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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think bumping into an ex unexpectedly...

11 replies

LondonDays1 · 19/09/2025 05:18

... stirs up old feelings, no matter how things ended or who did the dumping? This has happened to me after 4 years of no contact. We chatted a bit, he's been in my head since, although I know this will pass.
I felt a bit sad/nostalgic - AIBU?

OP posts:
Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 05:23

What’s your current life like?

and surely you grasp that this doesn’t happen in every case.

Betsy95 · 19/09/2025 05:27

No that doesn’t always happen at all.

Do you think maybe you are just fantasising that the relationship / he was better than it was?

You split up for a reason.

Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 05:28

I think the thread you need to start OP is probably about how unhappy you are with your present life

LondonDays1 · 19/09/2025 05:38

I'm actually very content and happy, my life couldn't be better and there's zero chance of ever going back there, but he was in my life for a long time and overnight we never saw each other again.

OP posts:
Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 05:39

LondonDays1 · 19/09/2025 05:38

I'm actually very content and happy, my life couldn't be better and there's zero chance of ever going back there, but he was in my life for a long time and overnight we never saw each other again.

I very much doubt that
if bumping in to an ex can leave you feeling sad and nostalgic

either way… I hope things improve

SiameseBlueEyes · 19/09/2025 05:49

I was once walking down the street and I noticed some man glaring at me. He looked strangely familiar and I realised half way down the street that he was the person that I thought was the love of my life more than twenty years ago. It didn't give rise to a flood of nostalgia other than wondering why I put up with somebody who treated me so badly for so long. My husband turned out to be the real love of my life.

MartyLuzz · 19/09/2025 05:50

Totally understandable, OP. You're human, he obviously meant a lot to you at some stage. I found myself in the same boat, I am very happily married with children. Brought up old memories...It did pass though.

Floranan · 19/09/2025 05:52

It’s perfectly natural to wonder what life would be if you took a different path, it doesn’t mean that your life now isn’t happy and complete. I’ve found as I’ve got older I often wonder where I would be if I’d done things different my life now has its troubles but in the whole is good and I wouldn’t swap it

you say you wouldn’t go back but during the time with him you had good times and happy memories which bumping into him has reminded you of.

Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 06:03

but he was in my life for a long time and overnight we never saw each other again.

most break ups aren’t quite like that. Why was the rupture so sudden?

Tagyoureit · 19/09/2025 12:40

I think bumping into any of my exes would induce a state of instant relief that i never married them and in some cases, a bit of vomit!!

No way would any of them made me as happy as I am with DH!!

Brightbluesomething · 19/09/2025 18:18

Yes it can bring up some feelings but it will also pass. I bumped into a ex a while ago and didn’t think about him until I noticed your thread. He definitely won’t have thought about me afterwards.
Probably more nostalgia than anything else.
They’re an ex for a reason.

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