To not have the decorator back?

[SENsupportplease]

We just had a new bathroom fitted at what was (to us) a lot of money. Only thing not included was painting of the inside door, frame, and ceiling, we used someone our neighbour recommended.

I wasn't there when it was finished.

Next day in daylight and when it had dried, I was gutted. Paint splatters everywhere (including gloss and some anti mould paint), broken grout between the floor tile where apparently he dropped the paint can, and the cutting in is terrible.

He also didn't sand down the door or frame first / very well, and he got a bit of paint on the carpet on the landing.

I've tried to clean off the paint with some success but not been able to get it off everywhere. The bathroom fitters kindly came back and redid the grout for me, and said that using anything more abrasive on the bathroom furniture risks taking the coating off - so at a loss as to how to remove the paint.

I've sent him pictures of the cutting in and he has offered to come back to correct, but i'm scared him causing more damage.

I do not want this decorator back.

I do however want to correct the cutting in, and have been quoted £90 plus paint to do so (cleaning the ceiling edges, re-cutting in, and blending in to the rest of the ceiling). I think it's reasonable that he refunds me this cost and would like to request it.

The decorator who quoted me today also tried to get the paint off and said she was stumped.

So, AIBU for not wanting him back? Or should I let him back and risk further grout damage / paint splatters?

If IANBU, WIBU to request a partial refund? I paid him £380 initially - that was for the above work in 2 bathrooms, 2 half days work.

Please be nice as I don't want to be a dick here, I will listen to replies, and am genuinely upset at the lack of care taken for something that has taken us a long time to save for.

The door frame needs stripping & the hinges replaced.

Apologies if someone’s mentioned this already. In order to have any recompense you have to give the tradesman the opportunity to rectify things themselves before you can take a step further.
I completely appreciate why you don’t want him back, he’s done a shit job and cost you money.
could you go out and your husband be in?
you can ask him to pay, but, he can say no

I feel for you @SENsupportplease, it's so difficult to judge whether a tradesperson is going to be any good or not. I chose an upholstery company based on their really good Google reviews, but they made an absolute dog's dinner of the job and didn't even fulfil the brief. I used to trust reviews and now realise I really, really can't. It's so unnerving when you need professionals to do a job and have to rely on what people say.

For your problem, I'd get the other decorator to sort it, I'd ask previous rubbish decorator (although I wouldn't really expect anything) to partially refund towards repairing the botch job he's done and above all, if the bathrooms aren't quite perfect, I would try to not let it bother me too much. As long as they are functional, that's the main thing.

And YY, those hinges should be replaced (rather than repainted), stainless steel is great for bathrooms as it doesn't rust

I have vertigo which means I really struggle with this sort of thing and on my good days, I have other things to be doing! Also I’m happy to pay people! Just people who are good at their jobs!

Thank you’ll I’ll try these things to remove paint

All these people seeing subliminal things about OP's relationship with her husband being a problem! Look the man made a horrible job of her bathroom - she's upset. I'm not on the autism spectrum, I am happily married and I would be upset if my bathroom looked like that too.

I wouldn't have the "painter" back in the house because who knows what he could do next. I mean how many painters actually crack the flooring while painting the ceiling while spreading paint over the carpet outside the bathroom? I mean this is real idiot level stuff. Your chances of getting a decent cutting in job from him are about nil. Seriously I would be wondering if he was drunk when he did this - the rivers of paint on that door need to be sanded back - and probably new hinges. If you want to have a go at painting stuff yourself its not hard - buy decent paint - checking the tin for instructions about undercoats etc, rollers and a tray and some decent paintbrushes. I am thrifty but do not skimp on the brushes as cheap ones make a dreadful job of spreading paint and tend to moult into the paintwork. A good brush also makes cutting in much easier.

As a newlywed impoverished new houseowner I remember my husband painting the bathroom. I remember saying I didn't know he could paint. He frankly confessed that he'd never actually painted anything before. He did a better job than your painter.

That’s prob more on me and my mindset than him. Because it feels like this happens all the time, I end up doubting myself and believing that he just says the right thing because he loves me. But strangers saying it (that the decorating is bad) means it must be true!

