First week of school!

[autumngirl714]

And my son has come home from school having wet himself and none of the teachers knowing (he said he did to at dinner time so had wet paints all day)
lost his school jumper during the day
lost his drinks bottle during the day the following day
and now I’ve just had a message from school saying he hasn’t got his book bag when he took it in this morning meaning that has gone missing at school too!

Aibu to be really annoyed and concerned about the attention teachers are taking in him?
he is undiagnosed of anything but suspected autistic traits so he is in the SEN radar and I’ve been told he has extra eyes at school.
he’s 5 and in yet one. He’s finding this really upsetting as he’s thinking he’s done something wrong.

im also told that 2 others children’s jumpers have gone missing and one school coat in the same year.

i know that stuff goes missing at school, i know the teachers have a lot of children to look after but to me this is absolutely not ok!!!

all this is ONE week!!!

The class will have a TA, he wont have a 1:1 TA unless you've been through the process in which youd be well aware of. Children do lose loads, its very frustrating and I would speak to them about him wetting himself if you havent already as there are usually things that can be noted such as prompting those struggling a bit to go/make sure theyre confident in asking to go the toilet etc.

Very few families have 30+ kids to deal with every day though, right? So yeah…obviously if a parent was not managing to keep track of their OWN CHILD’S jumper, book bag, PE kit and water bottle, they might be considered a bit slack…but expecting a teacher to keep track of every single child’s mislaid item is actually unhinged!

He’s 5 and in yr 1? Or reception?

I’m not going to share his personal struggles on here, but I was told by his teacher last year he would transitioning with a TA from his old class who will be helping him with his development plan.
I don’t expect them to watch him and only him and I’ve never suggested that.

He’s 5 and in yr 1, in England.

I currently teach a year 3/4 class. Today, I gave at least 4 verbal reminders for children to take jumpers home, I got the kids to recite it back to me plus hand actions, I have a visual aid for end of day on my whiteboard and in two places in the cloakroom. I then sent my two cloakroom monitors into the cloakroom to check for missed coasts and jumpers, I then went in and checked myself. We then handed out the five jumpers that had been left, resorting to getting pupils to smell them and give them to the correct friends, as they were unlabelled.

all this meant we had no time to read a story at the end of the day. And THEN, when the children got up and walked out, two jumpers were STILL left behind. 😂 I do love my job though ❤️

He doesn't have an EHCP so he won't have a 1:1 TA as he doesn't have the funding for that. The class TA might do interventions with him but they won't be there to be with him constantly as I expect they are either a class TA helping set up the classroom, run groups separate to the teacher and to take children out. They might not even be in the class full time and might be shared with the class next door.

I work in year 1 and these are all common. Unless the child says they have wet themselves or someone notices a smell or wet patch it won't be obvious if a child has had an accident. Especially if it has happened at lunchtime when the children will be outside with a mealtime assistant, so possibly different staff.
Jumpers are a nightmare. Today I took out 5 at home time with no names in. There has also been a couple of children who picked up the wrong jumpers off the carpet and then had to switch back the next day as parents realised. Year 1 are quite little still and not always good at listening - we take drinks out at break time and although they are reminded to pick them up at the end of playtime and we do a quick scan of the playground there is always one that has to go back later to see if they have left theirs behind. Likewise we have a box for book bags but some children will hang theirs still on their peg like they did in reception.
Do make sure you fully check his bag too - a parent had me hunting for a jumper, when I went back to explain I couldn't find it and asked the child if they put it in their bag at the end of the day they suddenly discovered it hiding under their coat.
I would just check the classroom routine with your son and his teacher and remind him of this so that you reinforce it as well as them. Definitely agree with labelling everything clearly. Don't just put a surname as others may have the same one so that also makes it harder to find the right child.

If he was able to tell you that he had wet himself at lunchtime, why didn’t he tell the teacher at lunchtime or throughout the afternoon?

My son does most of these things each day and he is 6! He has constipation so regularly has issues in that respect that he keeps to himself. Loses jumpers, water bottles, shoes, pencil cases on a daily basis. Has cuts and bruises that he has no explanation for. Its a shock to the system in reception, especially if they've come from nursery where theyre closely monitored and everything is reported to you. None of this is a big issue.

So is it in his plan that he will have a 1:1?

It sounds like the class TA moved up with the class to help him and all the children with transition. They won’t be working 1:1 with any child. They will support all the children, many of which have SEND.

I would pick up on the wetting incident. Depending how bad it was (there’s a difference between soaked through, puddle on the floor and didn’t quite make it in time so trickled a bit) I’d just keep it to “please remind x to go to the toilet regularly throughout the day and check on him, particularly at lunch times”. Encourage him to tell an adult and ask for help.

The other stuff? It honestly happens. Not even in just one week , but in a day(and with much older kids)!! Jumpers, water bottles, shoes (how?!?), lunch boxes, glasses, socks, pants and jewellery (on swimming days). We even had one little girl go home wearing two summer dresses !! The other girl had football club straight after school so didn’t have to get changed. No one realised until she got home, at which point it was too late.

