It's a Christmas one...

[Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself]

We usually spend Christmas with one set of parents or the other alternating although we spent last Christmas at home without family. It's stressful and a lot of travel and we usually see the other family around the festive period too.

PIL often spend Christmas with their other children or with friends if we aren't there.

My sibling usually spends Christmas with my DPs.

However this year my sibling is going away for work and won't be around over the whole Christmas period. My DPs will therefore be alone, extended family are either dead, unwell or too far away.

PIL are putting pressure on us to spend Christmas with them as we haven't for two years, but they won't be alone whereas my DPs will.

Wwyd?

I’d have my parents over, parents and in laws if I was feeling generous. But then I do not respond well to people ‘putting the pressure on’ and it would make me more stubborn to not do what the in laws want 😄

If I was you I would 100% be having Christmas in my own home, and those who wish to can come to me.

Spend it with your parents who need the company more than your PIL do this time round.

PIL should understand that if it's them another year who need the altering of The Schedule to ensure they're not alone then you would do it then, too.

but this year it's your parents who need it

Have you explained the issue to your PILs? I would be a bit miffed if they went out and about and left us alone after we had travelled to spend time with them. Surely them can wait a other year.

As it's just the two of them, can your parent come to you?

No one will come to us unfortunately

Oh that might be different then? Are you sure your parents WANT the company or might the actually appreciate a Christmas to themselves?

PIL will not understand and will likely make lots of digs and comments and be difficult to be around, unfortunately

No I don't think they want it to themselves. Well, certainly not DM. Their relationship is strained.

Sorry I think I might have given you the wrong idea, not sure what you mean by out and about

I don't think my DP will come to me, no. I can ask but it's a long way and they find the drive exhausting in their 80s.

I think DPs will probably book Christmas dinner out somewhere if we aren't with them.

They haven't hosted in years.

So if they won't come to you and won't host, how will you spend it with them?

We would probably cook at their house, and stay locally in a hotel.

DH is going to message MIL asking about their plans...