I referred to the situation as being “that I should have chosen a better decorator”

his response to that situation is yes let’s get it fixed

I’m just too worried he will get gloss on the carpet or stand on the loo or some thing

im pretty sure he stood on the bath

i hope things ease up op

If the first bathroom was done properly I'm guessing he looked at the time and thought it was taking too long and wanted to hurry up and finish.
That was definitely a rush job, I totally understand your anxiety and hate these situations, I hate using new trade people as well, the confrontation when things so wrong makes me extremely anxious.
What I can say is at least he hasn't ghosted you which happened to me before so there should hopefully be able to reach a mutual and reasonable compromise.

a magic sponge has always worked to get paint off pretty much any surface for me. You can get them in HB etc, but ebay is cheaper.

Why are you trying to find fault in OP's relationship when she's sated numerous times that her DH isn't the issue?

OP is stressed about the decorator, asked for help about that, not her relationship.

Calling her DH names isn't helpful to OP.
You don't know their relationship or her DH so have no grounds to judge him.

Sorry OP, it sucks but would pay someone else and forget about him.

What i do see is a woman who has admitted to having a dreadful 12 months, riddled with anxiety and no sense of self, and questions whether she’s “crazy”.

Her husband thinks she should have chosen a better decorator

you might not see anything concerning about this, but I do

No he doesn't! Clearly your comprehension isn't great.

OP's replies to your endless questions are:

He isn’t blaming me....

That’s prob more on me and my mindset than him. Because it feels like this happens all the time, I end up doubting myself and believing that he just says the right thing because he loves me.

this particular decision was mine and my fault but I’m not being blamed. he has made similar bad decisions in the past

He isn’t even fussed other than this has upset me

To clarify, I’m the one blaming me, I’m the one saying I should have chosen better. Which is how I feel.

He is the one saying don’t worry we will just have someone fix it.

I’m in an unhappy life dealing with poor health and a late stage autism diagnosis that I’m not coping well with, plus I’m constantly fighting for my children’s ever growing needs. My anxiety was there from childhood.

tradespeople have been an anxiety trigger for years.

my husband isn’t a problem.

Yet you choose to keep digging because you think you know better.

Very disrespectful to OP, her husband by calling him names and to their relationship.

OP asked for decorating help, not marriage counselling.

Even if she had marital issues, at the very least, you need to respect that she doesn't want to discuss it with you.

I’ve said this a few times now

I THINK I SHOUKD HAVE CHOSEN A BETTER DECORATOR

my husbands response to that is WE CAN GET IT RECTIFIED DONT WORRY

Your husband’s response

Even if she had marital issues, at the very least, you need to respect that she doesn't want to discuss it with you.

fair point

And I have a strong sense of self thank you very much but life is hard, autism is hard, tradespeople are a fucking nightmare (sorry to nice ones), having kids with additional needs is hard, school are fucking unsupportive,

that doesn’t mean my husband is a problem and I don’t need to give a sodding life story to ask if this decorating is shit and WIBU to not welcome the decorator back!

thank you to those (most!) who didn’t pile on to my husband who bless him has no idea I’ve even posted!

That was MY QUESTION

can’t you see the question mark which clearly delineates it as a question?

as in, you are asking about my husbands response to the fact I should have chosen a better decorator?

HIS RESPONSE IS WE CAN GET IT RECTIFIED

honestly

Ok so in that case, if your husband is no judgement and supportive, baffling that you needed to ask mumsnet and your relief that you’re “not crazy” when we reassured you.

And your husband also didn’t get a chance to see it before you transferred pay to him without actually seeing it?

Then why the fuck does anyone ever post here if they have one person in real life who can reassure them?

no need for more than one opinion EVER

no need for unbiased replies, get an opinion from someone who just wants you to be happy

no need to speak to people who might have experience of similar situations

what a daft rebuttal

why post on a thread if you don’t want to answer the question originally posed?

Op you paid him before seeing the end result
I just enquired as to whether you asked your husband to take a look before paying

as paying a tradesmen that you have never used before, before you’ve actually seen what they’ve done, is maybe not something to do going forward

Op I don’t went to get you more worked up

so I’ll leave your thread and all the best. It will be sorted