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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at nursery for not knowing where DS (16mo) was...

27 replies

SmoothandWilkie · 02/06/2008 14:43

I had a bit of a nightmare on Friday - tell me if you think I have overreacted. Went to pick DS up from nursery on Fri night after work and all the kids were in the outdoor area at the front of the nursery. I couldn't see DS but his keyworker told me he was in the playhouse so I stood by it and called him. He didn't come. The keyworker looked in and said 'Oh he's not there, where is he then?' and looked at the other worker who said 'I bet he's gone round the side', so she disappeared off round the side of the building (which is also enclosed) and came back about 3 mins later holding him sayin 'God, he had opened the gate and gone through into the other bit!'. I said quite sharply 'WHAT other bit?' and they said 'Oh don't worry, it's still enclosed it's just round the back'.

His jeans were wet so he had obv fallen over and he had a bump on his nose - I'm guessing from falling over. He was fine though.

I didn't say anything at the time but when I got home I kept thinking about it and got more and more angry. WHY wasn't he in sight? What would have happened if he had fallen? Or climbed up and out (which he can do). What if someone had snatched him? How had they not noticed he wasn't in the play area?

I went back to the nursery yesterday evening and had a nosy at the bit they were talking about. Yes, it is enclosed BUT it is full of bits of broken toys, and has quite a deep drain in it.

So I called the nursery this morning after dropping him off and spoke to the manager of the roddler room. Half hour later the manager of the nursery rang me (she had come in on her day off!). She angry
and apologised profusely and said that she is talking to the staff involved.

The staff involved - one of which is DS's keyworkers are lovely and I don't want to fall out with them but I have to put DS first.

I know nothing DID happen to him but what if it HAD? Do you think I have overreacted or would you be annoyed too?

OP posts:

RubySlippers · 02/06/2008 14:47

i would be cross

if your 16 month old can open the gate then the lock needs changing urgently (for starters)

the fact that the area is enclosed is fine, but if there are dangers there (such as a drain and broken toys) then they need to sort it out

EggyChick · 02/06/2008 14:47

You've absolutely done the right thing and not overreacted in the slightest. His keyworker should know where he is at all times. They won't let him out of their sight again I suspect.

Original poster

SmoothandWilkie · 02/06/2008 14:49

Prob is that he is a climber and will climb up ANYTHING (found him on top of the toilet cistern the other day - I KID YOU NOT) so there is a high chance he could climb and hurt himself.

Argh. WHY weren't they watching him? I want to know how long he was on his own in that bit. It's right round the back of the building, away from the play area.

OP posts:

alicet · 02/06/2008 14:53

You know YANBU. Doesn't matter whether others on here would have been bothered in the same situation - you are his mum, and you WERE bothered at the fact that people you were paying to look after your son weren't watching him.

You have done absolutely the right thing.

FWIW I would have been horrified. Not that they weren't watching him specifically every second (I think with a ratio of 1:3 which is normal at this age you can't possibly watch a child 100% of the time) but that it was possible for him to go into an area where he was out of sight. TBH I think it's the nursery who are at fault for this being the case rather than the individuals

RubySlippers · 02/06/2008 14:55

you need to ask some searching questions i think

you do need to know how long he was on his own for and when they are going to change the nursery locks!

HonoriaGlossop · 02/06/2008 15:13

Yup agree you're not over-reacting at all. I would want them to make that lock safe ASAP so if I were you I'd get them to show it to you to re-assure you and that should be like tomorrow, not next week or the week after!

Saturn74 · 02/06/2008 15:16

The deep drain is worrying.
YANBU

2point4kids · 02/06/2008 15:19

A similar thing happeded at Ds's nursery with him being able to get through the gate and down the stairs!
I went to see the manager like you, but I said he wasnt to go in that room until they changed the locks. They changed them the next day.
All is fine now!

lucyellensmum · 02/06/2008 15:38

How did he manage to open the gate if it was enclosed??? I would be wording a very angry letter, mentioning words like ofsted if it were me - stuff falling out with them. Thank god nothing happened to your little boy, the alternative doesnt bear thinking about, i mean, if he had fallen down the drain and they not looked there because the area is "enclosed". Why the hell wasn't the gate locked??

cheeset · 02/06/2008 15:54

IMO you didn't overreact. They should count the children too. Shouldn't his keyworker be responsible for his care?

