Or are new things shit

[ChangerMonNom]

Trying to make some positive midlife changes (approaching 50) over the past year, most of which have been entirely shit.

Examples:

-decided to widen my cooking repertoire
-action: took a cookery course and attempted to try one new online recipe a week
-outcome: hated everything I made on the course and it was a faff. Online recipes came out wrong, wasted money. Went back to old favourites

-decided to refresh my wardrobe
-action: had a stylist consultation
-outcome: hated all the clothes, went back to old favourites

-decided to refresh makeup
-action: paid for department store beauty consultation
-outcome: take a wild guess and now I have a load of stuff sitting in my makeup bag I will never wear

I've also done a wine course to broaden my tastes (didn't like any of the wines tasted, forgot everything I learned in a few weeks, back to drinking regular stuff), tried to like podcasts (don't) and embrace new Spotify recommendations (urgh).

So do I just give up, admit I'm never going to like anything new, and enjoy the next half of my life cooking the same Jamie Oliver sausage bake, in skinny jeans, wearing Maybelline and drinking M&S Pinot Noir while listening to my playlist created in 2016?

And why are all the new things shit?

(Serious request also for any not-shit cookery revelations, clothing updates, makeup brands, mid-week red wines and podcasts...although I'll probably hate them)

I think your tastes are probably well established now and unless you make discoveries organically maybe what you’ve been trying was too much of a change and a step too far. Was there a particular reason why you dove in to try these new things and the things you chose to explore? And kudos to you for attempting in the first place. Food, wine and makeup are such personal things, maybe try and incorporate the odd new thing rather than a lot together. I don’t cook anywhere near as much as I used it but mascarpone or crème fraiche in mashed potatoes with salt is lush 🙂

One of the great things about middle age is that you give less of a fuck what anyone else thinks!

So if you like those things, enjoy them and don’t feel bad about them.

Also, if you wait long enough, fashions will come round again and voila! You’re ahead of the trend.

In all the examples you give you seem to have tried discarding everything you have built up over you lifetime that relates to your own choice, taste and experience.

And tried replacing it with other people's perceptions of what you should be liking according to fashion or their choices.

And what is fashionable or other people's choices often really and truly doesn't represent what is " us".

I think you are better to go back to what you know you like yourself but just try experimenting and incorporating small changes, introducing a new thing here and there, modifying some things in your life, rather than bringing in a blanket change based in other peoples opinions.

Just take it as a positive that your old favourites are precisely that because you have good taste honed by years of experience! You know what works and if it makes you happy, fantastic. You can always try a new book, film or walk for some free novelty in your life

Sadly I think you may be right, but gradual changes could work. I'm most disappointed about the makeup really. I currently wear a Maybelline foundation, mascara, blusher and grey eyeshadow set, but the makeup artist tried a load of bronzy Glossier, Huda and Hourglass (!?!) and honest to god I looked like a clown.

Ok, so one change I made was I stopped wearing face powder as it really is ageing. It took me WEEKS to come to terms with the new shiny look.

maybe I’m not good with change (maybe you’re not?) 🤷‍♀️😬

Nobody is taking me away from my face power!

(By Terry Hyaluronic, the white pressed translucent one)

FWIW I'm in my 20s and my powder is the one makeup item I couldn't be without

Some people struggle with change more than others and it seems you leapt in excited but then found your were uncomfortable or disappointed with the results and have now written it off as a bad experience. Maybe what you need is more subtle changes so it's more a gentle addition to the comfort zone than totally new. Learning what things your not keen on and figuring out why is still a very useful process.

Possibly the make up items you've bought would be ok when not applied in the exact way as demo or if alongside your usual make up. It's hard as how our brains view ourselves in the mirror often doesn't marry up with how others see us.

I found i have to up the playback speed on podcasts and wordy YouTube videos so my mind stays focused otherwise it gets boring. I still prefer music to podcasts.

Enjoy the things you know you like.If you want to learn something new, then choose something new!

As for cooking, think of a restaurant meal you’ve enjoyed from a cuisine you’ve never cooked. Look up a recipe online and give it a go. I cook a lot of middle eastern food since I went to Ottolenghi’s (other much cheaper Middle Eastern restaurants are available!)

Try volunteering. That way you will be occupied, will have the boost of doing something really worthwhile and will be helped to see things in proportion ..... you are trying to revamp your life by tinkering with stuff that does not need tinkering with.

You need to be more radical. I changed career at 50. That did the trick.

I agree with the sentiment that you have honed your tastes to what suits you.

Go to restaurants to try new food; you are never going to reproduce what a professional chef who has all the skills and extensive ingredients to hand.

Clothes are basically to keep the weather out and provide pockets to carry your stuff in IMO.

My brother worked for a wine company and became very proficient at knowing all about different tastes and food pairings and all that, and concluded that he knows what he likes so he just drinks what he likes.

I suppose the fundamental question is, why do you feel you need to make changes? Are you just bored with your life?

Ahh @Mischance see I already volunteer and had a career change 3 years ago, both of which I love. And I picked up a new instrument which I'm still playing. But now I'm just focusing on adding more to the little joys (style, food, wine) but seemingly getting nowhere!

Has anyone got any good recipe book/website recommendations? My dalliances with MOB and RecipeTinEats were expensive and disappointing...

Why do I feel the need to make changes? Hmm, I suppose I just feel in a bit of a style and hobbies (hate that word) rut and would like to feel a bit more attractive, a bit more on-the-pulse and a bit more interesting and accomplished. It's probably rather vain, but there we go

Someone mentioned Ottolenghi. I always used to feel in awe/rather daunted by his recipes. I have recently discovered that you can buy a selection of pastes, marinades and spice mixes in jars from them (either direct or via Waitrose I think). They make it really easy to create great Middle Eastern inspired dishes without a whole lot of faff! There are recipes on the website for inspiration.