In thinking this 'sorry' butters no parsnips?

[SadPanda]

Friday before last I had my annual aclasta dose to treat my early osteoporosis. At one point the nurse said something about a slight reduction in kidney function from last time, but it was said in the middle of a lot of other information and it didn't register as she quickly moved on to other stuff.

That evening I looked at my online journal for something else and saw 'new' on the diagnosis tab. Clicked on it and it said 'stage 2 kidney failure'. WTAF? So I checked the notes for the appointment and she'd put 'stage 2 kidney failure, patient informed'.

I was beside myself with worry. I hadn't registered the seriousness of what she was saying and had asked nothing. Bearing in mind I'm currently being treated for breast cancer and am already at breaking point.

I managed to get through to the surgery on Monday and a nurse explained a bit about what it meant and tried to calm me. She booked a callback from the dr for Friday to get all my questions properly answered.

So I spent the week genuinely thinking I was dying. That this is another complication of my breast cancer. And basically crying all over the place.

The dr rang up and pretty much said 'Oops, sorry, we fucked up. Ran your results through the wrong tool. You don't have kidney failure, your kidneys are fine. Sorry about that'.

Obviously I'm pleased to find out I'm not dying. But still, sorry just doesnt butter the parsnips.

AIBU?

Either way, humans make mistakes. Of course it's horrible to think you're unwell when you're not, but at least it wasn't the other way around.

What else should they do?

Mistakes happen, but there’s a difference between a genuine, sincere apology and the “whoops! oh well” type.

Hello! I had end stage kidney failure! You would been classed as Stage 2 kidney DISEASE, not failure, so I think there’s a chance you might have made a mistake also…

And a very quick google tells you that means ‘good function, mild reduction’

I appreciate that you are going through a lot health wise, and that any new things that pop up can feel cataclysmic, but I’d just feel bloody relieved that all was well.

Identify flaws in the process and address them so it doesn’t happen again!!??

it baffles me that people accept shit service from the NHS. Not all but some of the problems with the nhs is due to tolerance of incompetence

I understand your feelings entirely OP. You’re just in shock because you saw the words ‘stage 2 kidney failure’ and this would alarm most people tbh particularly as you are being treated for breast cancer and also have osteoporosis. I would have been upset too. You’ve made it clear that you’re expressing your emotions rather than wanting compensation of some sort which is understandable.

It’s clearly Mrs Patmore asking for advice here.

This. And while it's true that medics are only human, so too is the OP. A human dealing with serious illness and had to endure 4 days of extra stress.

I totally sympathise and understand OP, the casual "slight reduction in function" as if a small change but still nothing to worry about then to be greeted by "Stage 2 kidney failure, patient informed" - well hardly!
Glad it's a mistake and hope your breast cancer treatment is successful and you can have a break from constant health worries.

You poor thing. It’s reignited the trauma from the cancer diagnosis, and thrown you completely. A ‘oops sorry’ is in no way adequate to console you right now. What you needs support and care to help you through a horrible shock that manifested your worst fears. I get it.

have you had any counselling to help with the trauma of having/living with cancer? I think it would really help.

That's odd because usually kidney problems are no longer called kidney failure but rather kidney disease. [CKD]

Even so it sounds like it was a bit of a shock OP.

Hope you've been able to look at all the stages so that you can understand more about any potential impact.

I’m really sorry you had this week of worry. Must have been horrible. I am also grateful to you for reminding me of the expression ‘butters no parsnips’. I am determined to use it within the next few days

I'm seeing a therapist at the breast clinic. I have my next appointment on Monday. I definitely need it.

@saveforthat

Wow. This is one of the most unfeeling, unempathetic posts I have ever seen on Mnet.

@SadPanda i am so sorry this happened to you. Good luck for your cancer treatment. 💐.

Really? You've not been here very long then.

Interesting that the general view seems to be "well, what else could they do?" but I'd be looking for a proper explanation of how the mistake happened. Someone typed in someone else's test result? Have they been rerimanded?Retrained? Has this happened before? Did they click the wrong box? Why could they do that? Of course I'd accept their apology, but I would want my parsnips buttered with more explanation.

I am sorry you have cancer and related health problems, sending the best wishes to you for recovery.

I think I’d be more frustrated at the nurse casually mentioning lower kidney function then it being down as diagnosed kidney failure, what a terrible way to share information.

I’m glad you’re ok on the kidney front though.

Sorry, absolutely love the title of this thread and I’m also a huge fan of Joe Lycett!

it’s absolutely not acceptable for them to brush over their mistake and the hours of worry that it has caused you. I would be loading with PALS and asking them to acknowledge in writing the distress it caused you.
sorry this happened to you

I would feel similarly, it’s an awful mistake to make in the amount of worry it’s caused you. I think I would take comfort in the fact that they said you have something you don’t, instead of the “wrong tool” saying you don’t have something you do have. A flippant sorry won’t make up for the time and stress spent fearing for your life, but I would try to really welcome in feelings of relief to help displace the (understandable) anger and upset

I think there's a difference between 'sorry' when trying to avoid a complaint (dismissive and glossing over) and a genuine apology where the patient feels acknowledged. Often they're so desperate to avoid the hassle of a complaint, hassle and possible escalation that they minimise, which for most patients makes them feel worse.

That hollow feeling you're getting where sorry doesn't feel 'enough' doesn't mean you want compensation, it just means the apology likely had other motives ('don't admit liability!').

I do think patients should be dealt with in a professional manner and I would expect written confirmation an error had been made and an assurance that procedures had been tightened to prevent it happening as gain. Let’s face it if it was a bank you would get that +£35 or a B bunch of flowers.