To wonder how people are coping?

[CobbleWobble]

We are very lucky, I know this.

We are "Mumsnet rich" both have professional jobs with good salaries (£170k household income) and yet this last 12 months:

• removed children from private school
• changed how we do the weekly shop to reduce costs
• cut subscriptions (like Disney+ etc)
• reduced what I bought in the back to school shop
• decided against a holiday in October half term
• concerned about our usual Christmas food order

What is going on? I just don't understand why or how prices are rising as they are or how people on less than us are coping!

I'm extremely grateful we have the things to cut that we have but we've also had to remortgage this year which has doubled our mortgage payments and then our utilities have increased and the food shop has just got insane.

We have other things we can cut - a holiday in the UK, Netflix, the monthly takeaway but its just miserable to think we may need to do that just not to be living.

Happy to post spending particulars if people are finding it hard to see where I'm coming from.

So AIBU to think that as a country we cannot go on with prices rising like this? How are others coping?

Maybe, it is a matter of perspective. I'm perfectly happy with basic housing, clothes, some heating in winter and essential food.

I don't think shopping at Waitrose and M&S will drastically make me more happy.

People will always want more. The rich parents get pestered for even more expensive stuff, now they will need Louis Vuitton school bag. It is just endless and people would always worry more about the next month if you have to find £5.5k rather than £2.5 to sustain their lifestyle.

It's called the happiness plateau. From AI:

The happiness plateau is a debated concept in psychology suggesting that, for most people, daily happiness and well-being may not significantly increase beyond a certain income level, though life satisfaction can continue to rise.

I’m no happier on a higher income than when I was in a lower income…however I can now afford the lack of worry. And this is what makes a huge difference. I’m still not into expensive handbags etc but I know if the washing machine packs in I don’t need to panic. Today I had to fork out for four new tyres, previously this would have crippled me and I’d be racked with worry on how to stagger it etc. The stability is always the biggest difference.

Your £900 a month of "extras money" is about £50 a month less than the entirety of a state pension- after the upcoming rise.

And out of this has to come everything - council tax, food, utilities, tv licence....there's no concessions.

Whilst I am sure you feel your life is difficult or unfair, please do spare a thought for the less fortunate. It might help you with perspective.

But the thing is, your situation isn't 'fucking hell the country's in a mess' its 'fucking hell your mortgage is mahoosive'. You're not feeling the pinch because mince is costing a few quid more. If your mortgage was more reasonable, you wouldn't be 'feeling the pinch' at all. (And with £900 a month spare, I'd say you can definitely afford to keep Netflix and Disney and buy a nice organic Turkey at Christmas).

You are having an actual laugh aren’t you. Cutting private school I can understand but the rest is outrageous if combined income is £170k. Do you want the peasants to help you feel better?

My heart bleeds. Concerned about the Christmas food shop. My mum and I have a takeaway at Christmas and have done for several years. How can you cope on 170k a year? Until last September I was living on 400 quid a month. Go down to Aldi or Lidl like the rest of the peasants

Can’t one of you have a lunch break at 3.25? To collect ? Many do

You can’t manage on 170k a year???? What?
Most couples don’t make 70k per year between them let alone 170k!

Either you’re paying stupid amounts for expensive cars and a massive house or one of you has a secret shopping/gambling/drugs habit.

That is a very good income

How is your income split? You and your DH make more than me and DH combined?

My DH is on £130k whilst I'm on £25k (part time). I guess private school was the biggest expense, we just did state grammar instead.

We've been careful with our spending but allow adult DC to live at home rent free.

I'm sure this is a wynd up. I get mortgages have gone up but you're saving on expensive school fees. The part about the Christmas dinner order makes me think 🤔

This is a great suggestion, but unfortunately we've already done most of it - we are big campers, usually go abroad once a year and in the UK twice a year, but next year it'll be 1 UK trip.

I did recently switch our gas and electric supplier which saved us £40 but we have a very inefficient hot water system which costs a lot to run (and is the only source of hot water we have - no electric shower). We have a smart heating system so don't heat rooms we don't use and don't put the heating on much, just enough to keep off the mold (Victorian house so drafty and potential to be damp).

