To ask if you hide emergency funds from your partner?

[YourJadeLion]

Do you keep a secret stash of money that your partner doesn’t know about? Not necessarily for anything sinister but just as a personal safety net.

Some say it’s smart to have financial independence, while others believe it’s dishonest in a committed relationship. What do you think, sensible or sneaky?

We have entirely separate accounts, current and savings. I don’t hide the money, but he can’t access it.

Yes and No.

Yes, because I have substantial savings & investments in my own name in my own accounts to which DP has no access. No, because this isn’t a secret. He knows I have my own money, but he doesn’t know how much, and has never asked. Because it’s my money, and he respects that.

He also has his own savings & investments in his own accounts & to which I have no access. I don’t know how much he has, but I suspect it’s significantly less than me because he has a VERY expensive hobby.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I hide it because my partner is terrible with money even though he’s the main breadwinner. I have an emergency fund for us and often dip in to it without him knowing to pay for things for the kids, for him and our household. My plan is to use it up either when I have enough to clear the remainder of the mortgage or if we ever get in to a situation where he is cut off by the family business as his dad who is also his boss is very temperamental. He knows from my personality and previous behaviour of bailing him out whenever I’ve had to in the past that I have a rainy day fund but he has no idea how much it is or where it is etc etc. My partner never saves anything & in some ways I feel like this is me saving his money for him as I don’t see it as mine. I see it as ours even though he doesn’t really know about it. Having said all of that, if the need ever arose and he did something unforgivable I would be able to use it for the kids and i to rent somewhere for a short while and get on our feet.

I was advise to have a fund when I got married , wish I had when I got divorced 24 years later

This is the same for us. I have money that is separate and only I can access. I don’t think he knows anything about how much it is. He’s never asked. He knows it’s there. I keep a pot separate in case anything happens to him. He’s injured etc.. it give me easy, ready back up if he is out of action as some of our joint money would be hard to access if he was in a coma for example.