a like). She invited a group of friends round the following year to remember the person she lost and I went with another friend even though it was my birthday and I changed my plans as although we werent in contact much, I thought it was the right thing to do.
Fast forward another year, I've seen her once and our text chats have all but stopped really. She's got in touch to invite me on a group chat to another get together to remember her loved one. My family have arranged a big get together on that day (I wasn't part of the organisation) and it clashes with the event. I still feel terrible for Sally but I feel very confused that she has all but disappeared however still wants me to come (which im assuming is because I was also close to that person and I think i remind her of the times we spent altogether). I feel slightly hurt by it all but then I wonder if I am being completely selfish for feeling this way. I also think it's odd that she has invited people to the event that weren't invited the previous year and were not around when the bereavement happened. Can someone help me understand what is going on? I feel very confused about it all.