It's looking as though MiL may have to go into a care home. She's a self funder as she has savings and a house.
DH has POA as MiL lacks capacity to deal with financial matters. He is trying to work out what is the fair thing to do re using MiLs savings or proceeds from the house sale first.
MiL and her late husband married 30+ years ago. They each owned a house, sold their respective houses and bought a joint property. They had a shared account for everyday living but each had an individual savings account with the money each had left over after the sale of their original homes. MiL house was worth quite a bit more than her husband's, so her savings are bigger than his were.
MiL and husband each have one child. Their wills state that, on death, the house and any joint savings pass to the surviving partner but the individual savings go to their individual offspring. When MiLs husband died, his savings went to his son. Both wills say that, after both of them have died, DH and his stepbrother should inherit the house and any joint savings equally.
DH gets on well with his stepbrother. DH thinks that, to fund his Mums care home place, he should use her individual savings up which will find a place for 2 -3 years and, if she's still alive after that time, the proceeds of the house sale should be used. He feels that it would be unfair to his step brother if the house sale funded the care home place first, as DH would eventually get MiLs savings in tact. I think that, as his step brother has had his Dad's individual savings pot, DH should have his Mums.
Obviously MIL might live for years and all the money, both from her savings and from the house, might be used up in her care. And that's absolutely fine. But in the meantime, DH needs to make a decision.
So
YANBU - the money from the sale of the house should be used to fund the care home before the individual savings are
YABU - DH should use up the individual savings before touching the 'joint' assets