I use topcashback currently but I'll look at kidstart. And also look at ynab.

And talk to DH about his pension contributions.

Jeez @CobbleWobble our household income is approx £130k and whilst I’m appalled at how prices have rocketed, I’m certainly not worried about the Christmas shopping or the tv subs. People live on significantly less and I’m very aware of our position by comparison, so we do regularly donate to the local food banks, pet banks and a similar ‘business attire’ charity type organisation (it’s not an official charity yet). I’m not sure spreading abject fear is helpful from someone in a relatively privileged position.

@MyLips presumably as your dc are now adults you likely have paid off the majority of your mortgage or all of it?

I'm sorry, but this seems like a joke. You need to get in touch with a financial advisor if you are struggling on that sort of money.

Ignore the haters, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with reviewing your spending habits to see if you are getting value for money whatever you’re income level. A millionaire should cancel their Disney+ subscription if they don’t really watch it.

Amd for those that are saying you must have a massive mortgage, maybe you just want to save a lot so you can retire early. That’s an equally valid life choice.

Agreed, our income is about 2/3 of that and we are comfortable (even more so that we're not paying ds' rent at uni!)

What sort of house do you have? Did you buy a too-expensive house when interest rates were low?

Do you drive really expensive cars?

Ultimately people live up to their incomes but there should always be some slack.

A warning to others: live to 90% of your means not 110%.

No still 8 years left. We have a DS in upper sixth still.

Well of course it I’m entirely depends on your outgoings. In your eyes we would be on a pittance (£75k jointly as I only work part time now), but in the real world of course we earn a decent living. We live in a £1.1 million property, have our own horses kept at home, just back from a lovely 2 week independent villa holiday in the Caribbean, go skiing every year, and our children attend a very selective private school.

However let’s break that down a bit: the house only hs a mortgage of £130k on it as I am from a very wealthy family and have already inherited significant amounts of money, plus we bought it and renovated it so it’s worth about double what we paid 9 years ago. We also made about £150k on our first house by renovating it whilst we lived there.

Horses aren’t too expensive if you keep them at home, but that’s said a bit tongue in cheek as one of mine cost £16k in vets bills a few years ago! We paid that from savings.

We saved hard for the recent holiday and my parents pay for our skiing holiday every year.

The children are gifted academically and in various sports, so basically we have ended up paying no fees for either of them as they were jolly lucky to be offered funded places at various schools that specialise in the sports they do, and they also received academic bursaries which cover the whole cost. My father pays for uniforms and trips etc.

We also aren’t very materialistic, so we drive old cars that we buy outright, don’t bother with Sky or Netflix, wear secondhand good quality clothes, and we spend a lot of time at the nearby beach (which is free). We do spend lots on the children’s sports training and our hobbies but that’s manageable even on our rubbish public sector wages!

Saving is a very sensible lifestyle choice but if you have to save less that doesn't make you hard up.

Agree with cancelling things you don't need, there's no need to simply waste money because you have it.

Do you have the trappings of your income bracket? Nice big house/nice area plus 2 luxury end cars?

How do people cope?

They are not thick and know how to count 🤷‍♀️

170k and struggling that is most bizzare. With a Mortgage? Very bizzare.

We are single income 60k and we manage fine but we do rent and somewhere where rent is cheap. We have had yo cut certain food items and we don't eat out regularpy maybe 3 times a year and we don't do takeaways. The only thing that is hitting us badly is all the healthy foods. Olive oil, eggs, veggies and fruits, meats etc.

Entirely depends on how expensive your lifestyle is. I don't like restaurants, holidays, alcohol, parties, we only have one car. I like a quiet life. I do work and like nice clothes so I have a lovely wardrobe. Otherwise, the only point of earning a lot is in case there's a problem that can only be fixed with money. My DS has recently needed medical care not covered by my work insurance and we've just paid it without a second thought and will continue to for the next few years. That's where money makes a difference - it can reduce your stress level. But in terms of looking rich or having fancy stuff, I'm just not interested or impressed with any of it and of course £170K is money some can only dream of.