At what age do you let kids free in a playground where you can’t always see them ?

[rubyco]

I was in a busy playground today with both my kids. They’re 5 and a half and 3 and a half.

I loathe going to playgrounds like this with them ( on my own ). Very busy, lots of things to climb on where you can’t see them etc.

this summer I took my DD who is 5 to a large softplay ( my DS stayed home ) and for the first time ever I let her roam around a big softplay alone with her friends. I just stayed near the exit and kept an eye.

I just absolutely hate when I can’t see her / them. My little one still needs a constant eye, but am I being OTT with my 5 and a half year old year 1 DD ?

the playground was huge today. Lots of people, many areas etc.

when did you start letting it go a bit ? Letting her free in a massive softplay was a big step for me.

my kids are NT.

I’m not sure what age, inside I think it was probably 5ish when they were happy to be away from me, outside at a big public play park is different in my
opinion. It’s one of those things you just need to judge for yourself rather than there being a right or wrong

I definitely would want to be able to see them at all times in a large busy park. The soft play would be fine as I could sit and watch and would know if they tried to leave. Plus you don't get weirdos loitering in soft play the way you can do with parks.

Yeah it had this big play house thing and they’d both run in there and I couldn’t really see them. It had two exists, so I didn’t always know which one they’d come out of, or one would come out of one exit and the other exits. Or they’d use the stairs or ladders. It was very stressful. Keeping a close eye on one is one thing, but two is so stressful.

I think soft play is different to a big playground, DD would go off in the soft play from 4 but I’d keep an eye on her at all times in a playground now at 6.

Soft play is different because you can stay in view of the door so you know they can't go anywhere - you also catch glimpse of them as they run around.

Large busy park? not even at 7 😂
I just followed to always have an eye on them, from "far" but never out of sight completely.

You don't get to sit down with kids most of the time, sadly

Unless at a smaller softplay maybe. Haha

You physically can't do this with three kids though.

I would just be watching exits (actually playground exits not the playhouse ones) at the age of your older ones, OP, and giving them a bit of freedom.

An open playground on a park with lots of people, I don’t take my eyes off my just 9 year old and tend to dress him in bright colours so I can see them.

A quieter play ground with one exit he gets more freedom but I tend to keep him in view tbh.

Soft play easily 3-4 for my son as he’s mega confident but always comes to find me with an issue. Feels safe to me as they can’t leave the enclosure.

playground - again he’s 4 and as long as I can see him intermittently I’m fine

She doesn’t have 3 kids though

Very dependent on location, for instance when mine were tiny we lived in a village, knew all the other kids and they used to play in bushes that had hollowed out underneath, you can’t see them but there were other kids there who were older and the big ones automatically looked out for younger ones, only gate was in corner (benches for parents between bushes and gate), from 3&5 they regularly played there. I’d be more cautious at the huge city playground a few miles away, hundreds of kids and on common land without fencing

Interesting that you say soft play feels safe as he can’t leave but outdoor playground is fine anyway as long as you see him every so often. What if he leaves? Or is taken?

Large playground, probably 8, I’d have to be confident they knew not to leave the play area. Soft play, 5.

Soft play about 3, obviously checking on them regularly the younger they were.

I wouldn’t leave my eldest alone at a park though and they are 6. It is hard when you are trying to watch 2 kids of different ages at a park especially if it’s busy/ spread apart.

Edited to add it does depend which soft play, most of the ones near me you can almost always see them and I would sit near the exit. There is one near me where I’ve only just let my 6 year old go off alone as it’s big, always busy and has 2 different exits. I check on them very regularly when at this one.

He wouldn’t leave.

I agree taken is a possibility but pretty unlikely. I think with lots of parents around it would hard for a weirdo to go into a playground and convince my son to go with them, he’s pretty street smart. He would be shouting and causing a lot of fuss. I would then be looking up from feeding the baby or chasing the toddler and notice. Tbh having eyes locked on him every second of the day anywhere is impossible for me with 3 kids 4 and under

Soft play I let my kid wander around by herself and have done for a few months now (she’s just turned 4) I do keep an eye from down below and if I don’t see her emerge where I think she should be I wander around and make sure she is there. I also keep an eye to make sure there are no disputes and she is playing nicely with others. As someone else said it is safer than a playground as it’s enclosed so no one wandering in or out.

I am always within eyesight in a playground. There was a post on the local community page about a convicted sex offender in the local playground a few weeks back (a photo shared where he is literally been run out of there) and another person posted about a man behaving suspiciously and following her and her kid afterwards - two different men - the world is too scary to leave them out of sight until they are a big bigger. Both instances apparently have been reported to the police.

Stupid logic! Bad things can and do happen, it’s unlikely for everyone but far more likely for you if you aren’t watching your kid. Remember the 3 year old kidnapped from a shopping centre and murdered?

Okay we’re going to have to agree to disagree. I can see you’re getting very passionate so I’ll be bowing out!

I did it today, I live in a big city and we have two big busy parks. Mine are 5.5 - we have a system where if they come off one thing and want to go on something else they have to come and high-five me first (just a way to keep them checking in!)

I can mostly keep an eye on them but there’s huge structures and tunnels / slides etc. But this works well for us :) I think it’s good to give them that shred of independence with it too.

Soft play, about 4ish.
A large park, my DCs are 12, 10 and 8 and I still make sure I keep an eye on all of them. I'm lucky that they tend to stick together, but I won't read or go on my phone while they're playing. I just enjoy the sit down!

Soft play is very different because the entry and exits are controlled. And surely the hope is when you go there the kids go off and you can have a quiet coffee rather than throw yourself through climbing structures designed for small kids looking like a complete wally 🤣

Our local park is a stress. It often gets mentioned on the what to do with kids in London type threads, so it’s massive, busy busy with multiple exists and I was only comfortable letting my eldest go off from about 7 but she’s very sensible and knows the layout well because we’re local. Younger than that no way though. At only 5.5 I would want to have pretty consistent eyes on them.

Once I had my second, I had to be more relaxed about my first e.g. if I was sitting feeding DC2 I would let DC1 run around the playground. I'd keep an eye on her but couldn't keep her in constant sight e.g. she'd run round to climb up a different bit. She would have been 4ish.

DC2 is 6 now. I let him run around knowing where we are to come back to, and have for a year or so. I will check every few minutes that I can see him.

Not surprised. ‘Oh yeah my 3 year old getting kidnapped when I’m not watching him is possible but unlikely’ it’s an unusual bar to set but we’re all different. Good luck to your kids, hopefully you stick to small parks.

I simply wouldn't go to a place like Diana's playground with 3 young kids. If I can't keep an eye on them all, it's too big, too busy, too easy to get out from every corner if you really want to, no way would I leave them out of my sight.