OLD should to keep talking to him

[AmyJahabee]

Hi,
l have been talking to a guy I met online for about 6 weeks. We have been on two lovely dates and I like him and he seem to like me too..

but the issue is he seem to kinda only want to meet once every two weeks.. this is not enough for me as I feel the connection will be difficult to keep going. We have been texting everyday and calls in between.

Here
week 1: he came for our first date to visit.. we arrange a date for two weeks later
week 2: while in communication I said I’m available we can meet earlier than next week. He replied saying “I have something arranged with family”
week 3: no date just chatting on phone and text.
week 4: we had our second date, and concluded to meet in week 5.
week 5: is this current week I message confirming I could come over, he said oh sorry I have to do something with my family (his dad and siblings)
he suggests we meet in week 6 ( next week)

No sex, we only kissed.

should I stop calling and texting and only respond?

should I still consider going on more dates? and remove any emotion and just enjoy the date? keep him as friends but no benefit in terms of physical relationships

I like him but I have a feeling he is dating someone else..

what would you do? Should I move on and stop responding?

He is seeing multiple people or married.

It all seems slow. If he's not suggesting dates and he's turning down your suggestions for dates I'd assume he's not that interested in either you as an individual or a long term relationship in general. Maybe it's worth asking him about it to see what he has to say but after that I'd be moving on.

Don’t play games. Just be honest.

unless he’s a single dad I’d say he’s got a family or is seeing multiple people. If you’ve never thought haven’t had the exclusive conversation then seeing multiple is ok till you say it’s not. Married run a mile. Have you seen his house?

@Burntt what do mean by don’t play games? What should say to him that doesn’t make me seem desperate? No not been to his house. I could try FaceTime to get to see his house? Exclusive talk, is 6 weeks not too early?

I think that after only six weeks probably a lot of people on OLD are hedging their bets and seeing multiple people - I don’t think there is anything wrong with that provided that everyone is upfront about it. If it hasn’t come up naturally then it’s something you could broach on the third date because it’s often ‘THE’ date when people choose to have sex. It’s perfectly reasonable to ask if he is seeing other people if the issue of sex comes up because you are well within your rights not to want to do the deed with someone who is sharing fluids with other people. But as I say, six weeks isn’t a long time in the grand scheme of things and if he has family stuff planned that could have been in the diary for well before he met you. For example, if I had started seeing someone at around the same time in July that you did, I would have barely seen them in August - I had a holiday in Glastonbury, I was away working in the north of the country for four days and I had a family meal which meant I was away from home for a further two nights. August was hectic for me and involved friends/family a great deal.

That's ridiculous. He's not got the time for a normal relationship or he's hiding something. It doesn't suit you so move on to see someone else.

He's up to something. What you want is someone who's really into you, not someone who's married with a family who gets the odd night off.

How about you ask him about it, why he can only meet up sporadically.

He could have caring responsibilities, might need to be working some evenings/weekends, might be seeing other women/men, married etc

It’s so difficult because this should be the honeymoon period where you are both excited to be seeing someone new! I am beginning to realise that if they want to see you, they will, no matter what! I am in a similar situation, he says he is so busy and can’t see me more than once a week! I really like him but know in my gut that he is not matching my energy as if he really likes me he’d want to see me more too! I know I have to jump now or I will be even more heartbroken accepting crumbs for longer knowing nothing will
change! Big hug xx

OP, that’s really frustrating! I’m a seasoned dater and would say that he’s not necessarily married but has a full life, friends and family etc, that he’s not prepared to compromise on. They come first. This isn’t exactly great for you, even if it is only early days.
Truth is, some single men get stuck in their rut and find compromise hard. Does he have children?
Communication is key. I would text with ‘Hi X. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you, but think I’ll leave things now, as I would expect to see a potential partner more often than fortnightly. All the best.’

I promise, his response to that will tell you all you need to know. An ‘ok then, bye’ tells you that he wasn’t that into you in the first place. Or he’ll wake up and make things better.
And until you have the exclusivity chat, anything’s game. But he’s clearly not there yet and it’s up to you what you want to do about that.
Good luck.