Daughters first birthday

[Lynsey953]

Hello, so it's my daughter's first birthday on Saturday. I've just gone back to work and as myself and my husband are working opposite shifts I had wanted it just to be our little family celebrating as we haven't seen each other in a month due to our opposing work schedules.

This has upset grandparents which I hadn't realised when we decided this was what we wanted to do however I have bent and even though I seriously cannot be bothered, I am doing brunch for grandparents in the morning after her first nap.

However this has upset aunts. I purposefully did not want to have a birthday party as she is 1 and I don't see the point. We live in a small house and I don't have room to host everyone. She was just recently christened and had a party then. Am I being unreasonable to be like no?!

If I extend to aunts I should really extend to great grandparents and then I may as well have had a party! I just want to shut the door with my little family and relax for the day but that appears to not be on the agenda for everyone else.

I should also add that I have OCD (which is exhausting in itself) but my mother in law has told me that I'm just trying to control everything. Isn't that normal for the mother of a young family?

I'm exhausted. Someone help me please!

It's for them, not for the baby, who won't even know it's their birthday. Tell them it's just the three of you, cos you need time together, and you're knackered anyway. Stuff 'em. Hope you have a lovely time 😊

What your MIL means is that she wants to be in control and you aren't letting her!

Of course you're in control of who comes in your house and when, whether you host a party, and what happens for your child's birthday.

Sympathies OP. I’m always shocked when I read mumsnet how worked up people get about other people’s events.

All you can do is rationally explain you’re keeping it low key.

Honestly fuck em

I didn’t have a first birthday for my toddler. I had the same thought, she has no idea it’s her birthday so what’s the point.
Which then began the “oh but the party is for you to celebrate surviving the first year”
But I don’t want to celebrate like that….

I know it’s hard but you just have to stay strong and say no to aunts, cousins and the neighbour down the road.
It’s not a wedding and everything doesn’t need to a big pretty party so it can go on social media.

Im petty so if my MIL continued complaining my DD would be ‘sick’ the day before her brunch and have to cancel the whole thing

”One party per year is enough for us and we did it recently for DD’s christening. I will let you know about next year. Thanks for thinking of us.”

And don’t take comments from anyone.

Learn to say “this is what is” and stand firm on that. It makes life easier.