How often is it acceptable to have a weekend to yourself?

[Loppa]

We have three kids aged 14, 11 and 2.

He has always hiked, which as the children got older, he did more. He used to do hiking and drinks with friends every Saturday (8am - 4pm), which I didn’t mind so much as the children were older and needed less input.

However, since having our 2 year old, he did stop every weekend and did it occasionally. Recently it has stepped up to every other weekend again. Today I got quite cross and texted him saying I am not doing this regularly and if he wants to do his hobby on a Saturday he can pay a childminder for the youngest. He’s since come home in a right strop. His argument is he works full time and hard all week (so do I, I work part time but the rest of the time I’m running around looking after the kids) and he needs this time with his friends to destress. I think doing this with any regularity is ridiculous and a piss take, given our youngest is 2 and has just started a very difficult tantrum phase. I don’t mind occasionally, or if it was just a morning but it’s an entire Saturday I’m left alone with the kids, basically an extension of my working week.

AIBU?

My dh used to spend every Saturday from April to October 11am-6pm doing his hobby while I had a young baby and a 2 year old. Thankfully he realized it was selfish to do this every Saturday when our kids were this age and has given it up for now. No advice, but I sympathize.

Can you not alternate so that the following week you get the Saturday to yourself, and have Sunday as your “family day”?

Yeah I'm with this. I'd be annoyed if I didn't get an equal amount of time to myself.

A weekend entirely to myself? Once a year.

A few hours, then pitching in 100 per cent when I return? Once or twice a fortnight.

For parents, I'd say it's acceptable to have as many weekends to yourself as your partner does.

Would the amount of time my DP spends qualify as a ‘few hours’? To me it’s a whole day. He does put the kids to bed when he gets back.

Find yourself a hobby to do for that amount of time every other Sunday.

I’ll suggest this and we will see how it goes down.

Utterly selfish to be out all day. Half a day yes, or once every few weeks. Sorry but we all might need that time when working and parents to young kids but tough. He presumably signed up for another child. So can pull his weight.

Our rule is DH and I both have equal time to enjoy to ourselves BUT the priority is family time.

So if he had every Saturday and I had Sundays there would clearly be no family time.

So typically he gets one weekend morning & I get the other. But sometimes we do a family day out so neither of us get free time.

Occasionally we do a bigger thing & have a whole day to ourselves but that’s like once every couple of months.

Weekends away to ourselves are like once a year, twice max

I know a guy who has weekends away doing his hobby like once a month (plus does his hobby several times a week at home). They have two young kids under 5. I would love to know what his wife really thinks (I’m nosy!)

Second hand back pack for your toddler.. Have the dc ready next week end....

If he's out every other Saturday, take yourself off on the Saturday he's home and leave him with the kids all day. Seems fair 👍

I’m part of a walking group who meet up quite regularly, one member has been a father now for a good two years.

he joins us with his DC in a “toddler hiking backpack” and sometimes has to cut and run home.

id encourage your DH to take the toddler with you and enjoy the peace every weekend. Enjoy.