Living in student accommodation 6th form

[Bloomsburygirl]

My DS wants to be a fashion designer. He has his sights set on Central St Martins (CSM) and wants to go to Hamstead Fine Arts College (HFAC) for sixth form because they have a strong track record of getting kids into CSM fashion courses. The problem is we don't live in London (we're three hours away) and do not know anyone there. He would have to live in student accommodation. I called HFAC and asked them if many sixth formers lived independently in the student accommodation. They said yes, but only the international students. DS has always been incredibly focused, ambitious, and determined (he secured himself work experience with an up and coming designer at this year's London Fashion Week (he's only 14 and he organised it himself and is designing his first collection). The only other option he is interested in is King's Ely as they have a strong fashion and textiles offering. However, his first choice is HFAC, despite the fact that DH and I would prefer King's Ely as he can board. DS is mature and sensible, but I feel 16 is too young to live in student accommodation, especially in London, even though I left home at a similar age to go to a college (30 odd years ago). AIBU to say HFAC is not an option due to the accommodation issue, or am I risking him resenting me by holding him back? Thank you for reading.

When you say the student accommodation what are you referring to - as I cannot see anything about this on the website? Is it accommodation managed by the school?

@PeanutGallerist no it's not run by the school. It is student accommodation used by various students, not just those attending HFAC. It has no connection with the school, but it is the closest. The accommodation is lovely and in a good area, but they are not responsible for the students. Hence my concern. But am I being overprotective? I left home at 17 and lived in a flat with friends. Looking back now, it seems unbelievable, but am I being overprotective?

I was at university in the early 00s and there were 2 x 17yos on my course, they'd only just turned 17yo. They lived in non catered student halls and were both fine. I guess it might depend on the DC but I think this sort of thing was more common in the past but people managed OK. There always used to be lots of 17yos on nursing courses back when they were diploma level.

This is so tough- I'd say only you know him best, and the question really is how will he handle being so very independent. I know you're only three hours away but- would he know what to do if there was a fire, a break in or if he felt unsafe at night? Would he be able to handle an independent budget (and how much could you financially support him), and does he have the living skills to cook and maintain a flat? I know he's only a couple of years away from these things anyway (he'd have to manage at uni), but even at 18 it's the kind of questions I'd ask a 6th former before they moved away from home.

I know The Brit School has students who lodge with families and I know there's various schemes for foreign students to lodge with families.
I don't have any details about the schemes unfortunately but you might be able to find something similar.

He sounds really focused, and knows what he wants. I doubt that the other college will be a suitable alternative for him. If I were you, I'd support him fully. Obviously talk through the ins and outs of living independently... you did it when just a year older, and I'm sure he can too. Good luck to him in his studies and future career.

Have you checked that the student accommodation will take him? A lot of the private providers only take students who are 18+.

@NannyOgg1341 we can support him financially and will make sure he knows how to cook, take care of himself. If there was a break in or fire there are other students there and he is sensible. He would also come home every weekend.

Will the accommodation allow under 18s? Most won’t for safeguarding reasons. Also check out CSM before he applies. It’s more like finishing school for rich Chinese students these days. The very few non-Chinese students really struggle, particularly with group work.

@titchy yes, they do allow under 18 years as some of the international sixth formers live there. Thank you for the info regarding CSM - I will look into that as I was unaware.

How is he with friends?

Does he find it easy to make new ones?
Can he say no and mean it?

If he was isolated would he be more lax about drinking, drugs, sex etc?

It is very young to be living alone in an unfamiliar city. What about a lodging arrangement with a family where meals are provided? There are agencies that manage these,and they ensure that the families have the appropriate background checks.

Do Hampsted Fine Art have a stronger record on getting DC into BA CSM fashion: Womenswear than any other FE institution in the country? Really? Do HFA say they get kids into CSM and people assume they’re getting them into that specific course? I’m pretty sure cam BA Fashion:knit was in clearing this year-but I was surprised so may be wrong.

The children who go to that school are massively wealthy, look at the fees. If a second home in London is affordable, do that. If not I’d get into CSM website and look at all their help and advice for portfolios-I think they have YouTube channels showing what they’re after.

Having looked at options including a combined HE/FE college for DC for sixth form when we lived abroad and ruled it out in favour of traditional boarding school and having had a DC at a London uni under 18 I would say look for a home boarding option over halls. Drama schools often have students boarding with families for sixth form, I would try and look at something like that. If he really will go home every weekend there would I’m sure be lots of people who would happily have a boarder through the week. I don’t think private halls designed for uni students is the right environment for a 16 year old yet to complete sixth form level accommodation.

