Should I contact him or not

[AmyJahabee]

I have known this guy for over 10 years during university. After uni we both moved on with life . I have always fancied him. He contacted me 5 years ago asking about how I was where I am and that he was gutted we lost contact after university, and want to meet up for a catch up.. I said yes that would be brilliant but at the time I just had a baby with my ex. So never get to meet him.. now I would like to meet him and catch up but don’t know what is his relationship status currently. It would be my dream to have a relationship with him.

What should I ask about when I message my crush after a long time? I feel he also did have a crush on me but we was both in a relationship during university.
we are friends on social media and do like each other’s posts but I want to know if he is single and possibly ask for us to catch up? I only intend to meet if he is single

if he is single should I tell him how I feel. He is perfect guy in my eyes 😂 and I’m not too bothered about been embarrassed about it really

This makes no sense. You say you only intend to meet if he is single, but would be happy with just friendship? I think you're overinvested in someone you don't even know as an adult.

We was adult when we met at university

Why would you not just comment under his posts something like,

Hi Geoff, What are you up to nowadays? Where has life taken you?

It seem very weird that you expect him to be the same person after all these years when everyone changes with age and circumstances.

Message him on SM. Say you're sorry you didn't get to meet x years ago but you were busy with PFB but now s/he's older and you're single again you'd love to meet up. Hopefully, then meet up and see if the reality matches the fantasy. Don't be more overt than that until you've checked out him and his relationship status! Be prepared to accept he may be taken even if he is wonderful but good luck!

How long were you actually friends (rather than FB friends?)

Friends for 3years.. we are friends on linked in not FB

I met my husband and then chased him up. Due to circumstances, he would never have come after me.

Nothing ventured and all that.

Why don’t you add him on Facebook and chat to him.

I feel he may not ask to meet again as the last we talk about it I explained I had a baby was married and the rest.. so he possibly thinks my status is still the same

He’s been a friend for a decade so presumably he will accept your request and enter into some polite small talk which gives you the opportunity to tell him you are single and willing to embarrass yourself over him

Don't tell him how you feel. You don't know how you feel because you haven't seen him for so long. I would just start a conversation somewhere online and swap news for a bit. See what happens.

If you don’t ask, you’ll never know. You don’t have to lay your heart on the table. Just how are you, what are you up to, would be nice to meet up if you’re free. What’s the worst that can happen? If he’s in a relationship, you can put the crush to bed (not literally 😁) and move on.

So you've not actually seen him for 7 years - as PP say you don't know if you want to be with him or not! No harm in getting in touch to catch up but stop building it up in your head before youve got to know each other again^^

Just message him with a breezy 'how are you, how's life treating you'? kind of message - if he replies, he'll probably say I'm married, got 2 kids etc if he is.

Still haven’t send the message feel a bit weird. Can someone script a message I can send.. light how’s life but also something to keep the conversation flowing.. I have recently started a new role while his career is progressing so can use that also as a topic

How about hey, how are things with you? What are you up to these days? I've just started a new role doing xxx, which is pretty exciting. All the best, Amy.

How old do you think people are when they go to university? 4?

Yes, definitely 4 🤦

gently op, you’re looking at your memories through rose tinted glasses. If he was so amazing and you are comptable why did you not get together during uni when you actually knew each other? You have no idea what he is like now yet you are adamant you’d like a relationship with him.