Should we be calling out low level bad etiquette in public?

[Chaosclassic]

I don’t like conflict and when low level stuff happens I just think ‘what a twat’ in my head and move on.

But today I am wondering should we be calling low level poor etiquette stuff out? Otherwise how will anything change.

If so what are polite and direct ways to pick people up on this and move on?

A man in the local town market let his dog do a massive shit right near a bread stall and started to walk off so my husband asked if he was just going to leave it there. The man acted as if he hadn't noticed and did actually clean it up (although he had stopped to let the dog do said massive shit)

Another one..a man about my husband's age grabbed the unlocked trolley my husband was about to grab and was flippant when my husband pointed out he was about to take it so my husband just loudly called him a cock (as the man walked pretending to not hear him)

I don't see the point at all. When you "call someone out" or do something passive aggressive 99% of the time the other person will just think you are a twat and it will do nothing to change their behaviour. I think people just do this for their own ego.

My lovely cousin eats off / licks his knife.
I think that’s low grade bad etiquette.

I find it disconcerting so what can I sweetly and quietly say to him to put a stop to it?

Would talking while eating or chewing loudly also count as low grade bad etiquette?

I suggest a Paddington stare at rude, inconsiderate people - if you can.

This

It impolite to point out other people’s poor manners. Except when it comes to your own children, even when they’re adults.

If the person has not realisd they are being rude e.g. leaving a newspaper on the train they will just stare back. I know that when anyone attempts to stare at me I try to outstare them. This can go on for ages.

I think we should, things like playing TikTok on loud or watching a film without headphones (recently experienced) in a hospital A&E waiting room or putting feet on seats on public transport are all bad manners and IMO socially unacceptable. Would I call people out? I have called kids or women out but would I call a big teenager or young man with a hood up and big pockets out? No, because the risk of harm is higher.

I think it should be called out but admit I'm often too chicken. Sometimes people are so caught up in themselves they genuinely don't notice what they are doing and young people lack experience, so to some extent calling it out politely would be helping people. Sometimes people are just being assholes. Unfortunately if the asshole behaviour is unchecked it becomes more prevalent then we end up with rude social norms.

One example - listening to your phone without headphones in public. If cafe and train stations etc had signs asking people not to do this, the majority would stop. Some don't care but it would enable others to ask them to stop. Some still wouldn't care and persist but they are the minority. I don't understand why cafes don't do this more, especially when people often avoid cafes for this reason, it would be better for their business. They dont have to be aggressive just a polite notice. My gym has a no phone sign except for listening to music. People taking selfies or making calls are usually asked to stop immediately and it's no big deal. All because of signs, they empower people to call it out.

Someone litters? Say ‘excuse me I think you dropped something’.

Yes call it out, but culturally I don’t find it the done thing in the UK.

That doesn't directly affect you though so where's the harm?

I am always happy to find a paper, not rude in the least!

Littering and spitting should be called out. And I do. I take a quick stabbing / punching risk assessment before I say anything though. I'm a fast runner though, just in case.

I tell non thuggish teens to stop dribbling (babies dribble, young men don't!).

And tell smokers that they've missed the ashtray when they drop cigarette litter on the floor. They are almost always really scummy and don't care. So I call them a twat under my breath, flounce down and scoop up their litter with a tissue and bin it. Then email their office / pub, community police and the council so they crack down on them. Again, I can easily out run a smoker so I'm probably OK here.

I have no time for common, PassAgg "you're welcome!" nonsense if someone forgets to hold open a door. I always hold doors but don't get stressed if other people don't. (This was cathartic 😳)

So you want to call out people who don't do it your way?

I’m really curious about the actual risk of being punched for saying something to someone. Is it real? I cannot imagine being afraid to say something because of physical danger.
I definitely let things go because I don’t want to get into a “back and forth” verbally with people though

Oh god it's nice if people hold the door for you or if they say thank you if you wait for them to pass but I really don't think you need to go all passive aggressive or call them out if they don't. If you've chosen to wait for them to pass then that's up to you, and nobody purposely closes a door in your face.

Playing music in public places or littering though are completely different IMO.

Isn’t that what tutting and eye rolling and sighing loudly is for?

Im genuinely puzzled by this. What age group does “calling out” apply to? Please explain!

OP this is what passive aggressive comments like “you’re welcome!” and “no, after you!” are for!

Is dropping litter “not doing it your way”? Letting the door swing in your face? Failing to say thank you if they swan through a door you’re holding? Spitting? Not queuing, perhaps? All reasonable personal preferences?

Wow wasn’t expecting this to have a resurrection today. Is the behaviour out there declining further!?

and nobody purposely closes a door in your face.

No literally that is what happened. Complete slow closing with eye contact. Not malicious eye contact. Quite blank face but looking . So it was either malicious/ rude with a somehow blaise facial expression, or they didn’t have enough brain cells to realise you are supposed to hold the door / didn’t understand the etiquette.