or is DH, feeling very upset at the moment....

[SoupKitchen]

DH has just got in from work and had a go at me for wearing my shoes in the house.

Now normally we live in a shoes off in front room and upstairs household, so I would not normally be wearing shoes in the house especially as I am pretty OCD about the housework.

BUT, at the moment we are in the middle of a loft conversion and there are little splinters of wood etc in the carpet, I have not yet had a chance to hoover as builders left about 25 mins before DH got in. I have 2 DC under 3, and it is tea/bath /bedtime.

He is normally so calm and placid, but seemed quite pissed off even following my explaination. not angry or aggressive btw, just pisssed off and told me so.

So if you have managed to make it through the rant , who IBU

Neither of you. Sensitivity-loss is a first casualty of stress.

So tell him to get over himself. Sensitively.

sounds like your DH is taking his bad mood/pissed off state out on you. He is BU for having a go at you abou twhat you do in your own house, espeicially if it was a one off rather than a regular occurance.

He has gone back out now. SO sitting with a glass of wine and MN before I do the story bedtime thing.
Thanks Pan I'm sure your right , he just made me feel guilty for something I saw as sensible for the circumstances.

divorce him

I think he is BU. You arent a child to be told off when Daddy comes home! Would it be better to get loads of splinters??? NO!

custardo.
Just pissed of not at that stage , not by a long chalk.

He has probably had a crap day at work but there is no need to talk to you like you are an imbecile, and he could have listened to your reason. Not that you should have to justify why you are wearing shoes.

YANBU but if it is out of character for him and he is stressed at the moment then its most likely down to that.
Hopefully you wil get an apology later!

(if not, divorce him )

custardo, a tad ott i think - tell dh to go do the hoovering and then you will take your shoes off. if he doesnt tell him to go bare foot and hope he stands on a large splinter! Sorry - probably no help at all - sounds like my dh!

Smear ketchup all over your feet. Walk around freely. When he comes in say you took your shoes off and cut your feet to buggery, when will he be arranging a new carpet and can he take the week off for you to keep your feet up in case you bleed to death.

HIBU. But no doubt you are both stressed. Make sure you lay plenty of splinters on his side of the bed.

I agree with custy, divorce is really the only option in this case

Agree with Pan
It must be stressful living in a building site.

I am not jealous at all that you were sensible enough to buy a house that could be converted

On a bit of a tangent - I am really interested how you can be OCD about housework with 2 DCs under 3? I am genuinely interested. If all goes well with this pregnancy then next year we will also have 2 this age and the house already looks like a bombsite - it's a constant battle to get it looking just ok. I am alright with that - to be honest if I wasn't I would find it all too stressful. But am always curious and secretly admiring when I see other people's (with children) immaculate places...sigh...

my god
i would have chucked the dcs at him and gone out

Is something else bothering him?

Is he OCD too? Sounds like it to me. Perhaps he is woorrying about the germs you are spreading

No. On reflection, have you thought of Relate?

He for his hair-trigger temper, and you for your ability to make a crisis out of a drama.