There are so many issues to consider here. (And I’m speaking as someone with several generations of traditional boarding school behind me.)

Firstly whether this is indeed the ideal school to help him achieve his aspirations. There was a not very encouraging thread about CSM very recently which you should probably search for. But if that’s the main place they send students on to, it gives an idea of who attends this school, I suppose?

And then having a 16 year old living unsupervised in London … It’s not something I’d feel easy about - so I’d be investigating family home lodging options where there’d be someone to monitor his comings and goings and provide him with the odd home cooked meal.

I also suspect he may be too exhausted or too immersed in his own life to want to go home every weekend.

However, I note he is currently only 14. And clearly very proactive! It may be that by 16 he has his own friends and contacts in London, (with the possibility of somewhere to stay) as well as a more solid knowledge of what really will be the best route to what he wants.

There are families out there who are guardians for students from abroad studying in the UK, They provide accommodation for weekends and some holidays, there might be something similar for your boy. Try an agency maybe?

My daughter lived away from home for the equivalent of 6th form. She was studying dance. She did do a year living with a family first though.

Some of her friends did go to London at 16. Places like Central School of Ballet & Laine Theatre Arts. She herself decided that 16 was too young to do that and she went at 19.

I'm just replying to this comment of yours, OP, so you'll see my questions here!

You say he's already organised work experience in London for Fashion week - if you're 3 hours away, have you made accommodation arrangements for that? Just wondering if this might be a trial for him going forward - or are you going with and supervising him for this?

As a former secondary teacher and headteacher, the thought of a 16 year old living alone in London does worry me quite a bit, I have to say.

“He would also come home every weekend.”

OP, if he’s coming home every weekend, what is your worry? He’ll be busy during the week, and even if he goes out with a few mates, so he might if he was at home. I’d let him go - he sounds like a focused and enterprising young man with a plan - I’d support him as far as I possibly could.

I know quite a few 16-year-olds who lived away in London in student accommodation. It’s quite common in the performing arts and dance world, where you typically start a diploma or a degree at 16. Or there’s home stay where you lodge with a family.

And…Do HFA get kids into CSM from their foundation year, rather than A level route? I’m pretty certain the fashion BA at CSM still require that qualification, where as many other courses don’t-check!

Do HFA get more kids into specific courses in London (than what? than where?) because they are in London and they have a wealthy cohort who can afford to stay in London?

HFA is known locally as party central, very wealthy kids with a lot of disposable income. He won’t be going home at weekends-he’ll be in the Cotswolds or at his mates parents in Primrose Hill

Does he know that it’s the MA at CSM that is traditionally the course to aim for? Is he only considering the UK? Parsons?

I am unsure if any 14 year old could acquire legitimate work experience, which would include safe guarding and proper training. I’d imagine he’s doing digsbody work to be in the action that the “upcoming designer” doesn’t want to pay for. I’d also imagine that the BFC aren’t aware.

i think it’s unfair to suggest CSM fashion degrees are a finishing school for Chinese students-but there is a partial truth in this.

I work in lowly admin roles with several adults who did the BAs in fashion at CSM. They wish they had studied elsewhere to get some skills, while living a bit and tried for the MA later on. On just studied elsewhere to get the skills to make them employable in the majority of jobs. Not to say that CSM grads in fashion aren’t employable, but they aren’t usually doing the main jobs.

I am so sorry to be a downer, but my suggestion would be that you start to look at the reality of the situation and do research yourself. It’s very easy for kids to pick up an alternative reality from what ever internet channels they’re using.

In other words take no notice of me or anything on the internet but go and check out UAL, CSM and the jobs he wants! He might find that what he wants isn’t what he needs.

@VickyEadieofThigh - it was only a couple of days and I went with him. We stayed in a hotel. It was a fascinating experience for me too!

@MorningtonAlmondCroissant thank you for such a valuable insight. His 'work experience' was just a couple of days doing dogsbody work and watching and learning. I was with him the entire time. But he organised it all himself at 14, so he definitely has drive and gumption. However, like most 14 year olds, he thinks he knows everything! Your suggestions are most welcome x

I’m afraid I have no advice. But I have two kids at university and they are not half as proactive and focused as your 14-year-old even now. I am so impressed, well done!

my advise would be the same if Ihad had my second cup of coffee, but may have been phrased more positively. Sorry about that! He might be right, and he’s got gumption, and supportive family with some money-he’s got a lot going for him.