Presents

[Lynsey953]

Is it weird to think that parents should incharge of when children get big birthday presents? For example, bikes, iPads, computers etc ...

I was definitely brought up in a family where these types of presents were from my parents and grandparents and extended family bought smaller presents (or there was a discussion about it with my parents) but is this weird?

I suppose every family is different but looking for different opinions 😊.

The first sentence doesn’t make sense so I don’t really get it, what did you mean to say there OP?

I don’t know what you mean either but I once went to a birthday party where a guest bought a bike as a present and I thought it was really presumptive.

Poster said shouldn’t parents be in charge of big presents, not grandparents. Bikes etc. Answer is yes, parents should

That’s how it happens in our family, we buy the ‘main/big’ present and grandparents smaller (less expensive) presents,
sometimes to compliment what we’ve bought, eg we buy a games console and they buy a game. but I know of lots of other families where grandparents buy the big ticket items.
Suppose it’s all just different really isn’t it, my mum has 7 grandchildren and mil has 9, that’s a lot of children to splash out on ‘big presents’ for! To be fair my mum spends an awful lot on our kids still, mil a more conservative amount.

Sorry! Sleep deprived.

I want to know people's opinions on who should be in charge of buying the big gifts for kids. Bikes, iPads, phones etc ...

Should it be the parents or does it not matter?

I was brought up with this being my parents decision but I'm now experiencing that this isn't always the case and I'm finding it difficult navigating being grateful and also having boundaries.

Grandparents buy bit items for my kids, I can’t always afford the big item so I see it as a bonus. However they always ask if it’s ok first to make sure they don’t step on my toes.

I always discuss with my sons / dils’ what I should buy, there has been the odd occasion when I’ve asked if I could get something special, I bought my GD a dolls house for example. Or I give money towards bigger presents like an iPad

My kids get most 'big' items from their grandparents but there's always a discussion about it 1st.

The only thing that should be an absolute is that it's discussed with the parents first.

Who buys what doesn't really matter, the communication and agreement does matter.

Is it unreasonable to ask that there be a discussion with ourselves (the parents) and the grandparents if the present is going to be a bigger one?

No not at all!

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect them to talk to you first. My in-laws bought my dd a kitchen for Christmas and so did we one year. Dd was excited to open them both so that was good and we took in-laws kitchen to her playgroup in January so it all worked out in the end but it was an avoidable situation.