It's difficult when you are friendly with the staff but I would persue this as you may stop this from happening again to someone else. Next time, it might not end so favourably.

NotABanana · 02/06/2008 15:59

I feel sick.

Your poor boy. Hopefully he is unaware of the drama. I expect you needed a stiff drink.

All those broken toys should be removed immediately - broken = sharp bits, and the deep drain needs to be sorted straight away too. He had already fallen, what if he had fallen into the drain? A child can drown in 2 inches of water.

YA so NBU.

Original poster

SmoothandWilkie · 02/06/2008 16:24

Thank you - I was worried I was overreacting.

The drain is the bit where the downpipes go into it, quite deep and ledged but no water - just to clarify - not an open drain otherwise I WOULD have been writing to Ofsted.

I think their reaction shows how serious they are taking it.

OP posts:

Love2bake · 02/06/2008 16:32

That is such a worry, at 16mths little ones are so unaware of danger.

I think you should speak to the Manager and ask if they are planning to put any more safety measures in place after this incident, ie, a LOCKED gate!

Original poster

SmoothandWilkie · 02/06/2008 16:37

She is ringing me tomorrow. I am going to pick him up tonight so will have a look myself to see if it is locked.

OP posts:

Love2bake · 02/06/2008 16:39

Good idea - I'm sure the Manager will sort it out as the last thing they want is all the parents getting worried.

Original poster

SmoothandWilkie · 02/06/2008 16:40

As I said earlier, I think the fact that the manager came in on her day off to sort the problem and call me speaks volumes!

OP posts:

NotABanana · 02/06/2008 17:08

How did it go?

SraCellophane · 02/06/2008 18:22

How bloody awful! I'd be fuming too, as you well know

A child got out of a Playgroup, of which I was a committee member. My experience tells me that when stg like this happens (with, thank god, no major harm done), the staff are (rightly) very upset and therefore, after the short sharp shock, much more stringent.

Hope that is of some consolation to you.

SraCellophane · 02/06/2008 18:24

But having a gate which a 16mo can open? Really......... it's hardly what you're paying your money for, is it?

Original poster

SmoothandWilkie · 02/06/2008 18:58

Well they apologised again when I picked him up. I said no harm done thankfully and am glad they have taken it so seriously. There were no children in that part of the play area so I am guessing it is off limits until the staff meeting tomorrow that she has called to deal with it!!

OP posts:

kama · 02/06/2008 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

littlepinkpixie · 02/06/2008 19:09

YANBU, you are paying for them to keep an eye on him. At least they are taking it seriously.

Tallie11 · 02/06/2008 20:32

I am so so pleased you reported this to the nursery..... The thought of my 15 month year old wandering off unnoticed feels me with dread.

sunnydelight · 03/06/2008 00:05

Of course YANBU, kids that age need constant supervision. On the news here this morning parents turned up to collect their 12 month old from nursery to find it locked up, the staff had gone home, and their child was still INSIDE!!!!!!!

hayley2u · 03/06/2008 00:22

r thats terrible, i v been working in nurseys for last ten yrs, and the last one i worked in put me of altogether, i worked n took my ds withe who was 1 at the time, we had been at another nursey but this was nearer home. i found that the managers would use the ratios which is 1 keyworker to 3 under 1s
1 to 4 toddlers and to 8 over 3 s
all people are supposed to be on floor with children, but in this nursery i was with the over 3 s and at times i was left with 18 hildren whilst our manager did not help.
and anothr time it was me and a nurseyassistant with 30 children, we had to have the children outside as was ipossible to kep check of them. there would e accidents etc and was damn right awful, but when parents arrived the managers would appear suddwnly and we got blame for things going wrong, my son who was in baby room with 12 babies with 2 staff one wondering in and out all time, came home with bruises n i got really angry, and spoke to managers who gave me warning for expresssing, i pckd up and left,
sorry to rave just though give you bit of insight as prob was not key worker fault

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