How often do you buy your kids toys?

EmmaThompsonsTears · 2025-09-15T18:58:46+00:00

My eldest is 4 and STBexH used to buy him a new toy every time he did the weekly shop (they were about £1.50 so he didn’t see the problem, said it was like buying a magazine but actually cheaper). Now he’s randomly buying him bigger toys too - they won’t be worth more than £20, but they’re the sorts of things I’d only give for Christmas and birthdays. AIBU to worry about DS being spoilt? Is he going to grow up not knowing the value of toys, if he gets them all the time for no reason? I also worry slightly that once we’re divorced, these sorts of toys will be all I can afford for birthdays and christmases. And if ex-h has devalued them by giving them willy nilly, I worry that they won’t feel as special to DS. Any thoughts welcome! (Also, appreciate I can’t control this, just want to know if I’m being unreasonable to worry)

smallpinecone · 15/09/2025 20:05

Birthdays and Christmas, in the main.

My brother asked a few weeks ago why my children were better behaved on an outing than his two - every single shop they go into, he’s nagged to buy something, and he does, mainly to keep them quiet and stop the whining. But he can’t take them anywhere without them expecting toys and treats. He’s made a rod for his own back, unfortunately, and the kids don’t appreciate these things because there’s no novelty factor.

RidingMyBike · 15/09/2025 20:07

Birthdays or Christmas. And, at that age, for successfully completing the reward chart.

cramptramp · 15/09/2025 20:12

My children only got toys on birthdays or Christmas. If they got a really good school report or similar they got a book. They really appreciated and looked forward to getting toys and presents. Getting something on a regular basis is pointless.

Tattletail · 15/09/2025 20:16

Mainly birthdays and Christmas. But if we go on a special day out and they have birthday money left over I'll let them get themselves something. Mine don't really play with toys that much so I am getting more stingy with buying them 😬

Ihaveoflate · 15/09/2025 20:18

Birthdays and Christmas only, plus one of those magazines with the free plastic tat at the beginning of each school holiday.

My 6 year old gets £1 a week pocket money to spend on what she likes. She's happy with charity shop bargains - a little goes a long way!

Justcallmedaffodil · 15/09/2025 20:19

smallpinecone · 15/09/2025 20:05

Birthdays and Christmas, in the main.

My brother asked a few weeks ago why my children were better behaved on an outing than his two - every single shop they go into, he’s nagged to buy something, and he does, mainly to keep them quiet and stop the whining. But he can’t take them anywhere without them expecting toys and treats. He’s made a rod for his own back, unfortunately, and the kids don’t appreciate these things because there’s no novelty factor.

I don’t agree with this. Children can learn to appreciate what they have whether that happens to be a lot or a little. If you have to rely on the novelty factor to force gratitude then that’s equally poor parenting IMO.

With DS(6) we tend to save bigger presents for Christmas and birthdays, but as his birthday is in January we also tend to do smaller gifts throughout the year that we’ll loosely tie to good behaviours e.g. positive school reports, sporting achievements, etc. He also gets weekly pocket money on his GoHenry card that he can spend as and when he wants.

FuzzyWolf · 15/09/2025 20:21

I buy mine loads but they never nag or expect them, and they do appreciate them.

Lollytea655 · 15/09/2025 20:21

We do the big stuff at Christmas & birthdays but we do buy toys throughout the year as well- not every week though.

I would say especially at 4 I wouldn’t worry too much, they don’t really judge toys by their value but more so how fun they are. My nephew last year got a £25 building set and a £100 train set- it wasn’t the £100 that was the favourite!

I think having a spoilt child is just as much about how they are raised as it is about how much stuff they have. You can have a child with ridiculous amounts of stuff who is really grateful and does not expect anything, and you can also have a child who isn’t typically spoilt but has the attitude of it.

Bushmillsbabe · 15/09/2025 20:27

Birthdays, Christmas, and as a well done for an achievement. They can also earn money for household chores above their usual ones - they both have a small chore as their responsibility - takes max 10 mins per week. And they can spend this earnt money on what they wish. The only rules are they cannot spend more than 50p on sweets, and they have to earn it before spending it, no 'I'll pay you back'. I often find by time they have earnt it they no longer want that item.

Nagnagbag · 15/09/2025 20:29

Birthday and Christmas. Eldest (also 4) loves Lego, and he gets a Lego magazine once a month as well. We go and buy it then go to a cafe for a babyccino and make the Legonand do the puzzles. The monthly magazine rule was put in place to stop him from begging for things every time we go out. I can’t bear the begging for stuff, I find it so uncomfortable!

We are really fortunate to be in a position where we could buy them more, but I really worry about spoiling them, so have had to work hard on my husband to stop him randomly buying stuff all the time. I strongly think it’s bad for children to constantly receive new things. I’d be upset in your situation and definitely try and come to a compromise with XH if that’s possible.

Heyhiitsme · 15/09/2025 20:38

Quite frequently tbh - we do a lot of days out at the weekend which seem to end in a nice gift shop or a toy shop. I justify it by A) it not being tat, B) DS not having siblings to share with so the overall toy pool is smaller and C) he’s not naggy about it.

Autumn1990 · 15/09/2025 20:43

Every couple of weeks I’ve a house full of toys. They do happily play for hours though so it’s worth it.

CinnamonBuns67 · 15/09/2025 20:57

Birthdays and Christmas only. Yanbu to be worried but can't do anything unfortunately.

Original poster

EmmaThompsonsTears · 15/09/2025 22:50

Lollytea655 · 15/09/2025 20:21

We do the big stuff at Christmas & birthdays but we do buy toys throughout the year as well- not every week though.

I would say especially at 4 I wouldn’t worry too much, they don’t really judge toys by their value but more so how fun they are. My nephew last year got a £25 building set and a £100 train set- it wasn’t the £100 that was the favourite!

I think having a spoilt child is just as much about how they are raised as it is about how much stuff they have. You can have a child with ridiculous amounts of stuff who is really grateful and does not expect anything, and you can also have a child who isn’t typically spoilt but has the attitude of it.

This is really reassuring thank you 🙏🏻 he certainly appreciates all the things he’s given - hopefully with the right level of parenting around it, he always will

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Original poster

EmmaThompsonsTears · 15/09/2025 22:53

CinnamonBuns67 · 15/09/2025 20:57

Birthdays and Christmas only. Yanbu to be worried but can't do anything unfortunately.

This is a really good summary thank you 😂 I completely agree. It’s not worth raising because ex will just see it as controlling and bite back some other way, but thank you for the validation about the worry, it was needed ❤️

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Crispynoodle · 15/09/2025 23:02

Birthdays and Christmas then in the summer at the beginning of the holidays a huge set of crafting stuff for the rainy days. Now I have DGC if any of them so much as asked for a brand new porche I would get it for them!

Original poster

EmmaThompsonsTears · 15/09/2025 23:13

Crispynoodle · 15/09/2025 23:02

Birthdays and Christmas then in the summer at the beginning of the holidays a huge set of crafting stuff for the rainy days. Now I have DGC if any of them so much as asked for a brand new porche I would get it for them!

Hahaha that’s another issue entirely - SO spoiled by the grandparents!

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