That I feel uncomfortable about all these men

[OrangutanOne]

I've been living with my girlfriend a short time and i've started to see things that make me feel uncomfortable when it comes to her and men. Maybe i'm being unreasonable but let me explain:

1. She had an ex boyfriend come to her house (before we moved in together) and pick her up and take her to the pub for a few hours. She'd left me with the impression that she was staying in her house and so when I called her and she answered from a pub I was a bit confused. She didn't tell me who she was with and lied about being on her own until I said it was obvious she wasn't. She then told me she was with her ex.
2. She is arranging to meet up for a few drinks with 2 single guys from work who are in their early 20's (my girlfriend is 37). She tells me they're just friends. She messages them almost every day.
3. She arranged to meet up with another bloke who she'd fallen for a few years ago and wanted him to leave his wife. We'd had a falling out when she contacted him to arrange to meet up, but she hasn't yet.
4. She's talking about her works Xmas Do (2025) and told me how she'd spend all night with 2 blokes. One of them is married and they kissed at last years Xmas Do and she fell for him (we weren't together then). Since we've been together she's messaged him but deleted all the messages from her phone. The other bloke she sent flirty messages to on the build up to the Xmas Do and suggested she sneaks him into the ladies toilet. They all went back to the second blokes house last year and apparently nothing happened. Since we've been together he's made sexually inappropriate comments to her which she doesn't have a problem with.
5. She told me she was going for a dog walk at 7.30pm but instead went to the pub for 3 1/2 hours. I knew something wasn't right as she didn't have her dog walking clothes on but instead spent over an hour getting ready and had a dress on. During the evening, she got herself caught in a lie having initially said she was only with her female friend but then told me she was also with 1 bloke who was gay. A couple of weeks later and she tells me there was a second bloke and she also tells me that these blokes (who she'd never met before) bought her drinks. Last week I was in the same pub with her and some bloke comes over and knows her name and says hello to her. She said that she'd just said hello to him on the above night, however, he was acting like she knew a lot about him by the way he was conversing with her. He returned to his friend where he told his friend about my girlfriend. I know this as I went to the bar and caught him mid conversation at which point he froze and said "this is X's fella who I was just telling you about". He was discussing things that weren't discussed when he saw us 5 mins earlier.
6. We went out for her daughters birthday earlier this week and went to a family friendly pub that has a play area for kids. A few minutes after arriving we went to the bar together and I ordered drinks. I turned around to find her literally running after a Dad and his daughter. I walked back to our table and she takes the drink I bought her and goes and sits with the Dad (his daughter now in the play area with the other children). She spends about 20 mins with him until one of her friends starts trying to get her to come and sit back with me, which she finally does. We order food and eat together and then she makes an excuse to go to the bar with the Dad even though her friend wanted to go to the bar with her (she ignored her friend who ended up going to the bar on her own). Later, a photo is being taken and i'm stood next to my girlfriend. She then moves and positions herself in front of this Dad.
7. Her WhatsApp and Facebook are littered with men contacting her whilst I can count on one hand how many women actually message her.
8. She has someone she refers to as a 'work husband'. She has assured me that they are just friends and I don't suspect anything dodgy.
9. She has another male friend who she messages almost every day.

It just all feels a bit much and i'm just wondering if i'm being unreasonable for feeling so uncomfortable with it.

Gather up your self respect and tell her to fuck off.

She's taking the piss bin her off

You don’t trust her,
You’ve caught her out in lies

You still moved in with her though, that was probably a mistake.

Definitely in camp ‘bin her off’

For goodness sake get rid. No need for drama or a lengthy analysis of the reasons why just set yourself free from this insanity.

She sounds very needy. Definitely not good and won't end well. Bin her ASAP

Cool story 🤥

She sounds like a nightmare. Run away!

Cool story bro.

Bin her.

You've posted this before.

She’s awful. Walk away and find someone who isn’t thirsty for constant male attention.

First post nailed it!

There are some men who get the most exquisite torment and pain from imagining their wives or girlfriends with other men. They will ruminate on what she might be doing, and write about it very carefully and in great detail, with one hand. Do you know someone like this, I wonder?

d

Binned.

I tried calling her yesterday at around 6.30pm to tell her I was nipping home from work to grab something i'd forgotten, she didn't answer. I got home and discovered her car outside the house, the house empty and her phone left in the house. I grabbed the thing i'd forgotten and went back to work. She finally contacted me at 10pm and had a go at me for contacting her. I asked her what she'd been up to during the day/evening and she told me she'd stayed in. I clearly knew that wasn't right and so I told her that i'd nipped home and the house was empty. At which point she told me she had been to the pub and told me what pub she was in. However, by complete coincidence, my mate was in that pub with another friend of his and they'd been there (and a second pub) for several hours so I knew she was lying. When I said I knew she wasn't in the first pub because my mate was there she changed her story and told me she'd gone to the second pub (that my friend had also been in) so I also knew that was a lie. I told her again that I knew that wasn't true at which point she then told me she was in a different pub which was further away and not one you would walk to. I can't prove whether she was or wasn't in that pub. However, because of it's distance and the fact she left her phone behind someone would have to come and pick her up and so I asked her who she was with. She refused to tell me and instead just gave me the middle finger.

Move out again, it's not working

She’s a typical old fashioned slut. Simple as

Those arrangements are being made today.

Jesus F#ck, mate. She'll be making you watch other guys shag her at this rate. Pull yourself together, get yer stuff and get the Hell out of there and go home.

UPDATE - We've been broken up since last year and she lives with the ex-boyfriend she met up with on the Easter Sunday. That's also who she met the night she went to the pub and lied about where she was. The next day, while I was typing the above post, she was supposed to be in work, however, she'd left work early and had gone to his house. The day we broke up she got out of my bed in the morning and into his that night after going out on the drink with him all day.

About 6 weeks ago she contacted me and told me that she still loves me, wants to marry me, have my child and that we're best friends and soul mates. We met up a few times and she was behaving like she was all loved up, was flrting etc. She repeatedly told me she loves me, that the bloke she lives with is a liar and that he convinced her to leave me and she wanted to move back in with me. She told me that she realised she made mistakes and that she'd changed...but then told me that she never sneaked around behind my back or cheated on me! I told her that I didn't want anything to do with her cheating on him. She said she didn't want to cheat on him but she couldn't help how she felt and she wanted to be back with me. She came up with some sort of vague plan to leave him which still included her sleeping with him every night. I told her that doesn't work for me and if she was serious about leaving him then she needs to stop sleeping with him, going on dates etc. She didn't and instead she'd stop contacting me every weekend and every evening. It got to the point that she only spoke to me once in 2 weeks (I assume because he had taken some annual leave). I told her that her actions and words weren't aligning and it felt like nothing had changed, to which she replied saying she won't speak to me when i'm sending messages that can cause a fight. So I messaged her back bascially telling her to enjoy her life.

Crikey! I'm normally a big advocate for mixed sex friends, and indeed my two closest friends are male, but bloody hell. I'd run a mile here!

Good lord! You need to tell her to fuck right off!

But why would you bother with even more drama? It's worth reflecting on why you not only entered into a relationship with a compulsive liar with a drink problem, but actually moved in with her.

Love an update!

Good for you for not falling for it all- regardless of whether she was with other men, she is a liar and you can't trust anything she says.

You don't want to be with someone who lies. You'd never be able to trust anything she says.

Hopefully the next one you meet will be a better match ❤️