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Original poster

For being depressed at time passing?

32 replies

GrumpyCowBag · 20/09/2025 23:21

I know I am being unreasonable but couldn’t think where else to put this.

I am 44 and recently I can feel really quite depressed at the thought of life disappearing. Life seems to pass so much faster now. My kids are adults, my parents are getting older. And I find it depressing time is running out for my parents and then it’ll be us.

I really have to try and distract myself when my mind starts spiralling as I can get really upset about it.

And then I start telling myself how lucky I am. My parents are still here in their 70s. I’ve made it much further than people who have died a lot younger than me. So I do completely appreciate how lucky I am. I just feel so sad if I think about how fast time is passing us by.

Of course is doesn’t help that all of a sudden I look so much older! Wrinkles everywhere, grey hair, loose skin, sagginess. I promise I’m not a shallow person but it’s all just adding to the feeling that time is running out.

Am I alone? Does anyone else feel this?

Please give me a reality check!

OP posts:
Disturbia81 · 21/09/2025 10:12

ladybirdsanchez · 21/09/2025 10:05

This is what is called a midlife crisis OP - that realisation that life is finite, that we will all die, that the people we love will die, that life is always changing and often not for the better. What's interesting is that studies show that the most contented people tend to be older, so I assume that we all, at some point, make our peace with this depressing fact and just live for today, because none of us knows how long we have and it's better to really live our lives while we have them, than mope around because we aren't going to live forever.

Edited to say: 44 is really not old! I'm 51 and when I read your age I thought 'Pfft! You're still young!' Seriously, don't dwell on this, no good can come of it. Make the best of the life you have, you're probably only halfway through and have plenty more great years ahead of you.

Edited

Yep she’s still very young. And you’re right, the smilest people I see are elderly.. they seem to be so at peace with it all.

DysmalRadius · 21/09/2025 10:13

WilfredsPies · 20/09/2025 23:31

You’re not being unreasonable for it to play on your mind, but that way madness lies. You have to make a concerted effort to think of something positive every time it creeps into your mind. If you’re noticing wrinkles etc now, remind yourself that in ten years time, you’ll be wishing you could look like this again. If the year is going by too fast, then make an effort to enjoy every bit of it. Adjust your priorities, sod the housework and spend time with your parents and/or your DC. Work your way through a bucket list while you’re still young enough and fit enough to enjoy it.

ETA - I think this might be my last year with my mum. I don’t know how I’m going to cope without her. I want to make sure that I know who she is as a person and learn everything I can from her, while I still can. I’m going to enjoy the time I have left with her.

Edited

Sorry about your mum and this is not an ad but we have used a site called Storyworth as a prompt for some really interesting conversations about life and the little details that really shine a light into who a person is.

Undermyheatedblanket · 21/09/2025 10:16

I am the same, it really hits me hard at times.

I'm 52. My MIL died a few years ago, my mum has advanced dementia and I am losing her day by day, my children are older teens and doing their own thing. I long to go back just 8 years or so when everyone was younger, no one was unwell and my kids were still kids.

I feel old and quite bereft over it all if I am honest.

Disturbia81 · 21/09/2025 13:20

Undermyheatedblanket · 21/09/2025 10:16

I am the same, it really hits me hard at times.

I'm 52. My MIL died a few years ago, my mum has advanced dementia and I am losing her day by day, my children are older teens and doing their own thing. I long to go back just 8 years or so when everyone was younger, no one was unwell and my kids were still kids.

I feel old and quite bereft over it all if I am honest.

Edited

You’re 52, a lot of life to live yet!

MrsSkylerWhite · 21/09/2025 13:20

Femalefootyfan · 20/09/2025 23:36

I’m 61 and definitely feel like time is passing too quickly. Both me and DH have lost our dads and while we’re still lucky to have our DM’s they’re both 83 and we’ve also been to 3 funerals of extended family already this year, it does make us think about our own mortality.
All of this makes me think just live life, take the experiences we can fortunately afford to do and enjoy life whilst we’re healthy enough to do so, while still knowing we’re leaving enough financially for our DC’s to benefit.

Same.

Undermyheatedblanket · 21/09/2025 14:59

Disturbia81 · 21/09/2025 13:20

You’re 52, a lot of life to live yet!

Show quote history

I have chronic health issues and care for my mum who has advanced dementia - it really does not feel like it right now.

Disturbia81 · 21/09/2025 15:05

Undermyheatedblanket · 21/09/2025 14:59

I have chronic health issues and care for my mum who has advanced dementia - it really does not feel like it right now.

Show quote history

Sorry to hear that 💐 I cared for both parents and brother at their ends so I know where you’re at. A horrific kind of limbo.

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