To allow my daughter to get piercings?

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My daughter is 16. She has now left school after a horrendously stressful time with school refusal. She recently started college and is really liking it, I’m delighted to say. She attends every day and has made some new friends, after being socially isolated (due to the school refusal). Things seem to be on the up.
I think she sees college as a chance to express herself. She has since had a small nose piercing done and her tongue pierced (ears were pierced a couple of years ago!). She did all the research into reputable places, saved the money herself and has been taking the hygiene/aftercare side of things seriously.
She doesn’t want to stop there though, and wants to have a couple more facial piercings done, e.g. her brow and lip (well, maybe not her lip exactly, but the area above or below). I’ve had the chat with her about it being too soon for several piercings all at once, but she’s adamant that it’s her body, her choice. I just feel she’s a bit too young for all this and that she should pace herself. Here in Scotland anyway, parental consent is not required at this age.
AIBU?

My dd had her eyebrow and below her lip pierced at sixteen too. She took them out after about twenty months and they made her really pleased at the time. She mustn’t have needed permission either as she didn’t have it.

Thank you! I’m not sure if I’m being too soft, but I’m wary of rocking the boat when things are finally going well for us. Pick your battles, as they say.

Yes. You are. She's 16. She can take them out later and that's fine.
It's more important she's finding a place she feels she fits in and is accepted. You need to give her the autonomy with this and then when she wants to do something else you really don't like you can discuss it together and you have more bargaining power. (I mean my daughter's 8 so it's not quite the same but - yes you can have your ears pierced. It's your body your choice and I'm fine with that. No you can't have Snapchat or a phone. )

I had lots of piercings at sixteen. By 18 I'd taken them all out! It's totally fine and very normal.

Fair enough. I’m happy to be told I’m being unreasonable, because I honestly had no idea!

She plans on taking them out in a couple of years anyway, for going to Drama school.
Thanks everyone - I appreciate the replies.

I wouldn’t allow it. I wonder if the school would permit it anyway? She’s a child still and she’s too young for such an extreme look and they could leave scars if she takes them out later.
Teen years are for experimenting with hair, clothes, make up - not for making permanent changes!

Here in Scotland anyway, parental consent is not required at this age

And there is your answer. If they don’t work out, or over time and no longer wanted, they will be removed, no big deal. I really doubt she will be running for Prime Minister or similar in the next 4 years or so🙄.

I had one who had more holes than body at one point. By mid 20’s they only had nose piercings. Was not a hill to die on.

I’d be trying to dissuade her. I know 2 people that have very noticeable scars from eyebrow piercings.

But in all fairness to her, it’s not really a permanent change like a tattoo.
She’s no longer at school as I mentioned in my OP. College up here doesn’t mean Sixth Form College, like in England.

I wanted to have my brow done years ago, when I researched it at the time it looked like I might be left with a small mark from the holes if I ever got tired of it - I didn't fancy that, and your dd might not either if she wants to act. Still, piercings generally come out more easily than tattoos!

I wouldn't have a problem with piercings. They can mostly be removed and as she said her body her choice.

I would find tattoos a bit more difficult as these are permanent.

I've had this conversation with my nearly 16 year old. I've said yes to second ear hole and helix, though she's not sure about those ATM. And eyebrow when she leaves school. No to tongue and septum. I also said yes to to belly button but she rides and feels that that would be uncomfortable.

She had her ears done at 10, and then stopped wearing earrings for a few years.

It wouldn’t bother me especially as she has done research, she is just expressing herself and finding out who she is.

Yes, that’s it.

She doesn't need your permission but it's a sign of maturity she's seeking it so I'd support her and agree. I mean the alt is she says well tough I'm having it done anyway and you've lost your approachability.

At 16 it’s fine.

She had a rotten time at school and is making up for it now. I’d leave her be.

(Also in Scotland, so get the college thing)

I would feel the same as you because let’s face it we all make silly decisions as teens that we later regret , but some leave permanent scars - like facial piercings.
I guess I’d have a conversation that gave her the control, ie point out you’re leaving her to make her own decision on it but before she makes up her mind, you want to point out your concerns (eg permanent hole/scar on her lip that she may regret in years to come) and then it’s up to her to make what she feels is the best decision.

If she wants an eyebrow piercing I'd suggest she goes to the same place that did her tongue, its worth paying a bit extra for because there's a large nerve that controls feeling to the side of the face, and you don't want some cowboy damaging it. To reduce the risk, the piercing should be placed in the outer third of the brow.
She can also buy Teflon jewellery, that prevents the holes closing up and is less noticeable than metal.

Let her do it. My parents kicked off so much at me having dermal piercings when I was 20, threatened to kick me out if I didn't get them removed etc. I got them removed and still regret/ resent it now 10 years later when I think about it. They were pretty and in a place hidden easily by most tops, so it really wasn't the big deal they made it into. It's not the hill to die on

If parental consent isn't required then I think of you've said your piece there isn't any more to discuss.

I'd go with "sounds fun! Just check it's OK with school policy and bear in mind that some piercings may scar so think carefully about facial ones"

My DD is 16 and has more holes than face at this point! I don't have an issue with it, she's also at college so no problems with school or anything and they suit her. I questioned whether I 'should' be more concerned/strict about it in the beginning but it's what she's into and I'm happy that she's finding her own style and independence tbh.

You don’t need to allow it - you don’t need parental consent. The DD is at college and they do allow students to express themselves.

OP I wouldn’t die on this hill - she is at college having a great time, hopefully finding her way for the first time in a while. Let her have the piercings - my DD has had loads she is 19 now and has let a number of-them close up! No scars to be seen! I am so pleased she is going well - this must be lovely for you, and hopefully one less thing to worry about.