Is it impossible financially after divorce and as a lone parent?

[ChersHandbag]

It felt ok at the time, but now feels like a terrifying burden to support the kids who I solely look after, etc. I wish I’d fought for more or something was different.

Well it’s not impossible but that depends on what you earn? Earning potential etc

why is exhusband not looking after kids? Did you had a lawyer?

I did have one. Ex was abusive and did all the nasty threats, hid money etc, I got what I could. Then he ghosted the kids, haven’t seen him for years. We survived a lot, basically.

I’m through the other side and I won’t lie, there were times when it was really tough. I can remember cooking meals for the DCs and living off toast and their leftovers myself during bad times. I got nothing but debt from our divorce and never had a penny in CM.

But I did it, and now they’re grown they remember everything they had, all the fun, the games we played, the trips and holidays, the Christmases. And they appreciate that I did that, with no contribution from their father.

The hardest part was trying to be positive about my ex through gritted teeth. They’re old enough and know the truth now. They have grown up to be amazing adults. I’m so very proud of them and I’m very proud of myself too! The sacrifices were so worth it.

Wow, that’s amazing @R0ckandHardPlace. I am in awe. And are you ok now the kids are grown? Did you build up a bit of money to have somewhere ok to live etc?

These are very reasonable feelings. It’s hard to sustain a family on your own.

As for money, I think it’s completely the case that if you get divorced or split up you should do the absolute best you can at that point. Really think about the future because generally women get poorer and men recover financially within a few years. Caring for children is expensive, assuming the burden falls on you.

No it's not impossible but it is harder obviously. I earn a good professional salary, no benefits except CB. Ex pays CMS but nothing else and it's a pittance compared to what I cover every month. Id happily have done 50/50 but he wasn't up for it. Rarely sees them now.
Too many women let themselves become dependent financially and are very limited in earning potential after a split. Ive instilled in mine, I hope, that the ability to run your own house is vital.