A bit of background, I have a complicated and unhealthy relationship with food. History of binge eating, always been slightly overweight and (many years ago) had a very controlling partner who would have to 'approve' everything I ate...I'm free of him now and in a very loving relationship, but it's left a lasting legacy of feelings of shame around food.
I generally eat quite healthy, I try and stay within my calorie allowance and I workout every day. I'm a lot healthier than I used to be and am generally in a good place with my body now.
I have a colleague who used to be a chef and loves food, I love food and enjoy cooking so we do talk about recipes a lot. Generally we get on really well.
He's always been very interested in what I'm eating for lunch. At first I found it difficult and a bit triggering, but I know he is only being curious so I've gotten used to it and didn't say anything because I figured I was just being overly sensitive.
He's now started occasionally making comments about me eating and I'm finding it really hard. If we have sweets or bisuits in the office I will usually avoid them, but whenever I do have one it will be something along the lines of 'moment on the lips' or something in that vein. Yesterday in the office I had two haribo sweets and then a packet of (baked) crisps after my lunch, because I was feeling really hungry, it is more than I'd usually have so it was unusual for me which is maybe why he picked up on it. He's made a joke this morning on our group chat about me 'being on a mission' yesterday and it was '[my name] vs food'. I feel so judged but also just disgusted and ashamed of myself, I've not eaten anything all day as a result and feel like s**t.
I'm fairly confident he doesn't mean these comments to hurt me, I think he just means it as a joke. I'd never comment on someone's food intake, but then I'm very sensitive to it myself so maybe it's something that other people don't think is a big deal?
I either suck it up and stop eating stuff in the office so there's no need for him to comment or I try and delicately bring it up with him and explain that I'm actually very sensitive to these kind of jokes/comments and would appreciate if he tried to avoid making them in future. Is there a way to do this without making him feel like he has to walk on eggshells around me?
YABU - I need to be less sensitive, he only means it as a joke and it's not worth the possible office fallout if I say anything about it.
YANBU - I should ask him to ease up on the jokes a bit and hope he understands.