To think that you shift stuff off the sofa so that people can sit down?

[Cliffedge25]

Friends houses, a couple recently, gone round (invited) and unable to sit down because of stuff on the sofa. Stood awkwardly or perched on a the sofa arm having a coffee and conversation.
They don’t seem to notice or be bothered and make no effort to move any of it.

Same with my partner, he just doesn’t even seem to notice that anyone coming round have nowhere to sit, makes absolutely no effort to move any of his stuff, doesn’t even cross his mind that he needs to shift it.

It’s their home, but it really puts me off going again and I feel embarrassed of my partner’s crap everywhere when people come round.

Is it fussy and my problem to feel awkward standing up with a coffee in my hand while having a conversation with someone sitting comfortably in their spot on their sofa?

So you stood in the middle of the room drinking a cup of coffee you’d been invited around for, because literally every seat in the room other than the one your jist/hostess was sitting on was covered in stuff?

Next time meet her out for coffee in a cafe. Problem solved. ☕️

I'd have said, 'Can I shift this stuff so I can sit here?'

I would just start moving stuff myself or say, where would you like me to sit? ☺️

If they're friends, surely you could have just said, 'where shall I pop this so I can sit down?'

Whilst it's not ideal that they didn't offer, I can't see why you couldn't have politely asked so I voted you ABU.

If they’re my friend, I’d pick the stuff up myself and move it. It’s a bit passive aggressive to just stand there in the middle of the room making a point…

You just stood there like a lemon? Surely you move them or ask her to move them.
She's a terrible host, but you also need to speak up.

Give over OP, this is mumsnet. We do not have stuff on our sofas, we have lovely designer cushions.

This is what I usually do but they wanted to show me their new TV so invited me round.
Very smart it was too!
Yes! Literally 2 sofas, one full of Amazon boxes, clothes, bags, cushions and the other where friends sat was big enough for them alone, so I was stood in the doorway like a lemon!

Hang on, they sat down on the sofa but the rest of it was covered? Yeah that is odd of them not to notice and move the stuff.

But equally, you could have spoken up and said I’m just going to put this lot on the floor. Maybe she thought you are a percher and liked sitting on the arm? (I am a percher)

And you didn’t say ‘Where can I put this?’ and just move something?

It was piled high!!

Same couple who’s dh turned the TV up because he couldn’t hear the Simpsons because we were talking! We were in the room.. again, it’s their home and I won’t be going back but my partner does this sofa thing too.

Obviously I get him to shift it but unless I tell him… no comprehension.

Not excusing them, but I think when mess has been there for a while, you kinda don’t see it any more. They probably don’t even think of it as a second sofa now 😁

Lesson learnt. Stick with the cafe for coffee next time.
And if they want to show you another new item (TV, coffee table, or something mental like a stuffed pet or whatever) then just ask to see a photo on their phone 😆 🤣 😂

Dont stand there like a lemon. 🍋

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and go to Costa 😆

I'd say the OP had clearly visited my mother - except for the fact that she wouldn't ever invite anybody in, much less offer a drink in case they wanted to move the Stuff.

ETA: Yes, she's a hoarder, too.

😆 yes local cafe from now on!

And you have friends with appalling manners why?

Well, as long as OP puts her bag down on the seat next to her so that the friend cant sit down!!!

I wonder if there is something not right with the brain functioning here, sort of social communication deficits. My OH is like this in restaurants, waitress comes over, hot plates, the meal is for him, usually they'll ask 'who's having the fish' or whatever. He doesnt answer (when its him), so she's there dithering with the plate, then the space in front of him is covered either in his drink or phone or arms and he makes no move to move them all out the way so she can put the plate down

It astounds me all the time, we have had 'many' a conversation about it. Nothing goes in. Something not right in the wiring in my view.

Very rude of them.

But why on earth didn’t you say something?! I mean yea, they sound rude but surely a friend you say something?

Yes! This too! Like, where are they thinking that the plate is going to go.. then ensues a flurry of activity while they shift their crap out of the way, meantime the poor waitress hands are getting burnt to a crisp!

Also people who stand up in restaurants and cafes and don’t push their chair in so no one can get past..

The host was unbelievably RUDE. I'd have moved stuff off the sofa or fetched a kitchen chair.

I keep sofas and chairs absolutely free for this reason - not even a mocking troll. I think if people would rather not move someone else’s things around. We’re not cluttered anyway, though I suppose it’s all relative and if you are cluttered maybe you don’t realise it.