It is possible to be 5 in Reception in England if your birthday is in the first 12 days of Sept. DS was 5 his first week.

Im a Year 1 teacher. Can he express his needs to an adult? It's hard to spot a wet and with getting my phonics assessments child by child yday afternoon on a classroom on my own, wouldn't have noticed if trousers dark/long top etc.
I also have parents sending shirty emails about lost jumpers and waterbottles but I've said "please please tell me if yoh can't find something" to both the class and particular individuals over and over - it gets missed.
How many hours did the LA agree for a named adult?

Edited to add nearly all Year 1 classes i ln my LA do not have an LSA, there might be funding for a named child for a certain period. Do you ask your child to just go back into the cloakroom and collect what they have forgotten? Can you practice at home by getting your child to get the things he needs for school independently?

No offence but it's never too early for children to step up to taking responsibility for their stuff. A teacher really can't take personal responsibility for 30 kids' things.

Labelling is vital - imagine 30 coats and identi-jumpers. First time your child takes it off at play and leaves it outside, it's lost and we have no clue who it belongs to or even which class.

I don't know if parents envisage possessions staying near their child's seat or peg or something, but this rarely happens and people are delusional if they think labelling isn't needed.

Not great if he wet himself but again, grey trousers can hide it easily. Even if he's SEN, if this hasn't happened before then it's not on their radar as something to check - they may have simply asked him if he had an OK lunch and he not said anything.

Did you not consider deferring for reception since he is so young and you think he has additional needs?

First week can be chaotic. If all of his things are labelled then there is a very high probability they will make their way back to you. Try not to panic.

The extra help is unlikely as schools are massively overstretched. We struggle to find the staff to give EHCP designated 1-1s. let alone extra eyes on children who may be very slightly delayed with no diagnosis. Put extra pants in their school bag. Email the teacher to let them know that he had a toilet accident at lunchtime and could he be reminded to use the toilet before lunch and press on. In six months I’m sure it will be infinitely better.

An my assumption was he was in Reception. How was his toileting in Reception? If this is a new thing for him in year 1 then it could be indicative of a stress repose due to everything having changed. Lots of communication with him and staff will help. I’m sure it will sort itself out. Try not to worry.

I used to work in an infant school.

Jumpers were really hard to keep track of. Lunchtime actually has a very low staff number and this is when pupils flung their jumpers off without a care in the world. I used to go round collecting all the jumpers I could see and return them, but so many werent named and some were missed because they were in unusual places. Also everyone else being 5 it wasnt unheard of for a child to put the wrong jumper on, and thier unnamed one was sat it the lost property box..Or thier real jumper on the peg. Parents dont wash jumpers everyday so it would take ages to reappear.

Its the same with wetting themselves. Its hard to notice a damp patch on dark grey trousers. This is one I feel really sorry for children as we always say 'tell an adult' and the adults are super nice when it happens. But some children just dont have the confidence. Some adults cant even speak up for themselves.

The wetting is important to discuss with them - that is likely to be what gets him noticed a bit more. And if you've been promised something that he needs then of course bring that up with them.

Keep a diary of these things, it'll come in handy if you need to give evidence of his needs not being met. Hopefully the possessions will work their way back to you over time but a book bag going missing is quite extreme.

I wonder if Y1 & 2 have had less TA cover this week. Our infants tended to put all hands on deck in YR as much as poss in the first week or two, and in practice those extra hands can only really come from Y1 & 2 class TAs.

Most children in Y1 will be 5 right now. Some will be 6 in the next couple of weeks, others will not be 6 until August next year.

Hopefully the possessions will work their way back to you over time but a book bag going missing is quite extreme.

"Extreme" ?

It really isn't.

I think it’s worth going over with him ‘don’t forget your jumper/bottle/book bag etc’ lots of talking about it, lots of reminding. At home get him to pick up things he’s left out and put them away. Ask him to take his cup to the sink or find his shoes if he’s left them somewhere other than the correct place. As soon as he comes out if anything is missing send him straight in to look for it.

This is great advice.

A TA along side him? Assume this is a private school then?

Im a TA in KS1. I’m the only TA covering 2 mixed Y1/2 classes with 30 kids in each. In those classes I have about 15 children with significant diagnosed SEN including one with GDD who is about 2.5 developmentally. This child and 2 more are also in nappies.
I spend my mornings running between 2 classes to try and support the children with their learning, teach phonics and do multiple reading groups and change nappies. I then spend my afternoons doing interventions whilst both class teachers are trying to actually teach and deal with any other issues that may come up.
I mean this kindly, walk a mile in my shoes or any other TA at the moment. A child with significant SEN needs cannot even get the support that they need due to budget cuts so I highly doubt any school would have a spare TA to sit along side him.
Make sure everything is named and teach him to look after his own things by putting them on his peg/drawer. With regards to the toilet accident, we aren’t psychic. Unless there is visible wetness or a smell then quite honestly I don’t have time to check 30 children to make sure they haven’t wet themselves.