Pamper party for a 6 year old?!

[Worriemummy]

My DD is turning 6 in a month and we asked her this weekend if she would like a party and if yes, what? In the past we’ve had bouncy castles or a tea party at home. The school parties so far have been magicians, bouncy castles, soft play etc. I was expecting something like that but no…she wanted a spa party.

apparently this is a thing now, she had the idea from a Disney programme called fancy Nancy (that she loves). A quick google showed that you hire a company to come to the house for an about 5-10 children and they give them glitter tattoos, paint nails etc. it can be for girls and boys.

im not sure how I feel about this. On one hand she very much wants it and it is very her, but she’s only 6?! I still thought we were in the magicians and pass the parcel period of life. Or am I being silly?

what do you think?

pamper party or not?

I’d say life inappropriate rather than age inappropriate. 4 yrs old?!

But thats just depressing no? As an adult I don’t think ‘the best time ever’ is to put my feet in warm water and have someone do my nails. It’s just what girls say when they’re being conditioned to be ‘little ladies’

Fucking hell, tell me this isn’t real? 5 and 6 and having a party where they do their makeup and nails? What message are you giving your girls?

Why would you hire someone to do that, though? It’s really not hard to get all that, ask a handful of mums to stay and do it yourself.

My daughter went to a party like this at around that age. I think it’s pretty harmless. They’re just playing.

But how would you know if your 6 year old had contact allergies with common face mask or cosmetic ingredients? Presumably most six year olds have only had baby and children gentle products on their skin?

I don’t really have an issue with it at 6 per se, but I wouldn’t want any skin care that might trigger allergies for sensitive skin.

We did hall and bouncy castle at that age with glitter tattoos and face painting.

You can still do tattoos, nail painting and perhaps those glitter hair accessories in a hall with soft play or bouncy castle etx

Updated

I have booked the local village hall with a bouncy castle (and some soft play for younger siblings).

we've got a magician who does party games coming and a lady who does face painting and glitter tattoos!

hopefully she’ll love it! I am planning on making a Barbie themed cake with icing nail varnishes etc as a compromise! 😂😂

Should I have turned down the invites? My daughter was invited and really enjoyed the parties!! When I say make up, it's nail varnish and face gems etc and little clip in coloured hair extensions, bit of glitter etc.

My DD is going to one of these soon but she’s 8.

One dd went to a pamper party at 6yo it was ina cute little tea house, a company came and did mini mani pedis, all the girls wrapped in pink robes, bonnets on and if they wanted a bit of a glitter face, then a hair do and they played games like who knows the most about the party girl, colouring and then had a cute afternoon tea.

Another DD did a nail afternoon before heading off to a nice restaurant to be waited on. To be fair the parents worked at the restaurant so the staff went OTT on making a big deal of the birthday girl and friends.

I know my friend who is an ex beauty therapist and has loads of skills and kits considered doing something similar to earn a bit of money when she was on maternity leave.

The same message I got watching my mother curl her hair and apply crazy blue eye shadow back in the 80s and the same message my mother got from her mum in the 50s with her big bouffant and eye winged eyeliner and so on and so on right back to the start of civilisation when people started applying cosmetics.

And before you start, it’s the same for men, teddie boys, quiffs, (1950s) gelled back and side partings (1920s), pudding bowl haircut (medieval times) the same with facial hair trends (Charlie Chaplin, Salvador’s Dali, Tom Selleck…)

So give it a rest on girls these days rubbish fgs!

You could always say you can put pamper stuff in party bags. I did this one year, we did the big class party as I wanted to include the whole year but there were very distinct bags, the girls had toe dividers, mini nail boards, nail stickers, fruity lip balms ( you can also get eye masks). The boys were things I knew the boys in the class liked, mainly cars and dinosaurs.

Before anyone jumps at me the boys were definitely happy with their bags and the girls theirs, it a very girly v boy class. I’m one of those mums that always dose extra bags so there were plenty to exchange if anyone wanted too, they didn’t.

Why is it such a bad thing to be “into your looks” on here?!

I am “into my looks”. I like make up, getting my nails done, going to the spa. Getting all dressed up for a night out. I’m also a solicitor and i play hockey.

I mean it’s hardly held me back or made me feel like my only role in life is to sit and look pretty. One party isn’t going to do that. If your girls grow up to believe they are simply ornaments then that’s for far deeper reasons than a princess pamper party at age 6.

It was a thing 25 years ago when I had one too

Oh and I have girls. My youngest (8) LOVES her make up but my 11 year old could not be less interested. Both are being raised to have strength and substance but the way that you present yourself in public is important too (not that that necessarily means make up but being groomed and neat and clean is important, despite how much the “I haven’t ironed my clothes since 1993” lot on here would argue otherwise…)

The party is for her and not you, if that’s what she wants to do then why not. I think Yabu.

I feel a bit funny about a full on pamper party for a 6yo. Think you've reached a good compromise OP. I liked nail varnish or being allowed a pop of my mum's lipstick to look in the mirror when I was 6. Not sure I'd have sat through a whole mini spa event.

The Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique style one mentioned upthread sounds great for young princess fans though.

I always go on what my child would like to do, as it should be the birthday child’s choice.

My DD is 4, she loves us doing our hair and nails together at home, she’d love to get an invite to a pamper party. Some children generally prefer calmer activities than boisterous ones.

You can get nail polish which is gentle and washes off after a day. A foot soak in bubbly water is fun, let them have a go using a proper foot bath or foot massager if you have one. You can make very gentle face masks, cucumber slices on eyes…just check if anyone is allergic to anything. I agree about having some other activities, and everything can be optional. Good luck!

Yes exactly. Most 6YOs haven’t put anything on their faces other than face paint and then removed it with a baby wipe. I still don’t know what mine actually reacted to and if it was an allergy per se or the specific mixing of products. So if DD was invited to another one and was asked about allergies then I don’t know what I’d say actually. Probably decline unless it was a close friend and if it was then I might consider a non drowsy antihistamine right before and then hoping for the best??

Separately OP I think your update sounds perfect and they’ll have a lovely time!

Hard no. Girls are always socialised to be pretty and be kind etc I would not be doing this. Take them to Rush or something.

Sounds like you've planned a lovely party for her. If she's still set on the pamper party idea, maybe arrange a play date where you do different hairstyles, temporary tattoos etc. At least that way you can pick a friend who would enjoy this sort of thing and who's parents won't object.

It is normal now. Every time I have gone to Boots in the last couple of years there have been groups of children buying skin products. Seven year olds buying active ingredients for eyebags. Girls under ten buying foundation& getting stressed about it. Buying top end cost products too. The preteen make-up industry is now worth billions. Just another thing for children to feel anxious about to make money. Make up and glitter can be a valuable art and craft activity and you are probably doing it alongside a whole load of other party activities. But the craze for organised beauty parlour visits with robes and face masks etc are just commercial ventures.

One party isn't going to do it. But it isn't one party in isolation. We are so caught up in the process of consumerism we are missing what it is doing to us. Companies use psychology to induce anxiety as a marketing tool. Anxious people spend money. Phone apps are brilliant at reinforcing this technique and they are ever present. Trends spread, create pressure, guilt & big profits. Children's health deteriorates. It works so well that people who are experiencing it will defend it.

A small pamper party isn’t going to break the bank, as for the op talking about the makeup industry etc you would have to blame the parents there for allowing the kids to buy the expensive products!