To not know what to do about this neighbor situation?

[Kate8889]

My MIL (retired) lives a couple streets away from us, a ten minute walk. Her neighbors are on the board of a wonderful school we'd love our daughter to get into (it's supposedly by lottery but we don't know if that's truly how it's done behind the scenes)

The family has five kids and we have reasons to be concerned for their safety. Three weeks ago they had a fire and all the kids were home alone (oldest is 8, youngest is 1), they barely escaped without serious lung damage because a contractor working on a nearby house noticed smoke and got them out.

This week, the mom left the youngest in front of the house on the driveway to crawl around and went back inside for 20 minutes. The other kids started yelling for her when the baby crawled out into the street.

If we call in to social services, they may know and keep our daughter from getting into the good school, but we also don't want something awful to happen to the kids.

Well I don’t see how they would necessarily find out who contacted social services but are you really comfortable putting your daughter’s getting into a “naice” school before the safety of five children?

Why would you contacting the social services stop your daughter from getting into the school I dont understand this ? You can report it anonymously can you not ?

Did firefighters attend to the fire ?

Yes police and fire had a long talk with the parents after everything was put out

Yes but they may guess if it's something where only one person saw a specific thing happen.

I’d imagine social services will already be involved after the fire and the children were found alone?

Your local area should have an anonymous call and report option. Ours is called the front door. You definitely should be reporting your concerns as they are quite serious. For me that would over ride wanting my child to get into a school as if someone awful happened and I had said nothing I’d feel so guilty.

And you think they’re going to say ‘Haha! The people who live two streets away must have dobbed us in! Let us block their school application and burn their house down!’?

If my mother in law is on her porch and nobody else is around, and we call it in, they would know

Are you in the UK?
Is it a private school?

Call DS - how would you feel if something happened to one of the children?

Don't be so utterly ridiculous. If you genuinely have a safeguarding concern about someone's children then you report it to the relevant authorities.

As a senior teacher of 30 years I can tell you that people who are 'on the board' of schools, ie governors, get absolutely no say in who attends the school and who doesn't. There are strict criteria to follow to ensure that there is no nepotism.

In the US not a private school but 2000 children applied last year and only 300 spots were available, it is excellent, closeby, and tuition free. There is a lottery system for who gets in.

I would be concerned about those kind of people being on a school board

Definitely but it will be teachers interacting with the children

Respectfully, the judgement of an institution which cares for children and which has consistently dangerously neglectful parents on its board is not somewhere I’d be considering for my children. It’s also pretty odd to have a couple on a school board.

I think it may be just the dad on the board, but yes, very true

You can do nothing and accept the risk that “something awful” could happen to these children (knowing this could be prevented if you’d called), or you can take the risk that this family somehow figure out it was you who called, then also do something to stop your daughter getting a place at the school.
Which is most likely to happen, and which choice are you happy to live with?

Yeah and previous posters are right that it may be a systemic issue in the school if they allow parents like this to stay on the board. I think we'll call it in if we see anything further that seems dangerous/super neglectful.

There's being a meddlesome busybody, and then there's making sure the children stay alive.