In laws didn’t visit DC once post c section. They also only see DC if we go to them

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Question is in the title really….

In laws didn’t visit DC once post c section (they live 10 mins away)
They also only see DC if we go to them, they never message to ask to see DC. It’s normally planned by us. Again… they live 10 mins away.

how would you feel about it…?
am I being unreasonable to this what the hell as I’m a bit miffed about the lack of effort and quite frankly can’t be bothered to keep trying…?

How old is your baby now? Were they just trying to make sure you didn't feel pressured when you were recovering?

They won't be having the pleasure of meeting your beautiful new baby.
Congratulations 🎊 😍

What was your relationship like before having the baby?

What was your relationship with your in-laws before baby and what does your DH say?

Although, I am of the belief that I don’t chase family to have a relationship with my children. If you don’t bother, why should I?

It really does depend on the ages of said dc! 2 years old, sod them!
2 weeks old, that can be a minefield! Theres post after post on here about in laws visiting too early, invading space etc so maybe they didnt want to overstep and have been too cautious!

Baby is 4 months old
I sent message to welcome them over whenever they please
Again before baby… expected we go to them, the whole time me and DH have been together they’ve never made the effort to come over
Post c section I said to DH that it was my time to recover so if people wanted to make the effort to see DC they would need to come over until I’d recovered as unable to move. No visit until we went to them

Fuck them.
Dont be bothered.
Same situation, it’s now been around 6 months and not a single text from mine.
zero interest, zero so fuck them.

What was your DH saying to them? What were his arrangements with his DP. Not fully understanding why you are peeved - they have seen your child post section, they could hardly see it before it was born

@categorychaos DH is pretty used to it as they don’t make effort with other DC in the family. DH knows he’s expected to go there else DC won’t be seen.
point is we have to go to them, no effort is ever made to come to us or make plans to see DC and live around the corner
bit bizarre

Tbh I wouldn't do a lot of fuss. They can visit. Or not.
Then baby is older your husband can go se his parents 10 min away with the child if he wants to.

I had the same with my children when they when they were young. Only seen grandparents when we brought them - no one came to visit. We didnt press it.

The results are now that we have three teenagers who point blank refuse to visit grandparents, even at Christmas because they dont know them and have no bond at all. My kids dont even know their grandparents real names etc. There is no conflict or hard feelings on my end and I still speak with the grandparents and visit without the kids (i cant force them) but my kids just simply dont know them or feel obligated to visit.

Its actually quite sad because I know i will be the complete opposite. Its also sad because they had very good relationships with their older (now adult) grandchildren who belonged to their daughters. Grandparents all drive and live about a 10 minute drive away.

Do you ever invite them over? Not just say come over whenever , but an actual time, like for a meal let’s say .

@Tourmalines have asked my DH to but apparently none of the dates we suggested would work… in a 3 month date range.

I’m not particularly annoyed as such, just find it bizarre

You really don't have to go to them. Your dh can take your baby if that's what he wants to do but I don't think I could go knowing how disinterested they are.
It's easy to say at my age but important I think. What happens at Christmas usually?

I would ask them, or have DH ask them. Hey mum, have you noticed you don't ever come to our house? we'd love to see you, and with the baby we can't always come to yours. Would you like to find a date? Or is there something I've missed, is there a reason you want to stay at your house, or something you don't like about our place?

Try curiosity not judgement.

Who knows, one of them might have, say, a gastro problem, that means they need to stay near a toilet discreetly and feel worried about being out of their environment or at someone else's place.

Also if they are just miserable and uninterested this calls them out nicely

Match their energy OP. Just see them if you want to, don't bother if you don't.