to be shocked that my 9 year old dd was being teased for being a VIRGIN?

[Divastrop]

the girls who live next door but one have been bullying dd1 for weeks,along with some of the other girls from the area when they can get them to join in.but yesterday i was horrified when dd1 came in a nd told me these girls had asked if she was a virgin and laughed at her when she said 'of course,im only 9!'.the girls are 11 and 12,and the 11 year old claimed that she wasnt a virgin,and that dd was never going to get a boyfriend because she's 'ginger'(which shes not really).

am i naieve about what goes on with young girls these days or what?

I remember in Y7 or 8 at primary school some older girls coming up and saying 'Are you a virgin?' I had no idea what they meant, could only think of the virgin Mary, (was the only context I'd heard the word!) so said 'No' (as I knew I wasn't the mother of Jesus) which they found incredibly funny. Had I said yes they would have laughed just as much.

So I don't think it's anything new!

The next one will be 'are you a lesbian?'. I was equally ignorant of what that meant...

I was called a lesbian at Guides when I was 11 because I didn't wear a bra yet!

They're teasing her in the worst way. Your poor dd.
I expect your dd is in primary school - are these others in secondary? If so, there is a huge jump-difference and they are picking on her to big themselves up.

do they know what it means? they prob think it is about snogging and using a tampon

Flipin heck, thats a ridiculous, what the hell, pair of right little gits by the sound of it, keep her away from them and their warped little world. I remember the girls at school talking about virgins when I was about 10 and I had no idea what one was!!!

Think this has gone on through the ages to be honest. They probably haven't got a clue themselves really! I remember being asked if I had a "pussy" when I was about 8.I said "yes" and again the same old giggling went on.

one of them is in year 7,the other is to start secondary school in september.

dd has been trying to keep away from them,she would like nothing better than for them to leave her alone,but they come up to her all the time and say nasty things.

i have spoken to their parents a couple of times but that just resulted in dd getting called a grass

I've had that when i was at school.
That type of bullying is as old as the hills.
Just need some comebacks, like if they ask your "are you a virgin" and you say "no", then ask them it back and if they say "yes", just say "Oh, you must be a bicycle".
That will get them scratching their heads.
If they ask "are you a lesbian?" and you say "no" then just ask them "are you two going to get married when you're older?".
They only ask these stupid questions because they are embarassing.

I remember being the same age and kids at school using words like this.

You could speak to the one of the teachers and suggest that you are concerned at their behaviour. So worldly at such a young age etc etc...

ripeberry-i was going to tell her to answer them back but i worried it would be wrong iykwim.but i think she is going to have to learn if shes going to survive in this world.

sadly,from what i can gather,11-12 is not that young to have 'worldly knowledge' in this area.i had a sheltered catholic upbringing you see,getting pissed at 12 was perfectly normal,but having sex was WRONG.

This is very nasty for your poor DD but I don;t think it's a matter of the Evil Sexually Aware Modern World so much as kids picking on other kids using terms that they don't properly understand themselves. I remember similar bullying a good 30 years ago when I was your DD's age, all the 'do you know what[something] is' and if you said no you were 'stupid' or 'babyish' and if you said yes you were'dirty'. It's kids getting the idea that there is this great taboo subject that adults don't want them to know or talk about, yet which is endlessly fascinating.
None of which excuses these girls bullying your DD: but the idea of her asking them equally odd questions back is quite a good one.

It isn't anything new, I was asked it years ago and then everyone has a good laugh at you. They find out what a word means and try it out on someone who doesn't.