To to be annoyed and upset that our plans to move look as if they have been scuppered?

[Gateau]

AFter much discussion, my DH and I (along with our baby DS) had decided to move to Ireland. We had planned to put our house up for sale this month. It's where I'm from and my DH was happy to move there. His family - understandably, I suppose - have never wanted us to go and have made that abundantly clear; so much so that his mother told him once that with her son moving away it felt as if he was dead.
In the last few days however, my DH's brother has told him of a "golden opportunity" job that has come up in his company. Granted, it will mean a lot more money and it is a great opportunity for DH -widening his prospects etc etc.. BUT our plans to move get shelved. It would also mean my DH would be working from home most of the time (we don't have ANY space for an office) and also doing a bit of travelling. In the past, he has said he wouldn't like to do either - which worries me somewhat. We don't know how much travelling will be involved at this point. If it's going to be on certain days then I will have to give up my part-time job as there will be no-one to take our DS to nursery.
Needless to say, we have been discussing this all weekend. DH wants to go for it, and I really don't want him to - because we had definite plans to move. And for the reasons mentioned above. But I am in a dilemma because while I know he won;t go for it if I really don;t wnat him to, I also am aware he could resent me for preventing him from doing it, in the future.
To make matters worse, we had my DH's mother on the phone last night saying what a "wonderful opportunity" it was, that I probably wouldn't want to work and I can go back to Ireland every weekend.... Yeah, and that will cost how much in the long-run??! I feel so annoyed that she is meddling and all she seems to care about is keeping her son here, without giving a about our family life. Surprise, surprise, DH and I had a huge row about it all last night - and now I just dot know what to do. I have even suggested he takes the job and we still put the hse up for sale (because it will prob take ages to sell in the current market)and see how it all goies, But he won't do that. So it's an all or nothing scenario.
I feel so off as I don't want DH to resent me forever for depriving him of this opportunity, but at the same time I don't want to stay here.
Am I being really selfish? SOme advice welcome, please!!!!

Thanks for your interest and input, both of you.
It's not that we're putting our lives on hold: the job simply isn't suitable, even if we were planning to stay here for the rest of our lives.
Secondly, yes, of course I would have to give up my CURRENT job if we moved to Ireland, but I would want to work there too - part-time. I have worked hard to get where I am (exams etc and crap money to put up with when I started out) and don't want to give it all up. Everything is going quite tickety boo at the moment for us and we both feel this new job would upset the applecart somewhat.
It's not that I HATE where we live now, I just want my little boy to grow up near his 'wider' family. Over here he has DH's parents and brother (the latter takes NO interest in him whatsover). Over in Ireland, LOADS of people adore him - cousins etc, so I don't want him to miss out on that.
I'm fully aware our house probaby won't sell quickly - or even within the next year - but I do think we need to get it out there. Then at least we have a "plan." I don;t knwo why the inlaws are getting so het up about our move as it probably won't happen for quite a while!

Possibly because they are upset that their son is moving so far away from them. It?s irrational, and essentially they should be letting you get on with your own lives, but if they?re used to seeing your dh often then they may find it hard to think of a time when they won?t see him, also they may be upset at the prospect of missing their grandchild growing up.

But you said: ?Everything is going quite tickety boo
at the moment for us and we both feel this new job would upset the applecart somewhat.?. But moving is going to upset the applecart hugely. Things are going well for you in your current life, in your current jobs, in the current area you live in. If you move you will be giving all that up. Yes you will obviously look for other jobs in Ireland but it?s not a case of transferring your existing life into a new place, you will be starting again, new colleagues, having to make new friends, having to start in a new job and being the new employee and having to re-build your reputation and regain the respect you have had in this current job.

I?m by no means saying you shouldn?t move btw. If dh was offered a job in Australia tomorrow I would be on the next flight out there. But moving to a new area is almost like having a baby, it changes your life completely.

Thank again.
Maybe I'm naive, but I think I know what we're getting where we're moving to. I know it like the back of my hand. And yes, I know the grass can be greener. I just want us to be near my family and friends - I miss them more than you can imagine and am not that happy where I live now. I have friends, yes, but deep down I'm lonely and feel a need to go back to my roots. I miss my Mum; she's marvellous with my DS - much more than my MIL (i'm not being bitchy, that's the truth). I don;t want to never go back and then regret it for the rest of my life.
It's instinct that as a family we'll be happier and I often live my life by my instincts. It's hard to explain really.
"What about your DH??", I hear you all screaming at me! Well he is happy to move because it will make me happy. Granted, he would rather stay here, but he is happy to make that move. It's totally admirable, honourable and I'm lucky to have him. I know that.