Social services involved supervised contact with sons dad.

[Leabee1234]

Update to below. Hi so i posted the below thread recently. I still believe these allegations are false. Its never ending. Its been a year and now bail has been extended to the new year. Because of more allegations. I have allowed supervised contact but now the bail condition has changed to 'supervised contact with social workers agreement on any supervisors' please can you advise how this will work? I just feel like i dont want anyvmore involvement in this its such a huge mess and taking a massive toll on my mental health. I cant maintain the supervised contact and now social workers will be on my cas even more. I have been fair for a year. I just want my child and myself out of this mess.My childs father who i am not in a relationship with is having several allegations made against him by his older child's mother for child abuse. Me and my childs dad have a 2 year old son and have never seen eye to eye but have always been civil for our child and our child adores him. For the last year his older childs mother has made constant allegations of child abuse and I have had to do supervised contact for a year because of it. He has been on bail repeatedly for them to investigate and he was due to end bail this month. I had a social worker visit me and my son the end of last year and they knew he was happy and safe so NFA'd it. Now I have had a call saying something sensitive had been reported again and he needs to be checked on. I have stuck to what they've said and allowed supervised contact but I truly believe this woman is lying. She has lied many times in the past and has a record of her vindictive controlling behaviour however she keeps reporting and even though he hasnt been able to see his older child throughout this for a year she has now reported something new so this is going to continue. She has no evidence of any claims she is making but I truly believe she may be making her older child say things and this is why a year later something new has happened. My sons dad has always been a part of his life and he has always been very good with him, ive never seen any cause of concern and I see how much my son loves him.However the situation with his siblings mother is never ending and it's really now affecting me mentally that social services are involved again and that this will continue. I dont know whether to stop supervised contact until this is all over which i dont know how it will end as she doesn't stop. She also harassed me and was awful to me when I was pregnant.I feel so conflicted as I just want to be out of this situation and stop contact completely but my son loves him and I really truly feel there is an injustice here because I truly believe her claims are false and its sickening. She wants to destroy this man's life and its hard to watch knowing its my childs father.If these claims were false would they be able to prove this ? I have cried allvmorning as I thought it was almost over and now its happening all over again. I just feel so sorry for my child

If police are still investigating then they DO have evidence. If she was lying/the child was lying then police wouldn't still be investigating. It's pretty difficult to get a child's evidence to stand up with the CPS and if police haven't dropped it after the recorded interview that means the child is convincing and/or they have independent evidence such as medical records. The change of bail conditions doesn't mean that there will be any changes to who supervises contact. Is there a social worker allocated now? If not they will probably just give you a call to check you're still supervising it.

I want social services extensively involved in this utter shit show for as long as possible

I just feel like i dont want anyvmore involvement in this its such a huge mess and taking a massive toll on my mental health

for the sake of your child, do this. Don’t have any more involvement

I know it's grim but abusers will frequently only target one victim at a time in order to remain believable so the fact that you have seen no issues yourself is no real proof that nothing has happened.

Lots of women have been called crazy and vindictive exes just for trying to protect their children, you may be right about her (you haven't given us examples of her bad behaviour you have witnessed) but it's also possible it's more complicated then that and you are only getting one side of the story.

Until you know which I do think it's a good idea to disengage with the ex and social services until it's all sorted out. Would it be easier to arrange a video call between ds and the ex twice a week instead?

I agree with pp that it's seems likely there may be something to the accusations considering how seriously the authorities are taking it. I assume you are getting most of your information from your ex? So he's not likely to tell the whole truth if he has done something wrong is he?

There was a social worker involved previously but they NFA'd the case as they saw my son was safe and no further action was needed. There is now another new social worker being allocated who are due to contact me this week. They said now they need ti approve any supervised contact so im assuming reviews and checks will need doing on who is supervising. Its just never ending and im fed up of it. I want us out of this mess

I just feel for my child so much as he loves his dad so much they have a bond and ive never had any doubts or any concerns . They have had a very toxic relationship in the past she has been caught lying many times in the past she wants him out of the children's lives

Surely your child’s safety is the priority. There’s an ongoing investigation so supervised contacts are the only way forward unless you stop contact completely.

Yes its been supervised for a year now. But doesn't seem to end . Its stressful

It won’t end OP until multi agencies have faith in you being allowed to be alone with your child.

it would seem they have become increasingly concerned rather than less. If you don’t think your mental health can handle it, tell them, and step away from your child until you’re stronger

It’s not the OP who needs supervised contact. It’s her ex partner.

My mistake

although on the basis of the OP, I think broader SS involvement would be beneficial

What specifically are you struggling with?

It appears you want your DC to have a relationship with their dad?

Are you supervising contact or someone else?
Can you use a contact centre?

If you share what's stressing you out maybe someone will have some ideas.

You what now?!