Wtf. Am I going mad?

[LolaMontez92]

Back story - 2dc, 7yo DD & 5yo DS.
Split with their dad 3yrs ago. We share 50/50 custody.

back in June, DD told me that her dad leaves her and her younger brother in the house alone whilst he goes out for a run or walks the dogs. DS corroborated the story when asked separately.

ex also got caught (by my partner) leaving the children in his vehicle whilst he did a weekly shop at a large supermarket (kids def out of line of sight). my partner saw ex in the supermarket without the children. They came home a few days later, and said that they’d seen my partner at Sainsbury’s and that they were in the truck whilst daddy did the shopping…

I got school & SS involved for guidance on this and they said that if ex was unable to provide reassurance that the children were not being left unattended, then I was well within my rights to not allow him to take them into his care. He also knows this. They also said that they believed the children’s version of events as they were able to recount the details and all the “rules” he had given them. My daughter was also really upset about the idea of there being a fire and her jot being able to get everyone out and because she is the eldest this responsibility would fall on her.

fast forward to one week ago, he messages me (I had the kids) and said: “Can you ask kiddos if they would rather go to [childcare] for a couple of hours or come to work with me and watch a film in the truck?
They had chosen to come but want to make sure.”

so then obviously I questioned him on this and he wouldn’t give me an answer as to where they were going (he works on a lot of building sites but also sometimes rurally), if he would be able to see them at all times etc. Long and short I said no you’re not having them, they can go to childcare and you can fetch them from there after work.

roll around to last night, he’s said is not longer paying maintenance and he has put the wheels in motion for us to go to mediation so that I can’t “prevent him from collecting the children and ruin his plans”.

Now I don’t know what planet he is actually on, but

1. what’s the actual point of going to mediation in this case?
   I am happy to and lay all this out on the table to a third party but my question is what is he likely to gain from this?

2. is anything likely to come from it in terms of them saying I can’t protect my children in this manner?

3. should I get legal support/representation?

I’m a bit thrown by it all tbh and not sure what to expect.

thoughts and insights appreciated.

Him using withdrawal of maintenence because he's trying to force your arm with contact isn't going to help him in the way he feels it might. He's looking for court ordered childcare plan, not mediation. Attend if you like, I would only do so when you've sought legal advice from a solicitor so you know exactly where you stand.

From my understanding it’s ’good’ to go to mediation (whether it works or not) in case it goes to court as it shows you’ve tried to come to a resolution amicably. What he does or doesn’t agree to is his business.

At the end of the day your concerns are not unreasonable, it’s neglectful especially when the children describe to you how they’re not comfortable in those situations.

I do intend to go, out of curiosity more than anything and also in the hope that my concerns are once again heard by a third party/outsider.

I guess I’m asking a bit of an impossible question as I’m trying to understand what angle he’s trying. It just seems mad to me that he wants to go knowing this will come up and surely all the details of his behaviour will be discussed. He clearly truly believes he’s doing nothing wrong