To wonder if coincidences actually exist?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

Sometimes things happen that seem way too unlikely to be random… running into an old friend in a foreign country, thinking about someone just before they call or events lining up in a way that feels almost planned. Some people say it’s just probability, while others believe in fate, synchronicity or even something spiritual. AIBU to think that maybe there’s more to it than just chance?

I think you've misunderstood the term 'coincidence'. It doesn't mean anything more than 'unlikely or surprising things happening at the same time without any causal relationship'. You happened to run into a friend from Runcorn on the street in Tbilisi. You happened to be thinking about your grandmother when you heard she'd died. You happened to wear the same outfit to the wedding as your cousin. You happened to show up late to a work event at the same time as a colleague you'd always found attractive and now you're married.

YABU because most things that seem like they have some meaning really are just low probability events that happened to occur. Bumping into an old friend in a foreign country, unlikely but it is just a random event, how many days of your life did you not just bump into them for comparison? I am a firm believer in logic over emotion, everything has cause and effect, and highly unlikely does not mean impossible.

Coincidences happen all the time. That's all they are though.

The funny thing about coincidences is they sometimes happen.

I get the logic side of it and I know improbable doesn’t mean impossible. I just think sometimes the timing or layering of certain moments feels weirdly aligned.

Not saying there’s a grand plan but I’m not sure it’s just randomness either. It’s more about how it feels in the moment than proving a cosmic spreadsheet exists.

I think it’s something spiritual

I think that many people align a sense of their own intellect with a disbelief in Spirituality. I think that many of those people frequent this site.

I'm not one of them however, I believe that many apparently coincidental occurrences are directed by something which is supernatural/spiritual in nature. If this makes me appear as something other than intelligent then frankly, so be it.

If there was no such thing as "coincidence" then there wouldn't be a word for it.

That’s exactly what the OP thinks it means

Of course they exist. That’s factual.

are they pre-destined? - that’s opinion.

personally I dont think so

Well, the credulous, superstitious nonsense (often with terrible SPaG) that gets posted on 'woo' threads on here would certainly tend to encourage the belief that there's an inverse correlation between intellect and 'woo'.

If a feather appears in your environs, it's more likely to suggest a bird in the vicinity than a message from the dead/ a passing guardian angel. If your granny's favourite song comes on the radio the day of her funeral, that's a nice coincidence, or your auntie having called in a request, rather than her signalling that her liking for prog rock continues beyond the grave.

No, she asks in her title if coincidences actually exist. Which suggests she doesn't understand the term coincidence.

I think the word the OP meant was synchronicity.

Spirituality and 'woo' aren't synonymous. I'm surprised that you are seemingly unable to recognise the distinction.

Coincidences are a mathematical inevitability. What would be the chances that you never met anyone you ever knew on a trip abroad,anywhere,anytime?

Ian Newton, the mathematician, ran into someone from his office while he was on holiday on a small beach on the west of Ireland. He, like most others, thought it was coincidence. But he then started looking at it from a scientific point of view. He took the week before and after that and looked at where he had been. He then contacted everyone he knew to find out where they were on those days. He found that on each of those days, someone he knew was in the same place as him. So, while the odds of running into 'Tim from the Office' are incredibly low, the odds of running into 'Someone I know' are actually quite high. Coincidences are more likely than people realize. It's the exact same as the Birthday Paradox. People are just naturally really bad at thinking about probability.