To wonder how people are coping?

[CobbleWobble]

We are very lucky, I know this.

We are "Mumsnet rich" both have professional jobs with good salaries (£170k household income) and yet this last 12 months:

• removed children from private school
• changed how we do the weekly shop to reduce costs
• cut subscriptions (like Disney+ etc)
• reduced what I bought in the back to school shop
• decided against a holiday in October half term
• concerned about our usual Christmas food order

What is going on? I just don't understand why or how prices are rising as they are or how people on less than us are coping!

I'm extremely grateful we have the things to cut that we have but we've also had to remortgage this year which has doubled our mortgage payments and then our utilities have increased and the food shop has just got insane.

We have other things we can cut - a holiday in the UK, Netflix, the monthly takeaway but its just miserable to think we may need to do that just not to be living.

Happy to post spending particulars if people are finding it hard to see where I'm coming from.

So AIBU to think that as a country we cannot go on with prices rising like this? How are others coping?

OP, I’ve been thinking about this, you’ve mentioned how much you’ve been worried and stressing over money, cutting out everything you can, reducing the cleaner, cutting subscriptions etc. taken the children out of school. how much of an active part has your husband had to play in these conversations?

If you have complete and full financial transparency and you were doing the budget together you would know immediately how much he contributes a month to his pension, and how much better off you would be if he reduced his contributions, particularly as you’ve had to remove your children from their school.

I’m a bit confused how you afforded the fees which must have been apprx 3.5k a month- how did you have the budget for it when your mortgage has only gone up 1200 a month and you’re really struggling now? I wonder if he’s playing his full part in all of this or just letting you do all the worrying

Sorry if I have read this wrong but did you mean you have £900 disposable income each month?

We earn just a bit more than the op ( and in a 50/50 split so better for tax reasons) our mortgage is £3200 per month. We don’t have any childcare costs. I can’t just move to try and save a few quid, I’d end up somewhere too small for us all STILL paying over £2k a month.

Or you leave the country and move elsewhere?

Jeez this place is depressing. Can’t you see the issue with young people only being able to afford shit housing? I live in a beautiful, massive house but that’s because I bought it years and years ago. I’m alright.

But I sort of thing a young couple with the income this pair have, paying loads of tax, doing the right thing for our economy and public services deserve better than being told they’re getting above themselves wanting something better than the shit housing they’d be in if their mortgage was less.

Plenty of nice places that are affordable in this country.

Deserve better 🤣 for wasting money, managing it badly and buying the wrong house. Most people could live very well on that salary. We’re on a third of that and do.

Please don’t come on a thread like this where someone is already basically pleading poverty at £170k a year household income and then say you’re burning through £9k a month. You chose to have 5 children as well. I think this is completely tone deaf and I really don’t have much sympathy. I hear your points that you too are seeing how much impact the cost is, but it really isn’t the same as those who genuinely struggle.

We're coping very nicely thanks. Our income is 2/3 of yours. We're just planning three separate weeks of European holidays for next year, and already have three breaks in the UK booked in. We recently bought a car and had a new bathroom fitted. We have Netflix, Amazon Prime, Disney+.

On the other hand we live in a less expensive part of the country (regional city, very pleasant, but outside the South East of England). Our mortgage is a fraction of yours. The car was second hand, bought from savings. We don't get many takeaways (food or coffee) and spend little on clothes and grooming.

In short, we try to make long term, sensible financial decisions, and live within our means, minimising the costs of servicing debts as far as we can. But also, we've been lucky.

We live in a 2 bed terrace! The water is a flat rate, and I think it’s actually £18. They’re installing meters down the street but we’re allowed to stay on the flat rate, although whoever moves in after us would have to use the meter, apparently! I’m sure it won’t last forever.

Yeah I get you. Her situation isn’t relatable to a lot of people. I could see where she was coming from. And I could see why people got irked too.

I don’t she is crying about it. But I understand why people have taken it that way.

Disappointing to see the usual “tone deaf” comments. OP has a very good household income but doesn’t feel comfortable in the way she expected to with an income at that level. There are various issues here:

One, with husband earning around £125k he’s being clobbered by marginal tax of 60+% (70% in Scotland). So after tax earnings are much lower than one might expect.

Secondly, OP isn’t used to having to budget and feels she shouldn’t have to given her income (therefore it hasn’t been a priority before now). This is understandable but needs to change.

