To not know what to do about husband

[Maireadsmisery]

I have had a difficult time with my husband. I caught him out sexting someone a year and a half ago. Then I discovered that he had also been messaging another female ‘friend’ who claimed that she was in love with him. Both confirmed they were not sleeping together. I have recently found out they are messaging again but neither are revealing what is going on, my husband maintains that him telling me they are just friends is sufficient info and that i have no right to be suspicious. I disagreed so I have moved out. He has been suffering for a long time with his mental health and has self harmed. should I help from
afar, try to patch things up or just move on?

Honestly, move on. Life is too short.

Move on. If you have no children, block his number and get a divorce.

come on OP, you’re not silly, you know what to do.

Move on

If he can't be honest with you then what's the point

It's fine that he's got female friends, but he obviously sees at least some of them as potential partners, and they've sexted with a married man

Do you really want or need him in your life?

And what has he done to improve his own mental health?

Do you have DC together?

Either way it's not the first time he's done this and although no one on here can say for sure if anything is going on it's no more than I'd expect that both your DH and his DF said they weren't sleeping together.

A year and a half ago you first caught your DH, wonder if there's times he hasn't been caught, and in another year and a half if he's still doing this that'll be 3 years of your life spent with a man that finds this behaviour acceptable....how many years are you prepared for him to continue to treat you with such little respect?

Move on and try to put this behind you.

Yep, move on. You know this.

His poor mental health and self-harming does mean you have to put up with him cheating on you, which is what he's doing. He's sexted at least one woman and is having an affair (I strongly doubt they're telling the truth about not having slept together, but even if they haven't, confessions of love etc still adds up to a hell of a betrayal) with another. And those are just the ones you know about.

He's not going to stop doing this. He's treating you like shit and this doesn't sound like a marriage worth saving. How in a million years are you ever going to be able to trust him when he's repeatedly done this to you?

Bin him.

He's cheating on you.

Please move on OP and heal from this marriage. He is not safe for you, you must be full of anxiety.
I couldn't live like this, your self-esteem must be shattered.
You deserve better.

Move on.

just move on
once they’ve mentally left the marriage there’s no trust left
don’t waste more of your life trying to fix it
ask me how I know

"He has been suffering for a long time with his mental health and has self harmed. should I help from afar, try to patch things up or just move on?"

Your marriage is dead in the water because of his serial cheating, his mental health is his own responsibility not yours - move on. Get the divorce proceedings started ASAP.

Move on. He fucked the marriage, he can deal with the consequences. Cheating toerag.

Run

Move on - he's made his own bed, etc. You have some residual caring feelings regarding his mental health, but only he can do the necessary work to prevent his own decline in that regard. You are not responsible for his wellbeing, nor can you change his actual feelings in any real way.

Women are not rehabilitation centres for broken men.

He cheated on you repeatedly. Move on, he os not your problem or responsibility.

Life is to short - get a divorce before he ends up having a full blown affair. You can do better.

Move on. Why make all his bullshit yours? He clearly doesn’t care about you.

You've done the hard bit, you've moved out. His behaviour and his mental health is his responsibility. You're not his nurse, his therapist or his doormat.

Move on.

Thank you all so so much. I know in my heart that your advice is the only way, just really needed to hear it. We do have children and he is breadcrumbing me. We once had a great relationship so it’s hard to let go and build a new identity that is not his wife, thank you!