Mobile phones - curse or blessing?

[Ilovepastafortea]

DH & me went to a concert the other night. Obviously, no phones allowed to be turned on in the auditorium during the concert.

During the interval we were falling over people checking their phones on the stairs as they left the auditorium.

I'm thinking surely nothing can be that urgent?

When DH & me had small children in the 1980/early 1990's the baby sitter knew where we were and would be able to contact us if there was an emergency.

Our DGD has just started at High School. Our DD & SIL have (quite rightly IMO) never allowed her a phone & have severely policed & limited her access to the internet. Now all of a sudden it seems that she thinks it's a necessity & somehow she's being deprived because all her peers have iPhones & similar. DD has let her have a 'dumb phone' for school trips as no payphones available these days & DD wanted her to be able to tell her about her day.

But I don't get why children 'need' a phone or why people feel a 'need' to constantly check their phones - it seems akin to a babies dummy to me. If there's an emergency at school the school know where to contact parents/carers. Baby sitters would know where you were & how to contact you in the case of an emergency.

I see no reason for this 'need' for constant contact.

So AIBU in that people need to have a phone

Or

AINBU

I agree in the majority of cases. But many people are carers, and phones allow flexibility to go out when perhaps in the past they wouldnt have been able to. I have my phone on me at all times when kids are at school as I'm regularly called due to autistic child's issues.

People need very few things. Wanting them and finding their lives easier or happier (or whatever) with them is different.

Does it really matter to you what choices others make with their phones?

As for your babysitter comment, I can’t imagine that babysitters have any means other than a mobile phone to contact people these days both their own one (landlines are dying out) and the parents they need to contact.

How would your babysitter be able to contact you at a concert or the theatre if there was an emergency? Ring and have them stop the show and make an announcement? Thats not realistic, you’d find out about the emergency when you got home. You may or may not find that acceptable. There’s a big difference in times when that was just how things were versus now where there is an option to be easily connected.

People like being connected. Do I use my phone too much? Definitely yes. Would I be willing to give up on the convenience of having it? Absolutely not.

The number advertised would be for ticket sales anyway. There wouldn’t be one for the actual auditorium and even if one was obtained, the odds of it being answered during the show are negligible and the staff will hardly go and find the person concerned.

Most parents would like to know if their child is on their way to hospital in an ambulance so they could immediately travel to be with them.

YABU to care what other people do. I use my phone a lot and would absolutely check it at an interval. I’m not a twat though and wouldn’t block the stairs, that said I feel that people who are unaware of their surroundings are like that without a phone in their hand too. If I leave my DC I leave him with one of my other (adult) DCs. He is disabled though and finds it quite hard when his Dad and I are both out at the same time, thankfully it happens rarely. Obviously I don’t need a phone but it definitely makes my life easier, if not better.

I'm old enough to remember the days before mobile phones. If there was a group of you meeting up it was impossible once you'd set off from different directions to keep in touch if you were running late, there had to be a sudden change of pub etc, and at the end of the night you had to either find a taxi rank or hope that a vacant black cab would pass in order to get home, as you had no phone to ring a cab.

Yes, I do think many people look at them too much, but I wouldn't be without mine - it;s a blessing.

YANBU but apart from the obvious check ins with childcare or family etc, people simply would rather read the news, twitter/fb etc than wait around for 20 mins. I've started leaving mine in my bag and bringing my kindle/a book everywhere instead.

I don't think we should be so easily contactable tbh. I kinda want my landline back! If I'm in, I'm in, if I'm not then I'm not! And a mobile for backup emergencies

The problem is all the app integration and things only available online now.. so you have to go back to having a PC or laptop at home to sit down in the evening and do your bits and bobs/life admin on. Which is probably healthier as you can shut it off and then are focused on a task, rather than fannying around on insta reels whilst watching tv and trying to book school clubs and chat to family etc

Thank you PP for your comments. I take on board everything you have said.

I guess that, as an older person, I think of my phone as a method of emergency contact rather than it being a necessity. I still have a landline that I prefer to use.

For context: DH & me were at the theatre when DS2 developed a high temperature. The babysitter rang the theatre box office who knew what seats we were in & came up to us during the performance, beckoned to us to come to the aisle & whispered that the babysitter had called. We were able to call her back (using the theatre payphone), establish the problem & left the theatre immediately.

But this was the late 1980's/early 1990's, most people didn't have mobile phones, so maybe theatres & other venues aren't so geared up for this kind of thing these days because everyone has a mobile phone.

I suppose things have changed & I'm still living in the late 20th Century. 😖

You do realise that some of those people you are judging might be using the kindle app to read a book from their phone.

I would imagine that your local theatre doesn’t have a pay phone anymore and quite possibly, you’d struggle to find one anywhere in the local streets.

No payphones now. When my kids go to secondary, they’ll have phones (dumb ones), because when I was a teenager and missed the last bus and needed my mum to come rescue me (or a myriad of other emergencies and non emergencies) I could easily find a payphone to call home, we had one in our school lobby!

I do have some sympathy with your position, we’re getting a landline, locking our phones away at certain times, looking at non-smartphones for the kids, all in an attempt to wrestle some control back. But the world is built on mobile phones and specifically smartphones now, fully opting out is very difficult.

You do realise that some of those people you are judging might be using the kindle app to read a book from their phone. FuzzyWolf

I love my kindle* *it means that I can read after DH & me have gone to bed without a bedside light disturbing him. I like to read in bed and for the first 30 (or so) of our marriage when I used to read a proper book it kept DH awake, but then, for much of that time, we had children who kept us awake 😂