Would you move counties for a better secondary school?

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We live in the north of England. Have a wonderful lifestyle: comfortable, a house overlooking fields with a sea view, lots of outdoor adventures etc.

The only big problem that concerns me is a local secondary school. The catchment is 15 miles around, so no other option even in theory. It has reputation of having problems with behaviour. All results are below average both for local authority and England: progress 8 score below average, 35% Grade 5 or above in English & maths GCSEs etc.

The opinion of the parents with whom are talked to are that good kids stay with their circle of friends and are out of trouble and are doing fine in that school.

My daughter is in Year 3 and is meeting expectations in everything, have the ability to progress to ‘exceed expectations” but don’t see the point and overall consider studying and school boring. Have a close circle of friends, but would not call her a social magnet.

We put lots of effort in her: she has lots of extracurricular; museums, theatres, reading, national trusts, book festivals, you name it, pretty much every weekend without failure. We do reading, maths, music every day.

So I am torn between whether to stay as it is and hope it will be OK or move for a better secondary school but removing my daughter from her familiar social circle which I am not sure she would be able to rebuild.

So whether AIBU for wanting to move to a better secondary school?

And if move, then where? We don’t have family ties, mostly remote jobs with occasional trips to London, budget is up to 700k, we love countryside/outdours. Don’t really have a circle of friends around (another issue), just parents from school.

Currently my favourite is Durham. Love Yorkshire, but not sure whether DD would get into a grammar school. Any advice appreciated.

We specifically purchased our home for the secondary school. I have a bright, well behaved child that plenty of people say would have been fine anywhere. She also had low-support needs ASD. didn’t want her to be fine, I wanted her to be able to excel.

Her school helps her be her best. They offer her challenging coursework. They are also responsive to the needs of students with ND, even the more “mild” varieties. Not all schools are able to devote resources to every child. They have to save what they have for the children who are significantly behind and struggling because there are so many children struggling. It’s a completely different kind of school when the question asked is your child at their personal best level, not just is your child meeting the minimum standards.

TBH Durham Johnston is just what I got after googling 'top secondary state schools north east' and removing Newcastle/York schools. Been in Durham once, got driving at side streets around the school to get the feel.

I don't think my daughter has SEN. Also don't think that her current primary school brings best in her. The school was rated 'Outstanding' ten years ago, but feels 'OK' at best, at least when looking from the point of view of a child in the middle without SEN.

I am laughing at myself at how naive I was a couple of years ago that it would be all very straightforward with bringing motivation, learning and so on in kids - just do lots of things, have lots of resources and be motivated yourself and then your child will lean towards it. It does (sort of) work but at a much higher cost of time, energy and money that I've ever thought.

I live near DJ and have teacher friends. All say that a bright, engaged child will do equally well at DJ, Framwellgate and St Leonards although DJ obviously has the top reputation. F a bit gentler socially and pastorally. My own dc are still early primary so I don't have direct experience.

700k would buy you almost anything in Durham and it's a nice place to live, but you would indeed need to be fairly central for catchment.

Choosing extracurricular activities in a semi-rural area isn’t difficult, simply because the options are limited. E.g.,, there's one piano teacher within a 10-mile radius, you either like her or you don’t.
I’ve found the idea from Emily Oster’s book The Family Firm really helpful: think about three qualities, skills, or values you’d like your child to have by the time they turn 18, and then work backwards from there.
One of mine is “a healthy lifestyle.” We do spend most weekends outdoors. But I also don’t care a lot progression in sports. Competitive achievement has never been one of my goals for her.

I also came across a useful suggestion on Mumsnet: create an “extracurricular weekend” plan by simply taking the school curriculum and seeing what’s available nearby that connects to it. It does focus things.

I know from friends the behaviour at both of those other Durham schools and wouldn't send my child to either.

