To ask if you tell your partner/husband everything?

[TheTaupeMoose]

Do you believe in complete honesty in a relationship or do you think some things are better left unsaid? I’m not talking about big betrayals or serious lies but the little things… thoughts you keep to yourself, opinions you don’t share or past experiences you don’t bring up.

Is full transparency always the best policy or do some things not need to be said?

Surely you would be constantly talking at your partner if you told them “everything”!

Well I do have to stop myself from saying how annoying he’s being….😬😆

I usually stop myself from saying “must you breathe like that?” because I fear it would not be well received…

In all seriousness though, I think there’s a difference between being honest when elicited, and offering up your opinion without being asked. For example, if DH asked me “do you think my mum is being a royal pain in the butt?” I might say “yes”, but I wouldn’t just randomly tell him that I think his mother is a pain in the butt (unless she had done something particularly aggravating).

Absolutely not. I can think of loads of things I wouldn't tell him. Starting with other people’s confidences. This is bizarrely controversial on Mumsnet-I just can’t see why.

There are a few things I don't tell my dh about, mainly because I know he just wouldn't ‘get it’ so it feels like there is no value in it.

Hardly, I forget to tell him really important things that involve him half the time 🤣

Not even close.

Yes, we're married but we're still our own people and he doesn't need to know my every thought, what a friend has told me in confidence, the exact number of people I have slept with etc.

Nope. I don't tell him everything. I don't expect him to tell me everything,We each have our own lives outside of our relationship.

Dh and I do share everything.. I don’t think there’s a standard right or wrong for marriage. I wouldn’t confide in a married friend unless I was ok with her dh knowing. My previous marriage was based on secrets and lies and it just wasn’t what I wanted this time.

Do you not feel that puts a barrier in your friendships?

Why does your DH need to know a friends personal business though? Especially if he isn't also friends with her.

Of course not - that sounds incredibly unhealthy. Yes, we're married, but we're also two independent people. There is no one person in the world I have or would ever tell "everything".

No
For example, he currently has no idea how much I'm bricking it about how after 5 years of him weekly commuting we are going to be living together full time again in a few months. Weve got used to our own space...

Plus other stuff is none of his business... like friends secrets. Same with his friends. And sometimes DDs want to discuss stuff woman to woman.

We are married but we are still individuals

Good lord no
Why on earth would I worry him with stuff that may never happen until I need to? What's the point of 2 of us being worried?

Also he has real difficulty keeping secrets so I never tell him about presents as he will (and has) give them away.

And I have my own life, some of which he has no interest in

Doesn’t everyone have some dark secrets which they wouldn’t tell anyone?