Sister and "owing" money for ticket

[PixieAndProsecco]

I know the title will make it seem like I am being unreasonable, but just looking for perspectives on my own feelings.

Around a year ago my sister and I booked three tickets to a gig, happening in the next few weeks. I booked and paid for three tickets, at £100 a ticket, for myself, my DS and my DSis. We all wanted to go and see the band. The tickets were also standing, not seated (this makes a difference). My DSis only told me after buying the ticket she didn't have the money sitting and asked if she could pay it over four payments of £25. I understood and was happy with this, we didn’t know if we'd get the tickets and so I didn't expect her to have it all sitting just in case.

Cut to 6 months ago and my DSis tells me she's booked a ticket to another music event the night before ours, in London with a friend. The issue here is that we live in Scotland.
Her friend and her spoke and decided that they would stay in London the day we were to go to our event and get the cheaper train home, which means my DSis would miss our event.

I told her she was free to do what she wanted with her ticket, sell it or just not use it. As we are standing it's not like someone would be stuck with DS and I for the evening.

Fast forward to a month ago and DSis mentioned that she couldn't find anyone to take the ticket and didn't know what she was going to do.

Last night she asked if my DH would be willing to go as the "ticket wouldn't go to waste" and he agreed because it seemed like she was offering for us to use the ticket as she couldn't sell it. Now she is asking me to transfer her the £100 straight away for her ticket as she "has made more plans and really needs the money".

Honestly, forking out an additional £100 this month was not in our budget but I've sent it as I don't like owing anyone.

However, I am annoyed at my DSis and I don't know if I am being unreasonable at being annoyed.

1. It's not my fault she would be out of pocket, she booked the other event well after and then she decided to not come home in time. It also isn't my fault she couldn't sell the ticket or she has agreed to more days and evenings out when she doesn’t have the money and is looking at this as a way of financing it.
2. At no point did she suggest she would be selling the ticket to DH, more a "it's not being used why don't you go". He never would have willingly bought a ticket to this event for himself, but neither of us wants to cause drama by saying no, after saying yes, because she expects the £100.
3. I was more than accommodating when the tickets were bought about her paying it over the installments but that isn't being reciprocated.

So yes I've paid her, because I won't have her saying I'm not paying and keeping the tickets. I also won't have her complaining that I'm paying it up, despite finances. But it has left quite a sour taste in my mouth and I don't know if that is an unreasonable response.

But surely you or your DH said ‘Sorry, my misunderstanding, thought you were offering it for free. No, I don’t want to pay £100 to see a band I’m not interested in.’

I'm confused. The back story is all irrelevant. She asked if your husband wants to go, he said yes so he should pay. I don't understand why he wouldn't?

You are a doormat and she will continue to treat you like one of you don’t speak up for yourself 🤷‍♀️

She asked if he wanted the ticket when we were with other people, in a "oh, do you want to go instead of the ticket not being used" way.
She text me this morning saying "can you transfer me the money for that ticket?". I asked "what do you mean?" And she replied with a "well DH is taking the ticket so it would be £100. I need the money soon if you don't mind".

And honestly, I couldn't be arsed with the arguing.
The tickets are in my Ticketmaster account and I did not want her kicking off, saying I was keeping them etc so I sent the money but I do feel quite angry about it.

It's definitely a lesson learned and we will no longer be booking events together in this way.

It’s right there in the op. He doesn’t like the band and they would rather not have gone than spend £100 on a ticket.
Op surely he could have simply replied ‘sorry I thought you were giving it away’ and then given the ticket back?

Why didn't you offer up 4 payments of £25?

I don't want this hanging over me, nor do I want her complaining that she cannot afford X, Y or Z because of it.

I know I am not to blame, she is for booking things she cannot afford and for making plans she cannot keep.

This is the tip of the iceberg with the situation, the straw that broke the camels back.

There is definitely going to be a change in our relationship, but I wasn't sure if being angry over this was an unreasonable reaction.

Is the gig sold out? If so; worth trying to resell through Ticketmaster to get the money back

I don’t think YABU and I can see why you feel how you do. Next time she suggests doing something, or being involved in an event, just remind her of this and say no.

Did she pay for the ticket in full? If yes, I can’t see the problem. Your DH could have declined.

Cross posted

Then, tbh, it’s on you for not saying ‘Oh, you weren’t clear. DH isn’t interested. If you want to sell it, you’d better hurry up.’

She has demonstrated she’s consistently signing up to stuff she can hardly afford and will drop / shift plans as suits her. Lessons learned and won’t be repeated.

Why can’t you put it up for Ticketmaster resell at face value / £20 off of your husband doesn’t want to attend?

She played you. Don’t let her get away with it. Tell her DH thought he was just using up a spare ticket, he doesn’t want to pay for it, so she should sell it to someone else.

But he likes them enough to go. I wouldn't go to see a band I don't like. He will benefit from the ticket, he'll see the band and get a lovely night out with his wife and child. Why wouldn't he pay? It also means she won't be able to continue to try and find someone else to take it. If he really doesn't want to go then he had the chance to say no and not pay.

No, it’s on the person who owns the ticket, i.e. the sister.

Chalk it up to experience and in future book tickets for your family only if Sis wants to come along great send her a link for booking process

I go to quite a few of concerts through my work’s corporate hospitality perks. I wouldn’t actually pay to see any of them.

I would sell the ticket on twickets.

Well you haven't made it clear to her that your DH never really wanted to go otherwise you would've bought 4 tickets in the 1st place.

It would BU to be annoyed with her without actually telling her why!

You should've offered to pay £50 and explained why but its too late now

The problem is the event isn't sold out, which if why she found it difficult to sell (it's not Oasis reunion or Eras Tour haha).

My DH enjoys music, he just doesn’t particularly enjoy live music events or busy/crowded places.

I think he said yes to coming because we had previously spoken about some issues we'd had and us not doing much together anymore. I love live music, festivals etc, he is more into golf and gaming. I have went to different golf activities with him to spend time with him, and had mentioned him doing the same. I didn't intended for him to throw himself in at the deep end like this. So we'll see what the outcome is.

As I said, it's more the straw that broke the camels back than anything else and is a big wakeup call for any future events. It's not something I am going to dwell on for years to come.

Yes, but problems with reselling are your sister’s problem, not yours, surely?

Oh most definitely.

You are not to blame as such, but if you know she tends to book things she can't afford and make plans she doesn't keep, why did you pay upfront for her ticket? Why didn't you say actually you couldn't afford the third ticket for her and if she wanted you to buy her ticket at the same time you were buying yours she would need to transfer the money. I would be a bit firmer with these things. It's not fair for you to lose out on money but if you know she is flaky then put in firmer boundaries.

This. There are loads and loads of things in life that I would do if they were free but not if they were £100. And I am comfortably off so £100 is pretty meaningless to me.

Your sister was sneaky in my view. Arguably a misunderstanding but rather a convenient one for her.

Personally I would mutter “dickhead” a lot, vow to never do anything involving money and bet again and then move on.