Not sure whether I'm misunderstanding your post, but don't rule out Yorkshire on the grounds of grammar school selection. For example, only three of North Yorkshire's 78 secondary schools are selective grammars. Many retain the Grammar name, but are now non-selective comprehensive schools. As with all parts of the country you need to research specific areas' admissions policies - Harrogate for example has a non-standard approach. But plenty of good non-selective schools across the county.

Yes, we moved 200 miles to get out of an area in the SE with awful secondary schools to the North where there is a lot more choice of good schools.

Part of me is certain that the move is what’s in the best interests of everyone. The other part is clinging to familiarity and charm of a small town where everything and everyone is familiar. Also listening to the talks of other parents saying that “it will be fine as they will stick to their friendship groups, it is not that bad, a new trust will improve it soon.”
Starting to feel for my daughter as making a new circle of friends might not be that easy for her. The current ones are all from nursery going in the same class.

No, I knew we were probably around a mile too far out. We had been trying to move nearer and actually found a house and had offer accepted but it all fell through. I’m glad now though as I think the school we ended up at was a better fit for DS as it’s a much smaller school (650 ish pupils v over 2000). I was surprised we didn’t get any of choices though.

I agree, very few good schools in Durham!

Keep in mind that Oxbridge view GCSE grades relative to the historical achievement of the school, so attending a top state school can be a disadvantage in that sense.
And before you go private you should know that a lot of excellent programs are only for state school students, and some are only for students who have never been to private.
E.g. Nuffield research placement, big bang fair, Sutton Trust, COMPOS (£100/month for fee-paying school students but free for state students)

I think you'll find that, curriculum wise, there is no secret sauce at the top schools. If you use something like Beast Academy for maths supplementation, she'll be far ahead of the average even at strong schools.

The Hexham and Morpeth schools have a great reputation. But also 700K will easily get you a house in Nevilles Cross/North End/Merryoaks in Durham with spare change, and DJ undoubtedly offers what you are looking for. We moved from the South to Durham when our kids were older than your daughter and it worked out. Durham is a nice safe walkable town and my kids had happy teenage years there. They went to DJ and I can't recommend it enough. The longer you leave it the greater the impact on your daughter, but she is so young I wouldn't overly worry about moving her. Look for housing off the A167 corridor from Merryoaks to Whitesmocks and you can't go wrong. Also you need to either now come to a point of feeling okay about the next school (it's true that a good peer group and support from home is probably more than enough) or take the plunge soon to minimize the impact on your daughter.

Personally I would not be pressuring a y3 child academically. Remember a lot of learning at this stage comes from play.
As a teacher in a secondary school I would advise you not to make a decision about a secondary choice without having visited. You can go yo open evenings but also are encourage to request a visit during thr school day, see it in action. School who, on paper, appear to be achieving below average are always striving to improve and that drive frequently influences children. A school on the way up is a good place to be. Many schools considered outstanding over time, can be coasting and riding on an out of date judgement.
If you move and your child feels isolated and you are less happy your child won't be able to learn.

We were in a very similar position. Countryside house that we loved - beautiful place to live. Two closest secondaries not an option (poor results and ofsteds etc) and private just too expensive.

After a lot of thought we’ve just moved into Durham Johnston catchment. It’s very different living in Durham although it’s lovely and child has made new friends and joined local clubs. Also I think a secondary school child will benefit being closer to amenities and friends which wouldn’t have been the case where we lived. So to me it’s worth the move. And you can always move back to the countryside in another 10 years.

Its worth noting the catchment area for schools will theoretically increase as the birth rates are much lower than pre 2012. So Durham Johnston’s cut off last year was over 3 miles and historically was around a mile.

I did. Dd wasn’t at the village school but one further away but we moved her into the village school in year 6 due to to secondary schools.

we had to as if she’d stayed she ran the potential risk of not getting any local secondary. Her original primary wasn’t a feeder school for anywhere but their “attached” secondary school went on catchment area and we didn’t live in it.

she did however know other kids in the village school so friendship wasn’t really an issue.