When does it get easier...

[fordham12345]

Its not even mid day and im nearly in tears

I have a 3.5 yo and 1.5 yo. Im part time working and im just really struggling atm

Going out the house is so much harder now. It felt easier last year just before dd was 1 but I assume thats because shed go in her pram and was crawling/ toddling

Now shes proper walking she kicks off over the pram so wont go in. Can unbuckle reins.

Eldest has a habit of doing a runner atm so just embarrassing when im running around like a headless chicken with one child in my arms the other running laughing and usually towards a car park which is just dangerous

Today I planned to go the park a mini scavenger hunt. Good idea. But as soon as we park up both run away different directions. A lovely lady helped me. We get in. Eldest runs off laughing to car park so I have to grab him and run in explaining we can run IN the park

Feel like I just spend my time telling him off atm. And I hate it I dont want to be. But hes reallt acting out. When were at home they both hit eachother and slightly bicker

But then we come out and it just feels like stress:(

I feel like a failure and my kids hate me and see me as naggy

Does it get a bit easier

Get reins/backpack reins for the eldest.
Secure the youngest in buggy before you get the older one out of the car if you are driving.

They bicker a lot at these ages. This too shall pass.

As above, reins/backpack with reins.
I did it with my twins, but of whom are ND and were runners!

Your eldest is old enough to understand consequences. Tell him if he runs off you go home immediately. If he runs off at the end of playtime no xyz. Be firm and stick to it.
Other than that it will get easier once he starts reception! But it’s a hard slog until they are able to get themselves up and dressed without your assistance.

Thanks all thibk I need to get his reins back out because I just feel so drained and like everyone just sees me in public like a headless chicken running around

And now I feel so sad I a bit of a softie and always worry I need to be more firm but even now I said did you have some fun st the park and he said no

We stayed had a picnic went the playground and did some of our scavenger hunt

But hes said hes tired so unsure if hes saying this as he's a bit moody

Thanks all thibk I need to get his reins back out because I just feel so drained and like everyone just sees me in public like a headless chicken running around

And now I feel so sad I a bit of a softie and always worry I need to be more firm but even now I said did you have some fun st the park and he said no

We stayed had a picnic went the playground and did some of our scavenger hunt

But hes said hes tired so unsure if hes saying this as he's a bit moody

I feel so sad I have no friends im so lonely and some days like these I feel like my own kidsdont even like me

You should get one of the escape -me -not clips for the buggy. That will keep your youngest a bit more secure. My youngest is at the age where she can also get out of her buggy and the clip works well. My older one is 3 and still runs off in the wrong direction too. He will still go in the double buggy though thankfully. Could you get a cheap double or even a loan of one to see if this might work for you? It's definitely not easy. Also with regards to loneliness, motherhood can be lonely. Particularly when dc are very young. Have you tried any toddler groups? I find it really tires mine out and it breaks up the day for me.

I'm a year down the line (DC now almost 5 and 2.5) and it definitely gets much easier so hang in there. My tactic was to set very clear expectations for the older one (who was a very headstrong toddler) before we went anywhere and make very clear what would happen if they weren't met, e.g. hold my hand/the buggy near roads/in carpark and if that doesn't happen, we go home. Not as a punishment but in the spirit of keeping everyone safe/sane, so instead of saying "You were naughty so we have to leave", I'd say "I can see this is too much for you today and I'm worried someone's going to get hurt, so let's go home". Didn't always work of course but it set up good habits for the future and now they're both very easy to manage and we enjoy our time together. I also wouldn't try so hard to make them like you - they love you because you're their mum, you're their favourite person and they're happy if you're happy, so maybe you need to scale back your plans and just do whatever is most comfortable for you until they're a bit older. You sound like such a lovely mum!