For expecting/hoping DH to see the doctor about loss of libido?

[sadeyess]

I've changed names for this.

I have a 3 month old baby. DH and I haven’t had sex since January. I’ve told DH how I feel and how it’s affecting me. It’s horrible, I feel like I’m climbing the walls. I’ve been told on another thread that many men don’t find their partners attractive when they’re pregnant and it was probably that. I do all the night stuff with the baby so it’s not like he’s sleep deprived although the baby now sleeps through for 8-9 hours at night anyway. Anyway I asked DH last week again (third time I’ve mentioned it since January) about it and he says he’s got no drive. I said he should see a doctor as I am struggling massively and he said he would. He’s done nothing yet and nothing has happened. Am I unreasonable for expecting him to have looked into something by this point? Bearing in mind how long it’s been? I feel like I’m involuntarily celibate in a marriage to someone who I adore and am very attracted to. If it makes any difference, I’d like to have sex every night/at least 5 times a week but DH has always been more of a once a week level. He just seems to have said he’ll do something to placate me.

A lot?

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33274434/

https://www.bbc.com/news/health-14880055.amp

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2014/feb/14/father-reduced-testosterone-men-sex

How does martyring yourself and allowing him to be a shit husband and father help matters? You’ve enabled an unequal relationship to his benefit, how is he supposed to have respect for you, let alone want to have sex with you?

@Theboymolefoxandhorseyes that’s right, nothing is happening at all. Not sure on the morning front, 99% sure he’s not. We are very fortunate to have no ‘real’ stresses. We have our health and our DC is healthy, we are okay financially, not 6 figures but comfortable enough, manage to save and have one holiday a year usually. Am I willing to walk away? No.

@Crushed23he’s not a bad husband or father in most respects. I guess I thought that if I did these things, he’d be more attracted to me. I do telll him when he’s upset me or done something not okay about other things not intimacy related. It’s not a case of me being very subservient and quiet.

Why do you think he would be more attracted to a skivvy than a wife who stands her ground and insists on an equal partnership?

Thanks for the reply BretonStripe (I am in fact wearing a Breton stripe shirt as I type 😃)
There's no physical reason for his testicle to feel any different... they just cut and tie off the vas deferens, which transports sperm to the urethra. Has no link with semen production or anything else, so yes, it's likely psychological. But psychological doesn't mean imaginary either, so if it continues to be a problem, then yes, he should talk to someone about it.
It stops you being able to impregnate, but otherwise doesn't make a vas deferens to performance. (I'll get my coat 😃)

@Crushed23good question, I don’t have an answer.

Do you mind me asking if he wanted the baby ?
Being middle aged can affect sex drive mine had ED at 52 through being unhealthy.