Thirdly, OP looks around and those with much less income (eg two £40k salaries) are on a net income of not that much less than OP due to much more favourable tax at that level, keeping child benefit, UC top up in some cases. OP should feel much better off than a family like this next door but she doesn’t. It doesn’t make sense to her that she can’t afford the much better house, better holidays, etc but in reality, her net income isn’t that much higher so she cannot afford this and adjusting is difficult and upsetting.

The lefties will say that the rich should be taxed more but herein lies the problem. They’re already being taxed to the hilt and now can’t pay for things like cleaners and school fees which previously would have stoked the economy. Hence the country is stuck in a dooms-driven downward spiral.

The country can’t tax its way to prosperity. Perhaps if this changes we’ll see an improvement but with Starmer and Reeves in charge I highly doubt it.

🎻

@daisymoo2 You forgot the most important issue of all - the money pit house OP and her husband chose, that they’re paying £2.5k per month for.

Also, everyone should budget, and budget properly, regardless of income. It’s called living below your means. You can’t be bothered to do it, then you’ll find yourself screwed.

I‘ve been saying the same to my DH - I feel so bad for people who have lower income and more outgoings. It’s becoming unmanageable. Don't come for me anyone, but I do think Brexit has a lot to do with it.

I do really agree with this. It shocks me these days how much young people spend on coffee, clothes, ubers, holidays and then claim they can't save for a house!! I did jury service last week and you get a daily food allowance but I brought my own food and drinks. That will probably add up (75.00) to something we can do as a family. There is a lot of food waste too. I'm always shocked by what I can buy in Sainsbury's for 50.00 vs Aldi or Lidl, let alone M & S or Waitrose!

You can be careful without being stingy.

Sorry closer to £60 (forgot weekends not included!)

I do relate and have some sympathy with OP.

Our household income is lower approx 140k but we also don't have a net income as high as people think, joint tax free income is £7800.
DH earns about 4-5times more than me, over 100k, his annual tax allowance is reduced to about 7k pa.
Also not entitled to child benefit, free nursery places, childcare tax credits.

If you have 2 salaries of 50-60k, especially if you have young DC, in reality you are much better off than 1 partner earning over 100k and the other earning a lowish salary.

Not saying people in our situation are poor but we might not have the lifestyle or income people expect with a higher household income.

We also need to budget and don't have masses of surplus income. Have 4 DC, who are now older so no childcare but still a financial drain😂

Our grocery bill is horrendous so I think the cost of food is a significant outgoing that is much harder to reduce.

Utilities have also gone up enormously.

I dont much care if say the cost of a new car or sofa or a fridge freezer etc has risen what really matters is the rising cost of daily essentials and mortgage rates.

Housing costs are crippling and if it wasn’t for so
much money going to banks and tied up in homes this country would feel such a different place - but any adjustment will either cause a lot of pain or take decades

Haven’t RTFT

I am not referring to people who are on low salaries.

But people on moderate to high salaries - they earn a certain amount and believe it’s important to get cars on tick, and buy the biggest house they can afford while the interest rates are low and ignore the warnings about being able to afford the payments if interest rates go up. I think many people on these types of income believe they deserve a certain life style so they have something to show for it. And in a way, they do. That’s fine. I love nice houses and nice cars. But I prefer to have more disposable income, personally.
Im a single parent with a school age child. My mortgage is £550 on a 3 bed semi, I own my car (a very modest oldish smaller car that still runs perfectly fine) I earn around £80k and definitely never feel squeezed. So from the outside, nobody knows I earn well. I prefer it that way.

yeah we earn very well. 120k as a household. We own both our cars outright. Yes we have a new house, but that was much needed. We save 2.5k per month…and yet still I got a negative comment on that, you can’t win on here.

Yes, we're on under half your salary and not struggling.

“Miserable”?! You had to cancel ONE of your holidays?! Get a grip poster. I know you acknowledge you are ‘Mumsnet rich’ but you are VERY well off. You are clearly overspending even after taking the kids out of private schools. I don’t know if you’ve ever really struggled but imagine you are living on £30k pa (my situation as a mum bringing up two kids alone and running my own business) and budget accordingly. Then you will be delighted with the disposable income you will inevitably have left to enjoy.

Im all for people making financial decisions that suit them, etc. but my preference is the same as yours! I’d rather have the security that if something breaks I can afford to replace it that month. The security of savings and not being tied to huge monthly repayments on things. Also, I don’t want to have to live with anyone else 😂

Yeah our only big payment is the mortgage at 1900 but that’s worth it to me.